I can't do weaning

[bigbeautifulmonster]

7 month old.
Started solids approx. at 5.5 months. Trying BLW.

Food everywhere except in the mouth. If it does magically get in her mouth she spits/dribbles most of it out. I can see her chewing with her gums and swallowing etc so no problems physiologically. I'm just really worried she's not eating enough and it's stressing me out.

Today I suppose she's swallowed probably altogether about 2 tsp in total over three 'meals'.

Driving me crazy. The food preparation, not really knowing what to give her, the mess all over her clothes/my clothes/the floor, the wastage.

I read that a 7 month old should be having three meals a day but how does one get from playing/trying the food to actual eating meals??

Hate this and other people seem to find it all 'fun'. Any advice/encouragement would be gratefully received. I want to enjoy it but I just find it an extra hassle / yet another thing to make me depressed on top of everything else.

Thank you all so so much. I'm so grateful and feel so much more positive even after just having posted this a short time ago. I was I tears earlier and shouting into my pillow in frustration (after a few things today) but I'm feeling more like I can do tomorrow now.

Thank you all so much. I'll continue to read all these replies over and over, to remind me to stay patient.

Should I not avoid yoghurt as they're intolerant to dairy at this age?

Unless things have changed in the last 10 years... my 2 both weaned on yoghurt, porridge, fruit, toast and breadsticks!

@LittleOwl153

DH makes our dinners for which I'm forever grateful but he does make spicy/rich foods and I read that babies shouldn't have salty food etc. They tend to be stews etc so not really suitable to be 'handled'.

You can rinse off chunks of potato/ veg.from a stew with boiling water. Or ask DH to leave a little bit out before he adds the sauce.

What are you feeding the 3 year old? Surely whatever they are eating is suitable for baby? Maybe sit them down together so that 3yr old can demonstrate to baby how it works... might encourage 3 yr old to try new stuff too if they're doing it to teach LO?

That's a good idea re washing the ingredients or setting some aside.

3yo is on a neverending rigmarole of ham&cheese anything whether it be pizza/quiche/pasta/sandwiches 🙄 (that's a whole other issue) so I was trying to be a bit more broad than that for the weaning.

@LittleOwl153

Should I not avoid yoghurt as they're intolerant to dairy at this age?

Unless things have changed in the last 10 years... my 2 both weaned on yoghurt, porridge, fruit, toast and breadsticks!

Oh! Maybe I've got the wrong end of the (bread)stick (Sorry)

We normally take a portion out early for it to cool, so I often add salt, spice etc at that stage. DS will still have chilli, curry etc and we just add in Greek yoghurt to tone it down if it’s a bit too spicy.

When I make a family dinner I put some of the main ingredients in a separate pan and cook it for baby, with no added salt, stock cubes, spice, then I freeze a few portions. I don't do BLW though. I spoon feed porridge, weetabix, soup, etc or hand him the spoon he can get some off and has since 6 months, now 8 months. Today he ate 2 weetabix, crackerbread, scrambled egg, cooked carrots, cooked broccoli, a little lentil and veg stew from freezer, bits of our slow cooker beef, some pieces of Yorkshire pudding, raspberries and an oatcake. I spoon fed the weetabix and stew the rest he ate himself. I like this stage as they eat what they are given not like the fussy 3 and 5yr old!

Weaning is the worst. I've done it with three children in the last 6 years and I never want to do it again! I had two really fussy eaters which doesn't help, but honestly it's just no fun.

It doesn't have to be stressful though, with my third child I wasn't fannying about making her anything different so just gave her what we were having. Most often than not, she doesn't touch it and if she doesn't then I give her a bit of toast or a weetabix. She is a terrible eater to be fair, some days she barely eats anything and she's 2 now, but her weight is fine and she's thriving.

I've found with both my fussy ones that actually they don't need as much food as you think, a child's portion in restaurants and things is massive compared to their actual stomach size. So don't panic if it seems like not much is going in.

My eldest son was also really really fussy. I remember once we went on holiday and he barely ate anything at all. He's now six and will eat pretty much anything, he's actually also got a really good grasp of his appetite and knowing when he's full or hungry (which I don't due to years of 'clean your plate' indoctrination) and I think this is pretty crucial actually. So those years of throwing scrambled egg on the floor and saying 'don't want it' have actually been good!

We did a mixture of BLW and traditional. I couldn't deal with all the mess so stuff like stew, spag bol etc i would spoon feed, but would offer veg or toast, or othrt meals with fruit like bananas to do the BLW side. Not every meal has to be messy

I remember putting a shower curtain under the high chairs and then shaking it out in the garden.
Throwing it in the wash or wiping it down depending on how dirty it was.

@Lazypuppy

We did a mixture of BLW and traditional. I couldn't deal with all the mess so stuff like stew, spag bol etc i would spoon feed, but would offer veg or toast, or othrt meals with fruit like bananas to do the BLW side. Not every meal has to be messy

I second this. DD is 11 months old and has always loved food even though recently she’s become more fussy.

