10mo stopped picking up finger food

[WobbleHead]

I think I’ve encouraged my 10 month old DS to be lazy. He used to pick the odd bit of finger food up and bring it to his mouth but he stopped doing it weeks ago.

I currently spoon feed him everything, or hold bits up to his mouth to bite.

I’ve tried making extra delicious things I know he loves for finger food - cheesy omelette fingers, cheesy muffins, cheese on toast (sense a theme…?), banana muffins, frittata, pancake strips with a bit of maple syrup on them even… and all the usual veg (broccoli - with and without a cheese sauce coating, baked sweet potato, butternut squash, etc etc) and fruit.

I cave too quickly, I know. I will leave him for a few minutes at the beginning of meals (or the end - tried both) with finger food on his tray and no help - but once he starts picking it up and just throwing it on the floor I swoop in and start holding bits up to his lips and then he will happily chomp bites off. Then I just end up feeding him
homemade purées and yoghurt etc. as well.

I always try to eat something with him and model bringing food to my mouth, with eye contact, lots of smiles and yummy noises. No dice.

A couple of weeks ago we were on a picnic rug with another baby who was munching some veg crisps and he brought one to his mouth when watching her. So I’ve tried to vary places we offer finger food for the novelty factor, and asked local mum friends if DS could come and watch their babies eat - still organising that one.

What am I missing? Am I going to be feeding him with a spoon when he’s in his 20s??? He’s off to nursery in a couple of months and I really want him to be able to feed himself a bit by then.

Some more info:

He eats quite a lot and drinks about 500ml
of milk a day.

this is what he EATS but much more is offered when it comes to finger food as well, which is just thrown or nibbled when I hold for him:

breakfast example - 3/4 of a weetabix with formula milk plus half a banana plus a scrambled egg plus a strawberry

Lunch - half an avocado, a little pot of home made purée with meat and veg (Karmel recipes), a couple of heaped tablespoons of Greek yoghurt, some mashed banana and raspberries

Dinner - a pot of veg and lentil purée with melted cheese mixed in, half a sardine fillet mashed with cream cheese, more Greek yoghurt, an Ella fruit pouch

Because he eats a lot, I’m worried if I go tough and just don’t spoon feed him for a whole meal he will just go hungry.

I feel like you are over worrying. Just sit and eat your meal together, no need to try and cajole him etc. Eat yours, if he throws his then he doesn’t want it and try again at the next meal. He won’t go hungry as most of his nutrients should still be coming from his milk at the moment. Have you tried giving him a spoon to feed himself?

That is also a lot of food that he is eating, it sounds like he is eating it because it is being fed to him and not because he is hungry.

I also think you are over worrying this a bit, 10 months is still little. It could just be a personality thing. I have 2 DC, DC1 just loved being spoon fed and wasn't overly bothered about self feeding for ages. DC2 hated being spoon fed and self fed much earlier.

A lot can change in a couple of months, but anyway nursery will spoon feed children that can't/won't feed themselves when they start and will also encourage self feeding. So don't worry about that. And DC will have the opportunity to watch other babies eating there.

A couple of weeks ago we were on a picnic rug with another baby who was munching some veg crisps and he brought one to his mouth when watching her. So I’ve tried to vary places we offer finger food for the novelty factor, and asked local mum friends if DS could come and watch their babies eat - still organising that one

Honestly I'd just try to step back from what other babies are doing, I know from experience that you will just drive yourself mad comparing and DC will do it when he is good and ready. Just enjoy mealtimes with your LO and spoon feed him if he wants it, they're not little for very long!

How do I know if I’m over feeding him? He looks quite lean compared to other babies in our NCT group. And believe me if he doesn’t want to eat something, he does not!!

My DC liked having a damp flannel to hand at that age, didn't like the feeling if it on her hands

He doesn't need jive meals atm. Food is just about learning atm. Kindly re the arranging meet ups for him to watch babies eating - you're going to look back on that in a few years and think wtf. You're worried he's not feeling but that's a lot of spoon fed meals he's having so he's unlikely he'll ever be especially hungry so less motivated to pick up food try sole finger food meals - no purée, weetabix etc unless you're prepared to let them get stuck in and make a mess. You definitely won't be spoon feeding him at 20 though. This isn't a particular milestone they need to reach pre 1. He can do it after all but doesn't need to.

I'm not even sure you can overfeed them at that age. Mostly they will simply refuse to eat any more. If he really overate he'd just be sick.

And comparing body shape tells you nothing of worth - some babies are just chubby with the big squidgy rolls of fat, others aren't! Mine were always long and slender.

I was told - food under one is just for fun.

The aim is NOT to worry about how much they are eating as they still have milk for calories, but to establish the concept and enjoyment of eating.

You must stop offering the food, cajoling, all of it. You acknowledge that you cave - so stop caving.

Offer the food, eat your own, talk about how delicious it is (not excessively, just the odd comment), if they don;t eat anything put the food away. Offer something from the cupboard/fridge occasionally (e.g. a strawberry) and if they don't take one, take one yourself to eat and put the rest away. If they suggest they want one, offer again. Basically treat them as though they can do it - if an adult didn;t take a biscuit you wouldn't say 'ooh, go on, take one, try it, pick it up, here I'll hold it for you'.

As long as he's tracking his weight and height centiles, I'd just assume he's not hungry if he's throwing food on the floor.

I'd offer the food, ie put it on his tray, and just get on with eating your food and blithely ignore any protests.

Also agree that you'll look back at these PFB moments like arranging meet-ups so he can watch other babies eat with a mix of hilarity and embarrassment, probably

Well he’s having a nice time meeting and playing with his buddies too… not sure what I’m meant to be embarrassed about 😊