Next step after exclusive bf, what milk to use, bottle/cup etc? Help please!!

[Flllightattendant]

Help me sort this one out please! I've been bfing for 7 months and started weaning in a vague sort of way, he seems to want big brother's bottle and I'd like to take something out to town with us, in case he's hungry/thirsty...

So...

Do I take a bottle with teat (fast/slow?) or bottle with sucky top bit, or cup with lid etc.

What kind of milk do I introduce? Ordinary cows, or formula (I have some sample packets from bounty pack) or get some goats milk, or what?

I do wish to carry on BF as main thing for another few months at least and continue with it well beyond a year as an adjunct. So I don't want to put him into a spin over teats/nipples etc.

Thanks in advance

Please?

I have to go out soon so would be really grateful.

i started offering cows milk at this age, but it was all spat out until dd was one and started drinking what was left in her cereal bowl! when i stopped breastfeeding totally at about 15 months she slowly started drinking the milk ar bedtime from one of the tommee tippee cups shown at [http://www.tommeetippee.co.uk/department/cup_drinking/page/2/ top] of the page. I used this cup as dd had watched her older cousins using the same style and it encouraged her to drink, so maybe something similar to your older childs would work.

i dont think nipple confusion is an issue at this age

cows milk isnt supposed to be a main drink until a year so if you want to give large quantities i think you have to use formula

Oh thanks Littleducks!

I will try him with some formula and see what happens - eczema in the family so I'm not sure if risking cows milk is a good idea. Though ds1 seems Ok.

Have you not had any success with expressing?

Hi FA,

I am slightly confused, will he not bf when you are out, or do you not like bfing in public? Or do you mean he wants to be like his older brother and have a bottle like he does?

I think at this stage you can give a little bit of cows' / goats' milk (e.g. with cereals etc.) but not as their main drink, so formula or ebm would be best. (I know Dr. Jack Newman says you can give a drink of homogenised milk from about six months as an addition to bf but I'm not sure about this from allergies etc. pov.)

If you want to use formula when you're out & about you can get little ready-made cartons, they're expensive but for occasional use a lot easier than taking a flask with boiling water & powder out with you.

Or you could try water while you are out and bf at home, maybe put a bit of apple juice in the water if he doesn't like it plain?

My ds has a few ounces of water after meals, more to get him used to a cup than anything. I used this which is a bit messy but fun and if it only has water in it's fine really. Ds is just now learning to hold it himself.

Thanks very much for the help, RtP. I hadn't thought of giving him water, I might try that - he didn't go for the formula yesterday (Hipp 'follow on milk') but was mildly interested in the bottle.

Vole, I tried expressing with ds1 and it wasn't successful - I only tried it as an experiment really and got about 2ml out and the next day my boobs went ballistic, so I decided as there was no need I wouldn't bother.

I do enjoy Bfing but I don't like having to find somewhere to do it in public - I have done my share of being stared at and so on, I don't like that aspect at all and can't really bear the attention. I also hate having to wait when he is thirsty till there is so much as a bench to sit on.
Yesterday I had to Bf him in town and it was really yuk as the 'baby room' in Boots stank of nappies and was filthy. We did it as quickly as poss and got out of there, back to the car.

Also there are times I need to leave him for an hour with my mum, and she would be glad to have something he would drink from.

Obviously the Bfing is such a great thing and I love it, but I was hoping to find an occasional alternative for when things are not so easy if that makes sense.

I like the Doidy cup, looked at those a while back - can you use that when baby is only 7 months?

a lot of formula taste pretty unimpressive from what I have read on here.

I would keep bfing and offer cow's milk in a cup (which many bf children refuse to drink).

as long as you are not replacing actual feeds with cow's milk there is no need to give formula. Your milk can provide the majority of his calories and nutrition until at least one year old.

In your position, I would offer a decent quality juice (diluted) instead of cow's milk and bf if he was actually hungry while out and about.

are you self concious to bf in public? I found that anywhere there is a chair, bench etc. I will feed. failing that, I go to a cafe and order a cuppa and sit at a table.

Thanks Kiski - where do you lot bf in town? I am sick of smelly rooms and can't really afford cafes, plus I still feel watched and vulnerable. (More about my state of mind atm than the actual reality of it) so where do you go?

FA sorry to hear you've had bad experiences of bfing in public. I suppose, if you drive, there's always the back up of going back to the car and bfing there, but it's not ideal I know.

At seven months have you started weaning? If so your ds could certainly go to your Mum's for an hour or two or even longer if you need, with just solid foods & water and have milk when you return. Think about it some babies go without anything for three even four hours so with some fluids & solids it really should be okay.

You can actually use the doidy from three months, it is a bit messy, but water doesn't stain! The first few times you use it you will get lots of spillage but it can be fun to practise and gradually your ds will even learn to hold it himself. At nine months my ds holds his cup himself although I support it with my hand underneath if it has other than water in it! I think that when you move babies / toddlers onto cups at whatever age you will get some spillage so I see it as just getting past that stage earlier in life iyswim.

So, good for leaving him with your Mum, but it is a bit of a faff when you are out and about. I am not sure what to suggest in this instance ... maybe a lidded cup?

FA you could always go into an art gallery or library or other free indoors public place where it is easy to find a secluded spot, or even a church?

Sorry, x posts! I think the cafe idea is our only option. I did bf everywhere with ds1, including doorsteps etc when no bench, but just crumpled under the stares of passers by. I won't do that to myself, can't stand it any more. I usually just go back to the car these days - feed him before we leave and hope he stays asleep.

