Try not to worry, it's totally fine to go at her pace, not all babies are chowing down on huge plates of food at 10mo and you haven't done anything wrong.
IME quite a lot of babies struggle with the lumpy puree stage, you could just skip it? If she's doing a bit of finger food and a bit of spoon feeding, then don't bother with lumpy jars, if you need some ready made food, try the Hipp trays for 12m+ as these have more of a texture of real food, or just roughly mash up some of your food or try offering her bits of your own meals e.g. chicken with white sauce and rice - mix some sauce into the rice and try that, shred the chicken into little strands using a fork and try that, or something like shepherd's pie that can all get mushed into the potato, mine have loved that kind of thing at this age (but DS3 struggles with the texture of rice recently). You can also keep feeding smoother purees alongside the mashed food and finger foods.
Does she have a good pincer grip (can pick up individual raisins, or peas, or cheerios between thumb and finger and eat them?) I think this is quite key to them being able to handle smaller pieces and if she doesn't have much of a pincer grip yet, I would give her lots of opportunity to practice this (interspersed with smoother purees or chunkier finger foods, so she doesn't get frustrated.)
The idea that the baby's reflexes change and you "can't" do baby led weaning after a certain age is totally made up, take everything you read in groups like that with a massive pinch of salt unless it's actually backed up somewhere that is not facebook.