Please please help me re weaning a 6 1/2 month old...

[bumbly]

today had thoughts of giving my child up for adoption - that is how bad and low i feel

have had problems from the start with my lo

gorgeous as he is - it is all down hill and when i think things cant get worse - the next developmental stage is fraught with problems

so weaning :

it was actually strating well but then he got ill then now gags and vomits after each feed

so meals which he loved have become really stressful

can i ask the mumsnet collective

at 7 months what is your feeding schedule?????

this is mine

wake up 5 am - milk

8ish breakfast some of milk with fruit/baby rice

11:30 milk

1:30 food and usually little milk as all traumatic

4:30/5ish dinner - food traumatic again and hardly any milk

7:30 - milk his favourtie feed and has loads

now question: do i add extra milk feed in mid afternoon at 4ish and delay dinner till 5:30??

really need adive on this

am wondering if giving his milk will keep him happy

he has been crying all day and i think he is craving milk so perhaps meal times will get better again if he is milk satisfied - bit then hv told me weaning is start losing milk and give more food

really at a loss here

what is your feeding schedule??

Bumbly I couldn't not post, you are doing so so well. The most important thing I can say is that at this age milk is what they need. You don't need to be thinking about cutting down milk feeds yet I promise. Weaning at this age is about tasting different things, trying out new textures and flavours, but if your DS wants milk, give him as much as he needs - he'll start reducing his milk as and when he's ready.

DS is 9mo and he still has 4 good milk feeds a day.

bumbly

milk is his main source as bit has far more calories than food.

If its traumatic for him and stressing you both out, forget the food for a while and let him carry on with milk.
Then when he picks up again, try the food

FWIW, my ds1 had terrible reflux and he didnt start eating until 11 months.

sweetheart, i am really, really, really concerned about you

the way you are feeling is not right

you are incredibly frightened and anxious all the time about your LOs development.

did you go to see a paed in France?

i honestly think you need some help to address how you feel, as you are not enjoying motherhood at all.,, or so it seems

as regards weaning, at 6.5 months, a baby does not need 3 meals a day, as long as having plenty of milk, and milk is offered before food, then don;t worry.

milk is the main source of nutrition for the first year, so as long as he gets tastes of food to start with, then don;t panic

get settled with giving one meal, then move on to two, then 3

bearing in mind that he will have days where he is hungrier than others, and days where he won;t eat something he usually loves

eventually solids will replace milk, but not at this early stage in weaning.

Bumbly, the weaning process is a slow transition from milk to solid food. By 12 months the bulk of his diet should probably be made up of solid food. But that's not now! He can still get a fair amount of his nutrition from milk. What you need to do at the moment is make the food parts less traumatic for both of you. Perhaps change how you do things - don't put him in his high chair, for instance, but picnic on the floor. Lay out some finger foods, like soft ripe pear, steamed carrot batons, etc, which you can share. Talk about them, let him pick them up, squish them, taste them. If he tries food and gags and vomits, try to stay calm, just "oh dear, let's get you cleaned up a bit, shall we?". Take your time. He's ok - the illness has set you both back, and you just need to restart a bit. Let him see you enjoying food, and enjoying mealtimes. It will come.

sorry will read posts in a minute - have at this instant got a baby screaming like i never heard before next door - dont know what is happening to him..back in a tick...

ps forgot to add my hv said lo should be on three meals a day form start with finger food = toast tings you dip on egg - sorry not english - soldiers?

so am totally at a lost

Finger food is fine from the start, but the three meals stuff is not necessary. I honestly do not know why some hvs say or think that - I mean - you've been on liquid food your whole life, and suddenly it's 3 solid meals a day? No, it's not necessary at all. toast soliders (yes!) are quite popular with many babies - they do like gumming them to death. Try some very soft fruit cut into chip shapes, like pear, or some steamed carrot.

Until they are 1 do not worry about getting the food in them. You will find that he will give up his milk feeds when he is ready. In the meantime, just introduce him to lots of different takes and don't get stressed about whether he eats it or not.

Nice to know though tha there is another baby out there who wakes up at 5am !!!

Sorry meant to say tastes.

bumbly, was wondering how things were , sorry to hear no better. It sounds like you are doing admirably and tbh I'd ignore hv and offer milk first and treat whatever he eats in way of solids as a bonus for now. As for egg and soldiers , I thought soft eggs were no longer to be offered to such young babies. At 6 months ds was mixed fed but had about 4/5 feeds a day in a similar pattern to your schedule.

at that age ds still had 5 milk feeds with one being in the middle of the night (he gave it up at 8 months). I always split the milk and solids so ds would take enough milk but still have room for solids e.g.

7am -milk
8am - breakfast
11am - milk
12pm - lunch
3pm - milk
5pm - dinner
7.15pm - milk
middle of the night till 8 months - milk

I started with 1 small meal and progressed up to 3 tiny meals within a few weeks with plenty of finger food from 6 months. He dropped his milk when he felt like it and I didnt have to do it for him. He went from 4 feeds at 8 months to 3 feeds at 9 months and down to 2 feeds from about 10 1/2 months - I followed his lead and let him take what he wanted and dropped the bottles when he lost interest in them.