I've had lots of comments in the pat as well, just low self esteem makes it hard to take

x posts again! am typing with one finger...

thanks for all the ideas

FA, just a thought:

Do you know of a local bf support group or a local Mums & Tots where there are some other bfing Mums? If not it might be worth finding one. If you make friends with other bfing Mums then you can go out in a group which makes bfing in public much less scary. You're less likely to get negative comments (few will dare!) and even if you do, there are a few of you to stand up for yourselves.

At our bf support group some of us with older dc's sometimes offer to meet up with some of the newer Mums in town if they are worried about bf in public the first time, to help get their confidence up.

ah, cross posts.

In your position, i would have the cheek to sit quietly at a table and give a quick feed. I started out bf in public by sitting near the back of cafes with one or two walls to limit the angles where the public could observe me. Now I am a brazen cow who will sit on a wall alongside a busy road and feed. (did a couple weeks ago) Sometimes you could offer a feed before you leave the car if you think they will be hungry while out. Try offering a digestive biscuit till you can get somewhere you prefer? Dd was addicted to digestives and then dh offered her chocolate digestives one day and the plain ones didn't do ever again .

remember the public you are worrying about probably doesn't even notice what you are doing unless they come right up close to you to gurn at your baby. try to sit and bf in front of a mirror and look at what you are doing from different angles to see what the public sees.

FA I am like Kiskidee these days and will feed anywhere (including most recently in a sling walking around the Asda) but I am also lucky to have had very few comments; maybe because I give off "militant" vibes?

So I can understand if you've had negative comments in the past your self esteem and confidence will have taken a bit of a battering. I really would recommend seeking out other bf Mums & bfing in public in a group a few times until you get that confidence back.

Thanks so much

I suppose the main problem here is me being a bit of a loner - scared of groups more than being on my own and managing, iyswim
I usually just avoid town really. But if I have to go, I will take Ds1 to a cafe and get something very cheap and then find a table somewhere hidden if possible and just stare at baby/floor or pretend I am confident while avoiding anyone's eyes. I couldn't deal with it if anyone stared or was rude. Sometimes people are really nice and smile when you're doing it but I can't take the risk of looking at anyone.

I think I would feel exactly the same in a group though - I know I believe firmly in breastfeeding and get very militant at times but the doing it in public thing really has me.

My best friends are avid bfers too, which does help. At least we can talk about it together. But we don't really feed in front of each other, we are all too embarrassed! Society is so bloody backward about Bf, isn't it?

I am thankful we have use of a car these days at any rate

FA, tell me to sod off if I'm talking out of turn but I did wonder from your posts whether you might have self-esteem issues that are unrelated to the bfing in public? I mean, have you felt like this, hiding away a bit, before you were lactating?

Not bfing in front of your other bfing friends seems a bit self-=defeating to me, as if you can bf in front of anyone it should be these people, other bfers. What would happen if one of you "whipped out a nork" to feed baby in front of one of the others?

I am not saying you should do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, just asking what is the reason behind the discomfort, iyswim.

Hiya RTP, sorry I missed this yesterday - I would have answered if I had seen it!

Yes, you're right - I have self esteem issues and depression already. I have done for a long time. It means that I don't like to be out and about a lot - I feel as though people don't like me, I'm not welcome in society - all a bit extreme I know, but it comes and goes, and some days it is at the back of my mind and I feel Ok. Sometimes it is a bit crippling.

I see my friends infrequently but love them to bits...just being alone is less stressful iyswim.
I have fed in front of them, and they also have done so in front of me but the one I see most often has had trouble feeding in the past and prefers to do it alone, so I respect that of course. I feel that feeding casually in front of her when she finds it hard, is a bit arrogant - though she would never think badly of me for it. She was present when I had my second baby, so has seen it all!! She's a wonderful support in every way.

I guess all I can do is stick to my pattern of not going out a lot, which suits me Ok - I usually manage to find a place even if it is in the car!

It's not society's fault I feel so embarrassed, it is in my head - but society doesn't make it easier does it?!

Btw I don't find feeding hard really, in itself - there's a running joke with my friend about the time she rang up and I was cleaning the microwave with one hand while feeding...

What I need is a rich husband who can go and do all the outside world stuff for me while I sit at home feeding lots of babies! and cleaning things...

You are right, society doesn't make it any easier. I think to bf in public you have to be a relatively confident person. You might never get so much as a look but just in case you do, you have to be the type of person who is prepared to stand up for herself just in case.

And even then you get supposedly supportive people saying "I really don't mind bf in public as long as its discreet" well try being discreet if you have positioning / attachment problems, distractable baby or K cup norks or a combination of all three or more!!

I thought this cartoon about bf in public would make you chuckle.

I'm sorry to hear about the depression, have you been to see your GP about it and any possible solutions (e.g. CBT, ADs etc)?

Hi flllightattendant, nice to see you again

I'm glad to see this thread as have just bought ds some cereal from boots that wants me to add 210mls of his normal milk - at thought of expressing 210mls each morning!!!

my ds is 9m now and I have been giving him water/EBM from various containers for 3m. He makes a mess of everything but also swallows a lot, especially from the basic tommee tippee beginners cup (2holes in the spout). I also always carry rice cakes for him to gnaw if he's hungry while we're out as he is so distractible it takes 25mins sitting with my boob out before he can focus and feed.

hth, my brain has gone on the fritz again and I am going off to find some stay-awake tea...

Yes I think you might consider mixing the cereal with ordinary milk, really - I think that is what I did with Ds1. After all cows milk is an ingredient in a lot of the foods they have at this age.

RtP - that did make me laugh!! Thanks. I'm being sorted out depression wise, GP and OT and some therapy all happening...it's nice to know there is hope! Things are pretty bad at the moment but I hope they will be improving before too long.

Thanks again for all the support and suggestions on this thread. I feel kind of happier after talking about it