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Weaning

10mo DD refusing solids- please share positive stories?

11 replies

FolkloreEvermore · 18/11/2022 18:42

My LO was weaning quite happily and we’d got her to two “meals” a day at about 8 months old. Some purée which was spoon fed and some finger foods. She’s never had a huge appetite but we definitely going the right way. No gagging issues, quite happy to eat whatever offered.
then she had a cold and has since clamped her mouth shut. She wont be spoon fed, and will only feed herself. Fine, trying lots of different things which she often is happy to try.
But she never eats anything of volume. Today it’s been a bite of toast, a bite of a broccoli scone, two sweet potato wedges, a rusk. Certainly her main food is still breast milk.
she seems to embrace a new idea, like feeding straight from the pouch, and then goes off it within a day or two.
she will drink from a water cup and seems to have no issue bringing food to her mouth so I’m not too concerned about motor issues…
I’m just looking for other stories and positivity really. I’m absolutely exhausted being her only food source. She feeds to sleep and I cant/won’t sleep train her as she’s hysterical and vomits. Thinking about trying to change sleep associations towards rocking instead of feeding but I was hoping we would go the other way- she’d be full from all her yummy food in the day and lose as much need for milk naturally…
I just want a light at the end of the tunnel. will she just one day be interested in food? Stories welcomed.

I’m feeling super delicate so I would like to avoid too much negativity here. She’s having a referal to a paediatrician who can hopefully identify if it’s a bigger issue I’m missing…

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00kitty · 18/11/2022 20:16

I feel what you are going through and have had the same issue with food with my 14 month dd, started off great and probably around 8-9 months started refusing everything, I ended up cutting out lunch completely as was just stressful for us both, until one day we were having a picnic and she decided to pinch my sandwich! So I then started doing lunch again. She is still up and down now, has an awful cold at the moment and off her food but when she’s well she generally eats very well at breakfast (cereal, Aldi coconut yogurt, banana) lunch is usually a write off she will pick at sweetcorn, breadsticks and raisins and refuse anything else. Dinner usually goes the same way tonight we had a vegetable packed mild chilli - refused, so heated a ready made bolognese- wouldn’t even try it and only ate sweetcorn a tiny amount of grated cheese and a plain warmed rice pudding. I follow startingsolidswithsunny on Instagram and she posts some great ideas but mainly refused by my LO

one day she will gollop an on letter down then never touch one again!

similar to you I’m still breastfeeding she has always refused a bottle, she will take the tiniest amount of oat milk off others when I’m working.

not at all concerned about her growth and she looks really healthy and has milk rolls and a chubby chin so not underweight but I am wondering whether to call HV as it makes me feel so anxious thinking about any mealtime

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PritiPatelsMaker · 23/11/2022 07:53

I think you have two issues going on there @FolkloreEvermore. One is lack of sleep and the other is that she doesn't associate eating solid food with satisfying her hunger.

For the sleep it's perfectly normal baby sleep for a 10 month old to wake in the night to feed so it's not unusual. Have a read of this on Normal Infant Sleep.

That doesn't mean that you can't do anything about it though.

Once she's 12 months you can try some gentle night weaning.

We had some success at that age with the No Cry Sleep Solution.

As for the not eating much in the day, again that's normal at this age, although it can be frustrating for you. If you look through the MN archive there's lots of threads on BF babies just not getting that they can eat solid food to fill them up just yet.

If you've got a DP/DH get them to take her down for breakfast instead of the first BF and if they're off at the weekend send them out together. Things like the library and feeding the ducks followed by a cafe will give her an opportunity to eat and will give you a break when you can sleep do something without her.

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FolkloreEvermore · 23/11/2022 08:03

Thank you @00kitty good to know I’m not alone.

@PritiPatelsMaker this is so helpful thank you. To be honest the night wakings don’t bother me so much if I didn’t think she was then loading up on calories and eating less in the day! I will have a spy at the No Cry Method thank you!

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mdh2020 · 23/11/2022 08:45

I had a friend whose son wouldn’t eat solids so she just kept giving him baby food but insisted that he sat at the table with everyone else everyday. Eventually - admittedly he was three - he just started eating normal food.

