Advice on BLW

[RedHerring24]

I posted a little while ago when I first started weaning DD as she has CMPA and reflux and needed advice on suitable foods that wouldnt induce projectile vomiting!

We have been trying since she turned 6 months and I dont think I have achieved anything.
I started with fruit and veg purees which she outright refused. She would try a tiny bit but just refuses to be spoon fed. She will happilyplay with a spoon, so long as it doesnt have food on it.
Alongside the purees I have offered finger sized portions which she has more interest in. She will pick bits up and taste them but the majority is spat out or dropped on the floor. Which I am fully expecting.

I reached out to our HV the other week for advice as I feel im struggling with her and her response was,
'She clearly doesnt want spoon feeding, just do BLW, research it online'.
Which I have done.

But i feel absolutely overwhelmed.
I dont know what I should be giving her and when.
Currently for breakfast she will have toast with cheese spread, butter or marmite with fruit chunks.
Ive tried porridge but she wont eat it from a spoon or her fingers.
Lunch ive tried finger foods including veg, fruit, an omelette, more toast, purees or mashed fruit and veg.
But thats as far as I have got.
She loves those Ellas kitchen melty puffs and would happily live off of them but what do I give her?

Everyone says just give her what youre having which is fine.
But im really conscious of choking. She will stuff food and just sit with her mouth open as she doesnt know what to do with it.
I honestly feel a bit lost and not supported by the HV.
Anyone have any advice at all?

Does she swallow anything at all? It might be hard to tell from watching her eat but the nappies should show you.

Have you done a paediatric first aid course? That will help with the choking fears.

As for the food, we really did just give them what we were having. The only small changes we made were adults adding their salt and chilli at the table, no honey (I swapped to maple syrup if essential in a recipe), and making sure any nuts in dishes were chopped up very small. If they were awake when we were eating then they got a bit, if they were sleeping then they missed out until they reached an age where their milk had reduced and they needed the food. At that point I just put them a bit aside for later.

@PritiPatelsMaker the only thing she has really swallowed is toast and even then its literally tiny amounts. She did have a bit of banana and mango. I know that went in as she gagged on something and threw up chunks of it.
Otherwise her nappies have remained exactly the same. Sometimes a bit thicker but she is on Gaviscon and some days it causes a touch of constipation.

@SkankingWombat at the moment she isnt awake for our dinner times. DH doesnt akways get home from work til 7pm some we settle DD for bed then eat after. This will change soon though and we will bring dinners forward.
We eat a reasonable amount of spicy food, lots of rice and pasta. Would you have offered this? Id happily make her a version of our curries but in a mild form but just worried that it could be a bad idea.
And yes to the first aid course. Im just hoping id never need to use the skills!

You don't need to give 3 meals a day at this point. Is she awake when you eat your breakfast and lunch? When she's ready to go to 3 meals, if she needs hers earlier then save a portion of yours from the day before and just reheat.

Yes, ours had curry, rice and pasta from the get-go. If fact if we were having soup, I would cook a bit of pasta for DCs and use it as a sauce so DC could pick it up rather than trying to weald a spoon. The only spices I left out of curries was chilli and hot smoked paprika, and instead DH and I either added hot sauce at the table to pep it up a bit, or took DC's portion out then stirred hot sauce/chilli into the curry. We started slowly adding chilli once they were toddlers and built it up a bit at a time from there. They are 6 and 8yo now and will eat a medium-spiced curry based on takeaway heat levels. Other non-spicy spices were never an issue, in fact one of my go-tos when for whatever reason they weren't having the same as us was chunky fridge-ends of veg tossed in oil and whichever spice was at the front of the cupboard, then grilled or baked until cooked. It could be cumin, mixed herbs, garam masala, 5 spice etc depending on what my hand came to first. We always popped the meal in front of them and let them get on with it whilst we ate theirs: no pressure, and in fact almost more of a social thing. It didn't matter if they didn't try and eat anything (although that was very rare!), and we never forced or cajoled, just modelled with eating our own whilst chatting about other things.
Some people seem to feel babies need bland food, but that definitely hasn't been our experience. If you eat those sorts of things normally, I'm sure I remember reading that babies will have already experienced a lot of the flavours both during pregnancy and through your breast milk, so it won't be a shock to them.

Ok so if she's not swallowing much, how old is she?

And if she has CMPA is she under a Paediatric Dietician?

Follow solid starts, learn what a real choke looks like and what to do and otherwise just go with the flow. The more anxious you are the more baby will tell. They are learning, consuming isn't the ultimate goal but learning to manipulate food. Try widening out from where you are, I.e vary the things you give on toast (nut butters are great). Good luck!

There’s a great website here - www.babyledweaning.com with information and recipes.

When I did BLW with my son I was told to expect that he wouldn’t eat/swallow much between age 6-9months old, and that he’d probably rely on milk to get everything he needed until about 12 months old. You haven’t said how old yours is but it sounds like a totally normal part of the journey to me.

it’s really a big learning curve for babies - practising holding, tasting, licking, swallowing, spitting out, overcoming the gag reflex - before any food actually gets to their stomach or nappy. it takes something like 20-30 tries for babies to get used to a new taste so it’s normal for them to spit things out a lot.

