How to stop extended nursing and wean 3.5 yea rild from boobs asap

Original poster

mum2boys1504 · 09/01/2023 13:30

mum2boys1504 · 09/01/2023 13:28

I have nursed my ds for 3.5 years ..I wasn't planning in nursing for so long but he is so stubborn and still obsessed with boobies. I have loved the relationship but I really need he'll with helping him wean in a kind , but affective and fast way. I am missing having my body and its affecting him still waking st night. He can sleep through he night but out of habit he boobs till the early hours . I want to do this one step at a time. So stop boobs then work on getting g him to stay in his bed. The main problem I have Is he gets in my bed and latches on about 5am and then boobs asleep till 7.15 am..I dont want to affect his sleep as he has preschool and I justvwant it to eb as painless and gently as I can bur asap. I'm feeling a little fed up and i really don't know how to move on without upsetting him x thank you

Sorry about spelling. I mean I want to stop asap but without causing upset or 5am wake up. Thanks to anyone for advice

OP posts:

tillytoodles1 · 09/01/2023 13:31

I know someone who put plasters over her nipples and said they were broken and didn't work anymore.

Babysharkdoodoodood · 09/01/2023 13:32

I went away for a week and left him with his dad.

Cruel but it worked

purplejungle · 09/01/2023 13:41

We liked the book Albie Ted

iRun2eatCake · 09/01/2023 14:01

Wear a bra or onsie in bed so he can't actually get to them.

Also, you need to realise he will be upset but quite honestly... he is 3.5yrs old... he needs to realise he can't have everything he wants and he is old enough to understand the word no.

PritiPatelsMaker · 10/01/2023 08:01

I'd start with the night feeds. Feeding a 3.5 yo at night can't be fun and he definitely doesn't need calories at night now. Have a look at this method, it's very gentle.

Other things that might help are getting your DP/DH to take him straight downstairs fir breakfast in the mornings whilst you have a doze shower and only BFing in one place, then just never sitting there.

Can he be tempted with other things if he's wanting to BF in the day? So would he accept diluted fruit juice or Hot Chocolate and CBeebies?

Martialisthebestpup · 10/01/2023 08:04

Tell him the milk is all gone. Wear clothes he can’t get into and let him have a cuddle from 5-7 but no milk. Offer a cup of cow’s milk at breakfast. Start at the weekend so you have a couple of days for him to adjust if his sleep is affected. You probably don’t have to taper at his age (to avoid mastitis), you’ll probably find you can just stop in one go.

ChaoticCrumble · 10/01/2023 08:06

I simply had to have a conversation with my almost four year old (which yes is a sign it went on too long!) - once we stopped everything went on as normal

Tinkeytonkoldfruit · 10/01/2023 08:09

I started with night weaning - we read this book together quite a bit, lots of of no at nights, made sure I wore bra top and they weren't easily accessible. There will likely be some tears to start with but she did settle with cuddles eventually. Be careful how you wean yourself off too, I know some people stop cold turkey and that can be challenging for the grown up too as it cause significant shifts in hormones and make you feel really blue.

www.amazon.co.uk/Nursies-When-the-Sun-Shines/dp/0615343570/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?adgrpid=49966492981&gclid=Cj0KCQiAtvSdBhD0ARIsAPf8oNlvpx2lIUaWS7hfvo2RCXihsSdfnwb8Huw5F5QXLcSXIZZOIFCOTl4aAjVfEALw_wcB&hvadid=259073553582&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=1007072&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=14997355013482693896&hvtargid=kwd-302096955115&hydadcr=20069_1779308&keywords=nursies+when+the+sun+shines&qid=1673338006&sr=8-1

YorkshireIndie · 10/01/2023 09:49

We did cold turkey at 2yrs. I had taken medication that could have damaged his teeth so I told him that no more mummy milk/Bobbie as I have taken medicine that would make him sick. I did not have a bath with him for a while or go to bed without a top and bra on that made it difficult to feed. Just kept reminding him and then after a couple of days he stopped asking. He liked to hold my breast when he is feeling upset as it comforts him or to be held in my arms like he was feeding
You have done an amazing job

purpledalmation · 10/01/2023 10:48

At that age I just used reasoning and said sometimes they are not available. Cut out daytime slowly and then edged the nighttime comfort feeding off

Original poster

mum2boys1504 · 10/01/2023 12:04

Thankyou I will have a look and get back 2 u . x

OP posts:

Original poster

mum2boys1504 · 10/01/2023 12:07

Wow would hope it could be that easy. Could try...think I need to take the emotion out of it x

OP posts:

Original poster

mum2boys1504 · 10/01/2023 12:09

YorkshireIndie · 10/01/2023 09:49

We did cold turkey at 2yrs. I had taken medication that could have damaged his teeth so I told him that no more mummy milk/Bobbie as I have taken medicine that would make him sick. I did not have a bath with him for a while or go to bed without a top and bra on that made it difficult to feed. Just kept reminding him and then after a couple of days he stopped asking. He liked to hold my breast when he is feeling upset as it comforts him or to be held in my arms like he was feeding
You have done an amazing job

Thank you. I feeling I've got to bite the bullet or he won't stop but in also very attached to breastfeeding and I pretty sure I won't have more babies.

OP posts:

MunsteadWood · 10/01/2023 12:48

I BF my DD until she was nearly 2.5. I carried on quite a while after I was ready to stop, just because I was so worried it was going to be a massive battle. But I was amazed that it was actually fine! I started by dropping all feeds during the day, which I found relatively easy by just keeping busy and distracting with other things. Bedtime was my biggest worry but I started saying to her that my milk was "nearly all gone", and kept saying that over a couple of weeks to give her a bit of warning. Then I started shifting around the order of the bedtime routine so instead of story - milk - bed she'd have milk first followed by story, to try to break the habit of milk just before sleep. And then one night I randomly decided to suggest that instead of milk we sang a song and danced. And she said ok! So we had a few weeks of dancing around singing heads shoulders knees and toes instead of feeding. And it was painless. So based on my experience I'd say the key is to a) gently give warning and b) find another activity to replace feeding with. And for my DD the song worked perfectly because feeding wasn't about nutrition, it was about closeness - so singing and dancing together was a much better substitute than a cup of cows milk would have been. Good luck!

Clarabellawilliamson · 10/01/2023 16:45

I did the 'nearly all gone' thing too, when it was 'all gone' it was fine. Getting rid of the dummy took longer- but with warning was also fine.

I really think the vast majority of the time these things are fine and painless. We worry about the worst possible scenario, but that doesn't always happen.

Well done for going on so long!

Original poster

mum2boys1504 · 11/01/2023 14:26

Thanks to all for responding. I'm gonna try my best hopwnits not to upsetting ans get to the point when breastfeeding is a nice memory...Still not sure what method to use haha

OP posts:

PritiPatelsMaker · 11/01/2023 17:02

Still not sure what method to use haha

You can always talk to a BFC on one of the BFing Helplines. They will help you to come up with a plan that should suit both you and LO

NerrSnerr · 11/01/2023 17:09

My son was a similar age and every night before bed for a few weeks I said 'you'll have to stop soon as you're a really big boy now' (or similar) and then one day he said ok and that was that. It took time but we got there without stress.