Am I expecting too much?

[Berangere]

Long story short, DS is 9 months old and has been very up and down with weaning - we have done a mix of purées/pouches alongside BLW. He will happily help hold the spoon and guide it to his mouth. We tend to give him food rather than put it on a plate/mat in front of him… But he has got into an annoying habit of wanting food places in his mouth rather than feeding himself!
To help with context of why I’m worrying, I have a weird control thing where I worry he won’t sleep well if he doesn’t eat lots in a day and therefore try to control his eating if that makes sense. I work myself up about each meal and want him to eat everything I give him - I know it’s not linear and doesn’t work like that…!

I am going to try cutting pieces small and put it all on a plate this evening to give it a go.
I’m prepared for the mess…
But am I expecting too much for him to eat all of this? Is this too much food for a 9 month old? He’s a big 10.5kg boy who is already cruising so very active. He loves his milk too but we are trying to cut that down.

On the plate - cauliflower cheese pinwheel, pancake coated apple slice, babybel and 2 small tomatoes.

This was the aftermath. I chickened out of giving him the whole plate but put each type of thing on the tray for him to self feed. He was getting annoyed and aggy in the high chair by the end. This was 1.5h after a 150ml bottle.

If it helps, my 2y.o. probably wouldn't eat all of that on a good day but would have a yoghurt after eating aybe 1/2 to 3/4 so I think he's done well

You're expecting too much for him to eat all of that everyday.

Sometimes they're hungry and will demolish a portion that size. Other times they'll barely touch it.

He knows how hungry he is, listen to him.

It's more than my 3.5 year old has eaten today if that makes you feel any better.

You’re expecting way too much of him. Milk is still the main source of nutrition until they turn 1.

I also don’t see the problem with him wanting you to put food in his mouth?

If you want him to experiment with food you should be putting it in front of him and give him opportunity to pick it up.

He can probably pick up on your stress too so you are not making the experience enjoyable for him or yourself by the sounds of it.

Also you should be quartering your grapes and probably tomatoes too. They look like halves so please don’t give them to him like that if you are as it’s a choking hazard.

Thanks all, appreciate your responses. I need to reduce the amount of food and just trust him in the whole process.
I just see so many IG accounts where picture perfect babies seem to eat huge plates of food perfectly by themselves, happily - and I can t help but compare. My friends all have great eaters or super picky eaters so don’t have any real view of what is normal.