For parents it’s a lesson in going with the flow and embracing the mess! Don’t sweat it - literally let your baby explore what you’re eating (minus the salt) and learn at their pace.

The BLW book explains why it’s better for choking risk than giving purées - something like the order the baby learns to chew then swallow is backwards with purées, so there’s a higher risk of things slipping down before they’ve learned to control their tongues. Make sure they’re sitting up and strapped into a high chair. It’s normal for them to gag, it doesn’t mean they’re choking - the book explains about this too.

This is ‘the’ book - www.amazon.co.uk/Baby-led-Weaning-Helping-Your-Baby/dp/0091923808

Seconding the solid starts website.

It doesn't matter how much is swallowed, milk is always there for nutrition.
Let your little one play with the food, taste it, throw it around (ok, not too much throwing but it's OK!). Let food be fun and without pressure.
Babies learn how much to put in their mouth and now to move it around. They may cough a bit but as long as you prepare in the right sizes and are there too then it's OK!

You don’t say how old your baby is but food before one is just for fun.

she should be getting all her calories and nutrition from milk (BM or formula) but your paediatric dietician should be advising this too.

finger food is fine. Truly. She is exploring not eating. As for things like Chilli and spices - I just used exactly what I would. My DC ate spicy food from the start with us - babies love flavour!

Weaned a CMPA baby and a spoon refusing one.

First off - look on YouTube for the videos on baby gagging vs choking and what to do. That will help you differentiate between the two and know what to do.

Then don't over think it. Weaning is a process. Over the next 6 months or so baby will slowly eat more and start to drop milk. Some babies do this quickly, some take longer. It's all ok.

Some will eat loads of types of food, some just stick to toast, some have pouches, some beautiful home cooked meals - they all reach one and refuse to eat anything that isn't beige lol.

Because of my son's CMPA and reflux issues he was spoon fed with baby rice (dietician recommended before I get a pile on, he was also only 4 months old) and lots of Ella's kitchen pouches - loved the things. Our dietician was a fan of marmite and peanut butter on toast for them so crack on with that.

For my daughter who hated spoon feeding (ugh I really didn't want to blw) we did;

Toast with marmite or peanut butter (I only use brown bread)
Premade pancakes
Steamed veggies
Omelets
Ham
Fruit bits
Easy to grab pasta
Sandwiches
Humous
Boiled eggs
Cucumber (her first food actually, stole it from me at 5.5 months)
Later on bits of our dinner

Don't be scared of spice. In some parts of the world babies are raised on much spicer food.

Don't add salt to your cooking, no blue cheese, no whole nuts and no honey, but other than that don't stress.

WOW, thank you everyone for replying!
I didn't realise I hadn't said how old DD is! She is 7months so still very new to weaning.

@SkankingWombat your reply is so helpful, thank you! Currently I try to have breakfast and lunch with DD. Sometimes lunches are difficult due to the time she naps but I do try and sit with her. It's not easy getting DH involved at mealtimes as he leaves the house before DD wakes and is home just in time to put her to bed. When he works from home he normally has meetings right over the time DD will eat but I will persevere and make more of an effort with meal times together.

Thank you for your comments about how you fed your children, I have found that very reassuring.

@PritiPatelsMaker we aren't under a dietician. The GP 'presumed' it was CMPA based on her initial symptoms but she responded only when we were given Omeprazole by a paediatrician for reflux. They didnt feel a referral would be of benefit unless we struggled with reactions during weaning. Which to be fair we havent. She did have a rash after we tried a tiny amount of dairy. So instead, we have looked into the milk ladder and will follow that. Our GP has actually been useless all the way through.

@Perfect28 I was recently put in the direction of the Solid Starts app and Insta account so have started following them. I have used their app to help me prepare foods into the right size portions which has been helpful. I have also looked at their choking/gagging section.

@Heroicallyl0st thank you for your advice on the website and book. I will take a look at both of those later on.

@Twizbe thank you for your advice as well. There are some good suggestions there for food as well. I always struggle with lunches for myself so thinking of what to feed DD as well is hard work! Some days I am terrible and will literally eat cereal (I know I know) but when not on maternity leave I have a really busy job where quite often lunch breaks just do not happen!

Thank you all, I feel reassured. I will crack this weaning lark and I wont sit in front of DD looking terrified (even though she did stick an entire toast finger in her mouth yesterday and sit like it for 10mins while clapping in her chair!)

If your GP is useless, it might be worth reading the NICE Guidelines

My phone has just corrected that to Naice Guidelines. How very MN

Food before one isn’t just for fun, from 6 months they need food as well as milk.

milk is still their main drink, but they need food too.

might sound like a silly question but what type of spoon do you use? My baby has a silicone one, when it broke and we used a hard plastic one he hated it, so that could be part of it if you’re using a hard spoon x

Things my son loved at that age were sweet potato slices, banana and avacado. Also scrambled eggs with cheese, tomato and spinach mixed in, I'd just plonk it on his high chair tray and let him pick away at it. Oh and cheerios of course, always a winner!

Some good advice here. @RedHerring24 as you grow in confidence you can even start to look at family meals and adapt for baby. Check out my Instagram MummyCooks lots of family-style recipes to include baby in. You will be doing great in no time. I believe it's as much about the psychology of food as it is about the food itself. Less stress and more fun at meal times is the key. You are doing great keep it up