If your lo wants milk first then give it and then give solids a little while later.

Bless you sweetheart. Like Lulumama, I'm concerned for you and how you're feeling.
WRT the weaning, we had a similar situation with DS at that age, he was doing great, became ill then couldn't get back on track at all.
We stopped the solids for 3 days, just giving him as much milk as he wanted then gradually began to introduce very milky, smooth things such as rice, creamy fruit etc.
He's 8 months now and has progressed to eating everything we do!!

I also think Habbibu's idea is a great one and worth trying.

Please don't get stressed by this - Milk is important and he's taking this happily so he will be fine. He will be able to sense if you are uptight at mealtimes so just relax and let him take things slowly.

And keep talking, we're here for you.

and the rule told to me by hv that you must leave 3 hours betwn milk or food????

hmm though think i will go to follow a similar schedule to seona - thans soooooooooooooooooooooooo much for that example

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yup am down as all last night huge screams -seaparation anxiety of huge proportions not helping matters at all

bumbly please listen to lulumama's advice. It seems as though you're doing a really good job but get very anxious
My 9 (nearly 10) mo still has too many milk feeds for me to say how many - maybe 4 or 5 a day and one at night. He almost always has breakfast and tea (unless he's ill, or we've had some sort of crisis) has luch when I can be bothered he eats very little but tastes most things and enjoys the 'meal' with us
he is spoon fed porrige with banana before bed - would you lo go for this?

you do not need to leave 3 hours between milk and food

i am 32 and i need to drink at least every 2 hours or i get a head ache!!

a 6 month old can still be fed on demand IMO

a baby with a nice full tummy will be more settled and happier than one who is forced to wait for food

also, if he has recently been ill then he is going to be unsettled for a while

agree with lulumama, not sure where your hv is coming from tbh, 3 hours ??? . I tried to leave at least an hour or so in between but really if he's hungry feed him ! Maybe he is unhappy because he gets over hungry and/or over tired so does n't eat to his appetite.

Bumbly - think the experts have given some fab advice on here. I have heard that weaning can take a lot of back steps when/ if your LO falls ill.

One suggestion I have is to go back to basics on the weaning front. By that I mean scrap the three meals a day and go back to just one and make that one feed something very palatable (DS found baby rice as his first food excellent) - the 11am feed is normally a good one to do as the one feed a day. Give him his full milk feed, then a little baby rice. If he tolerates this feed, move the baby rice to after the evening and intro a fruit at 11am.

Gradually build up the amounts and build back up gradually to 3 times a day.

Feedtimes need to be a happy and stressfree time for both of you. Let him have his milk if that is what he wants and get him onto the food in his own time.

I certainly have never heard the 3 hours between milk/ food. My DS feed goes something like this.

7am - milk
7.30 - breakfast
11.00 - milk and lunch
2- 2.30 - milk
5.30 - milk
6.00 - supper
10pm - milk (dropping this one soon)

I offer milk first everytime, the food is still more of a top up and taste/ texture intro rather than his main sustenance.

I hope this helps.

Lord, bumbly, your hv is full of rules. As Lulumama says, we don't apply those kinds of rules to ourselves... Take it easy, give him his milk, and concentrate on making mealtimes fun again. And don't be so hard on yourself - you're doing a great job.

i think you, bumbly, are doing your best, your baby is doing what babies do, and your HV is undermining you at every turn with her 'guidance'.
listen to everyone on this thread, try to relax, this is not a test, it's just life. please try to enjoy it.

oh, it's aitch by the way. and i was never married to Hutchence.

thanks so much for advice everyone - but baby juts fell form bed last evening and life as taken a dip for the worse for me!

tried finger food - rice cakes and boy did he not like them

What happened, bumbly? Is he ok?

oh dear you do sound stressed out. your hv doesn't seem very helpful.

your baby needs milk milk and more milk. that's why he's loving the last feed, cos it's just milk. he doesn't need much food at all just now. try just giving him bits while you're eating. so rather than faffing with a breakfast for him just give him some toast to play with. same at dinner time, give him some veggies while you eat. no need for a big fuss and hassle. the picnic someone suggested would be great for example.

hope things get better for you soon.

but he might just not like rice cakes, that's all. i think they HONK!
what about some lovely soft fruit? a pear, yum, (don't peel it, just slice off a bumcheek)?
what did you have for dinner this evening, bumbly? what do you like to eat? (i bet it's what ds likes too, after all he had nine months of it in there )

Bumbly, my ds is 10m tomorrow and his schedule looks exactly like the one in Seona's post!

www.babyledweaning.com for good finger food ideas

ripe fruit is good, carrot or sweet potato chunks.....

bumbly, try not to take every little set back to heart, babies have ups and downs, same as us mummies!