DESPERATE. Tried & tested tips for fussy eaters?

[kittenclvy]

My nearly 20 month old is extremely fussy with food, to the point I'd say he has aversions to pretty much anything new. He won't eat any vegetables (even if they're hidden in food), pasta, cereal, anything in a sauce, egg, cheese. I'm going out of my mind. I put new foods on his plate everyday to help with exposure but it doesn't work, I've been doing this for 8 months. Have tried limiting snacks, not offering alternatives, eating as a family. His diet just seems to get more limited. I follow all of the big fussy eating Instagram accounts (solid starts etc).

He's small for his age and is still in 12-18 month clothes, 18-24 month clothes literally fall down. GP is not interested. Please help! Has anyone been in the same boat?

I feel like a failure.

A VERY stressed mum x

What does he see you eat? Do you eat together? Is he talking yet?

Are you putting the same new foods down several days in a row?

(my DD was never in the right age clothes until she was about 6. Now at 11 she’s in 12-13 for the height).

Do you think he knows you are stressed about it ? It's really important to act as though you arnt bothered either way if he eats it because you can make things very much worse by making a big deal out of it. I would just put a little bowl of things nearby and leave him to it for a bit and see what happens. Also is he filling up on milk. You may need to cut the milk out for a bit to increase his appetite if so.

@OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide he sees me eat pretty much everything I eat! We always have lunch together and usually dinner, I always try to serve him a bit of what I am having alongside safe foods.

Sometimes I try and introduce the same new foods a couple of days in a row and other times it's more varied, neither seems to make a difference. He will pick new things up and just gag straight away.

@OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide and he's he's talking a little. I always try and point each food out and tell him what it is and show him how I eat it and make a deal of how nice it is, lots of "mmmm" sounds and "yummy".

@jammiewhammie65 I don't think he does sense my stress, I really do try not to give too much reaction to him whether he eats or not. He only has milk in the evening immediately before bed, he only has water or maybe squash during the day and definitely isn't filling up on it. I try grazing plates all the time with a mixture of safe and new foods, he will only ever go for the safe foods.

It can take up to 17 attempts to get a child to accept a new food so please stop worrying. Keep offering and leave it up to him whether he wants to eat them or not. Always add something you know he likes so at least he is eating something. Its not you, its him. You are providing food, that's where your job ends. If the GP isn't worried, I would try to stop worrying too.
I had a very fussy eater too. Trust me, they generally do grow out of it. He's now 19 and now eats almost everything (although he vehemently denies he has previously been a fussy eater 😂).

@TeeBee thanks for replying. I've heard that stat a lot too, but it's been 8 months since he's eaten a new food and I'm certain I've offered him a lot of food many more than 17 times. I can't even get past a telephone consultation with the GP, they've never seen him in person. It doesn't seem to matter how much I express my concerns. I just feel at my wits end, I feel like an absolute failure when I meet with my friends and their toddlers and they're all eating well and my child just gags and screams if he's served anything other than chicken nuggets swimming in ketchup. I just don't understand where I've gone wrong, I'm honestly losing sleep over this and I have been for months.

You haven't done anything wrong!!! Every child is different. My first gagged on everything and had a problem with textures. My second would literally eat anything (including munching on my dining table and rabbit poo from a field). I didn't wean them any differently; one just took longer. My difficult eater is now 6 foot 3, naturally slim and eats like a camel. My little one not so tall and a bit chunkier. Both eat perfectly well and healthily.
If its a texture issue, have you tried one of those fresh feeder bags...they make every food mushy. Sorry if you've already tried it.

...I used to read the Annabelle Karmel weaning book with my first and was horrified that he seemed nowhere near where he should have been according to that book. My second child would have eaten the book :-D

I haven't got any answers for you, but I just wanted to reply and say I understand and I'm very very sympathetic. It's easy to say don't worry, he'll be fine, chill out ect, but it's only natural and right to worry and stress as his mother. It shows you care and want to do your best for him. Hugs to you.

I have many neices and nephews (being the youngest of a big family where all my siblings have children) and watched the parents struggle with getting them to eat... So when I fell pregnant it was one thing I was GOING TO DO RIGHT. I read into Baby Led Weaning and thought I had the golden answer. All I can say is I didn't...

I have a 15 month old and she doesn't swallow a single vegetable (apart from olives?! Which give her terrible stomach ache so I don't give them to her) and maybe three peas (if I'm lucky).

She's full of energy, on the 95th per centile and I just make sure I offer her some veg at every meal time in the hopes one day, one day when the sun is shining VERY brightly, that she'll eat it! I know you've expressed worries about your son's weight and I'm not in that boat with you but even if he did eat all his veg and other foods apart from the limited ones he will eat, you might find he would still be a smaller child. My sister's little girl is exactly the same age as mine (5days different) and she eats DOUBLE what mine does and all the veg u can think of and she's nearly half the weight of mine. Also, she is the daughter of the same parents who had serious struggles with their two sons who I said I watched and who didn't eat anything.... And my sister hasn't done anything different with her.

Sorry this is a very muddled and waffly post but I hope it gives you some comfort. You are doing great.

Honestly? Feed him what you know he likes to eat. DS1 was a very fussy eater despite being offered a huge variety of foods.

DS1 will now at 16 eat pretty much anything and is very tall and lean.

Over the years we just expanded his diet where we could, but most importantly didn't get too stressed about it.

At one stage I think pretty much all he would eat were cheese strings and mini pizzas!

I would say emphasising ‘yummy’ etc is pressure. There is an unstated aim in there. I think the message seems to be that you choose what’s on the plate and your little one chooses to eat what they eat.

Can you give us a better idea about what your little one will eat? How limited is limited?

And then if you are really worried, I would suggest finding a private paediatric dietician. The NHS can’t provide a good service right now unfortunately.

In the past I’d have recommended the book “‘My Child Won’t Eat”. It doesn’t make kids eat, but it does take away the anxiety from the situation.

I now have a 2.5 year old non-verbal autistic nephew and food is an absolute nightmare. There were other indicators, but food has been a significant issue for him.

So my advice would differ based on whether there are other concerns.