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AgathaMystery · 23/11/2022 08:49

Oh OP she is so little still! Food before one is just for fun…. My DC were absolutely uninterested in food until about 16-18m old. They BF a lot and I might weaned them (gently) at 8-9m of age as I returned to work. I BF them until they were 30m old which was fine as it was just bedtime by that point.

you’ve had some great advice on this already. You’re doing a great job.

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FolkloreEvermore · 23/11/2022 19:32

@mdh2020 wow 3! I’m hoping this won’t continue that long. Admittedly she’s not even eating baby food now though. Seems like she’s on a very minimal version of baby led weaning! But it’s really positive that eventually he just ate.
@AgathaMystery thank you for your kind message, you are right she is so young. I think I just worry about any long term impact, but you are right, she will get there.

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BertieBotts · 23/11/2022 19:52

Please don't worry, this is incredibly common!

We tend to have this idea that their food intake is supposed to be static all the time and never change (or slowly increase as they get older) but actually that's not really right, it tends to fluctuate, sometimes quite a lot - it can be really hard to gain an idea of what's right/normal because there is such incredible variation, some babies/toddlers seem to exist on a couple of puffs, a bit of leaf they found at the park and air. And others are inhaling three weetabix for breakfast and still demanding a banana. Most are somewhere in the middle, but rest assured that there is a quite astoundingly wide range of what is normal, and it can change even for the same child from one month to the next.

Don't worry. It all passes through. Volume eaten does not correlate with growth or development or sleep or any of it. As long as you are not restricting food (and they don't have dietary restrictions/sensory issues) they do not starve themselves. Sometimes they need more, and sometimes they need less. I have three children and they have spanned the entire range. My eldest completely refused food except for a bite or two a day between the ages of 9 months and 22 months. Of course I worried about it, I kept getting told to cut down breastfeeding, I received all sorts of stupid unhelpful advice actually, and in hindsight I think he was just reacting to the one thing in life he could control, that or perhaps he just wasn't very interested in food. He is now 14 and still eats very little. Of course, he's having a teenage growth spurt so that balances things out and he eats basically a normal amount, but he is never going to be overweight, put it that way!

Children around one year old often drastically reduce their food intake. Their growth slows significantly at this age, so partially, they simply don't need as many calories. They are often distracted by other things, such as learning to walk or talk or other developmental milestones. They are getting molars, which can really change the feeling in their mouth as well as make them feel ropey. This time of year is also shit for viruses, particularly this year, we're still feeling the impact of the lockdowns so there are more viruses about then normal. There's even a theory that it's a kind of protective thing, that toddlers who are just becoming independently mobile often become fussier in order to protect them from ingesting poisonous berries etc back in hunter-gatherer days. I don't know if it's true but I liked reading it at the time!

Children who are breastfed sometimes don't change over to food being the bulk of their calories until closer to their second birthday. IME trying to cut down prematurely doesn't actually help them eat more and is likely to stress you both out. Their growth doesn't suffer if they stay on majority breastmilk so you can just carry on with it. It is annoying, but IME even the ones who go straight onto food before a year and only breastfeed morning and evening (DS2) still wake at night anyway, actually DS1 slept better at night than DS2 between age 12-24 months, so from that perspective, it doesn't matter anyway.

A book that was recommended to me at the time was Carlos Gonzales' My Child Won't Eat. It was out of print then so I never got hold of a copy but apparently it is good. For more up to date resources I like Kids Eat In Color on instagram - a voice of sanity among all the competitive instamums. Their guide to things like portion size and how to count vegetables are really reassuring.

Don't worry. Keep breastfeeding. Keep offering food. Your toddler will eat. I promise. Trust them. You're doing a great job.

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BertieBotts · 23/11/2022 19:56

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AgathaMystery · 23/11/2022 21:02

@BertieBotts what a lovely message!!

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FolkloreEvermore · 24/11/2022 12:00

@BertieBotts this is such a kind message, thank you! I’ll have a look at what you’ve recommended and try to stay positive.

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zeromanghoul · 19/12/2022 19:52

@BertieBotts I really needed to read this. Thank you Xmas Smile

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