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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Original poster

my mom just told me...

40 replies

bumbly · 12/01/2008 10:25

that my lo has a too messy face when eating

thought was being nice by sending a recent photo of him eating first solids

i have been clueless about so many things but the one thing i thought i knew was that babies when first weaning make a huge mess

my little one just simply loves to grab spoon and smear food all over face and bib etc

so am pretty angry and down now as as usual been told am a useless mum

apparently i made no mess and ate everything from spoon into mouth nothing coming out!!

OP posts:
NatalieJane · 12/01/2008 10:27

Ignore her, babies make mess, never seen a baby eat without making a mess.

Keep taking the pictures, the best pictures we have of DS1 when he was tiny was of spag bol all round his chops, and bib, and top, and hair, and nose, and highchair, and floor..... well you get the picture

Monkeytrousers · 12/01/2008 10:28

oh just tell her to eff off

NoBiggy · 12/01/2008 10:28

No more photos for her then.

Original poster
bumbly · 12/01/2008 10:30

exactly no more photoes

ruined my saturday

OP posts:
LIZS · 12/01/2008 10:31

What a load of bollx ! All babies are messy eaters and will continue to be so well into toddlerhood. Sounds like she has a mistyeyed memory of what it was really like. IGNORE

charliemama · 12/01/2008 10:32

I always got the impression from Tanya Byron that children who have issues with food sometimes have them in part because they are not allowed to make a mess whilst eating. It is to do with being comfortable with food and the different textures.
My children are allowed to make as much mess as they want (within reason as they are getting older now). Life's too short to worry about a bit of mess at food time and it is all easy to clean up (especially if you have a dog to hoover up the bits on the floor!!).

charliemama · 12/01/2008 10:33

PS DS1 used to love making finger pictures with his yoghurt on the table.

BettySpaghetti · 12/01/2008 10:37

Just ignore her, in the nicest possible way.

The thing is mums/MIL etc have rose-tinted specs when it comes to raising babies and children.

As time goes on you'll hear other gems such a " X slept through from 2 weeks old " , " Y was potty trained by 9 months" and "Z could speak full sentences in 2 languages by the time they were 14 months" etc etc

LIZS · 12/01/2008 10:46

Thinking about it more I think you are going to have to be blunt about how such comments may you feel adn udenrmine your confidence. I fear this isn't the first time she has burst your bubble and won't be the last Otherwise you are in for a lifetime of misery everytime she makes such glib comments.

Just along the lines of "I had really hoped you'd be able to share our delight at his development and see past the inevitable mess. If you can't I'd rather you didn't make such a comment at all. " then don't bother to send pics in future. You don't need the stress of worrying about what she might think.

colditz · 12/01/2008 10:57

My mother has said to her friend, about my own Ds1 "Oh he was walking at 10 months, though, so we always knew he was forward"

Er, no. He walked at 14 months.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 12/01/2008 10:59

Oh their memories fade as time passes....bless them

My parents HATE seeing my two messy from food. I dont have aproblem with mess as long as they arent 'playing' to make mess iyswim?

itsahardknocklife · 12/01/2008 11:13

I agree with charliemama - they need to make a mess and experiement - it's part of learning and discovery. Cor, you should see the state my 14 month old gets in at meal times, not to mention the floor!

lulumama · 12/01/2008 11:16

one of my fave pictures of DS as a baby, was him covered from eyebrows to chin in avocado, when he tried to feed himself !

weaning, especially the first few months, is about taste, experimentation and getting to explore something new

mess and smearing is part of it

trying to keep your baby pristine is a good way to give them ishooos about food and cleanliness

your mum is giving you unnecessary worries, please ignore her, in the nicest possible way

justabouttosplashoutinthesales · 12/01/2008 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

charliemama · 12/01/2008 11:19

btw Bumbly don't feel bad I am on no. 3 and still feel completely clueless. The one lesson I have learnt is that no 2 children are the same and there are no 'rules' about bringing up children.

talktothebees · 12/01/2008 11:20

I'm a messy eater and I'm 35. What does your mum make of that?

My mum has the most honest attitude about this - she had 3 children under 4 at one point - our whole childhoods are a blur to her. My MIL however is a whole different story and I'm always a bit at some of her memories of her children's development. I'm going to be useing LISZ's line on her soon I think.

Having read some of your other posts, you sound like you're doing a marvellous job. Perhaps letting your mum know how negative she is being is a good idea. She probably doesn't realise.

kerala · 12/01/2008 11:27

Ridiculous! It would be odd if there were no mess (though my 17 month old managed to get hold of a smoked mackerel out of the fridge yesterday and rubbed in her HAIR - despite 2 baths she still smells like a rancid old fish)

itsahardknocklife · 12/01/2008 11:36

it's true, justabout isn't joking!

Kerala, what a hilarious but horrid thought!!

Just think, in 20 or 30 years we will be criticising the way our children are bringing up their own children.

My mum is always comparing my son to my sister's kids, who are now 21 and 22. I always get 'well we didn't have to turn the fire off when X was little' (no mum, you lived in a different house and didn't have a fire), 'we never had to move the ornaments when X and X were little' (no mum, I was 7 and had to take them to my room and entertain them). It's selective memory, I reckon.

IndigoMoon · 12/01/2008 11:40

my mom is deluded and constantly tells me how perfect me and my brother were as babies.

my son is a bit of a nightmare at times and i often hear.

" i dont know where he gets it from, you were no like that!"

i think she has just forgotten all the bad bits and maybe we all will too.

i must admit i consider dd to have been much easier compared to ds.

anyhoo babies make mess, ds (13 months) refuses to be fed and will only feed himself. i let him get on with it! stew last night was very popular!!! gravy and carrots in his hair but he enjoyed it

justabouttosplashoutinthesales · 12/01/2008 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 12/01/2008 14:11

DUH! Babies make a mess! DS1 looked so cute with his face covered in food that a magazine published it. She is a ????????

itsahardknocklife · 12/01/2008 14:14

Yeah my phone screensaver is a gorgeous picture of my little one covered in chocolate. (erm..I mean carrots and healthy things...)

tiktok · 12/01/2008 17:54

bumbly, I think that was a very nasty thing to say, actually. I would not be able to laugh it off if it was me....I would feel very angry. I would not feel useless, though, and in fact I would feel morally superior and better informed than her!

Tell her how rude, cruel and undermining she is being, or you will have this sort of reaction for a long time....

Time to stand up for yourself

robinredbreast · 12/01/2008 18:20

agree with tiktok and liz
it was totally unessarcery to say that to you, i know how you feel as this is exactly the sort of thing my mum would say to me

agree it would be best to at least let her know how shit this has made you feel, maybe doent realise how rude she is

Pruners · 12/01/2008 18:37

Message withdrawn