I do a mixture of both spoon feeding and BLW. As this poster has said, meals like spag bol, chicken and rice, lasagna etc all get fed with a spoon. All fruit gets put on DDs tray so she’s able to pick it and put in her mouth.

Actually I’ve just read that back as I’ve written it and I guess that’s more finger foods than BLW? Who knows at this point. The only thing she spoon feeds herself is porridge as it more or less sticks to the spoon so cause less mess. It’s just so she can get used to picking up cutlery and putting it in her mouth.

I’m not a fan of weaning at all. Even tho I give DD what we’re eating, I always found it to be a chore

It's gradual and all babies vary and some take ages. My DD genuinely wasn't really eating any solids at all except for maybe toast and some soft fruits until she was 12 months old. She drank loads of huge bottles of formula and was growing well. At her 12 month review the HV advised gradually cutting down her formula which we did over the next couple of months and she did then start to eat solids 'properly'. As long as your baby is growing well, there is no need to worry at all. If it's still the same or similar at 12 months then you can reassess but for now, your baby will get what they need from milk.

No advice but came to say I HATED WEANING so so so so much.

It was gross, messy, wasteful, stressful and felt futile - Not to mention DD has several allergies so it was traumatic at times also!

The idea of weaning another makes me feel a bit funny in my stomach and lightheaded. Honestly, it was such an upsetting and stressful time! Plus she would never eat what we ate, and still doesn't like most meals we eat unless it's veggie based. Probably healthier for us but I've not had chicken or beef in months 😅

Personally I’d ditch the BLW, weird fad!

Stand highchair on a double fitted sheet. Gather up afterwards and tip into the bin.

Accept that tops will need to be changed after every meal.

Let them get on with it. Yes it gets everywhere but honestly mess is part and parcel of parenthood.

I don't worry too much about what I'm giving them tbh. They don't eat much of it but DD loves spicy food and so does her cousin. They're 18 months and 15 months. I can be sitting there, eyes watering from a chicken madras and they're just blithely scooping up the sauce and licking it. Do they want a drink? Do they fuck. Cool as cucumbers the pair of them. I've yet to offer either of them something spicy or strong flavoured that they won't eat.

Thanks again for all your responses. Means so much to me to read these tonight.

On the spicy food (@Notanotherwindow) do you think I should just put the spicy food in front of her with maybe some cucumber/yoghurt and water to help in case she can't handle it? We don't eat stuff that blows your head off but I would love to get DD into spicy food if poss.

Just really really don't want to be cruel in giving it to a 7 month old! Did yours cry the first time?

Ok so it's breakfast time and I woke up all positive but feeling frustrated again.

Offered some porridge fingers, boiled egg, banana.
She touched it a bit then looked at me and started winging so I picked her up. Tried on my knee and offered a bit from my hand but she flings her head back not wanting it.

Is this the right idea? Do I just keep doing this?

For DD, it was like a switch flipped at about 9 months and she very suddenly went from having milk feeds and messing about with a bit of food three times a day to eating three meals a day and having a bit of milk on the side! I remember it well as I was breastfeeding and the resultant hormones were not fun (and I got my period back pretty much immediately.)

Obviously they're all different, but I really wouldn't worry about her not eating much at 7 months.

On dairy, I was told they shouldn't be drinking milk before a year, but that's not because they're intolerant, it's because you don't want cow's milk to start taking the place of mother's / formula milk. It's fine in cooking, or as yoghurt etc.

If it makes you feel better dd was ok with food until she hit 12 months and got tonsillitis. After that she refused ALL food until she was 18 months and just had milk. I had her to the hospital and all sorts. They just said to give her her milk and keep trying the food. She put on weight fine.

No she didn't cry. Dont think my niece did either.

We gave it to her for a laugh as she was reaching for it and whinging. They always want my bloody food even if they have the same. They were sriracha flavour sun bite kind of crisps and she wanted one so i gave her one thinking she'd just spit it out but she liked them.

Some days it will work, others it won't. Just keep offering like you are and don't drop the milk feeds until you feel they're eating enough.
We're ten months here and was a total spoon refuser up until 9 months. Our average day is:

1 weetabix with cows milk and a small banana (this allows me to inhale my breakfast)
Lunch is normally a bread product, stick of cheese, stick of cucumber, a strawberry and a couple of crisp puffs
Dinner, normally something we're having could be curry (I don't do rice, but pasta for the children) spag bol, pizza or scrambled egg/ omelette
If she needs a snack, normally a bit of hummus and breadstick or one of the healthier pre made snacks for ease.

Milk feeds, one bottle after lunch and one before bed. She reduced these herself, I took her lead. Sometimes a feed in the night.

I totally get your frustration, I hated this phase too but promised myself to chill more this time. As for the mess...we've got a dog!

I think BLW is not suitable for everyone. My daughter loved being fed readybrek with fruit at 7 months and loved being spooned puree and scrambled egg etc. The happiness on her face eating purée and soft foods got me through those frustrating throw-everything-on-the-floor sessions as I knew she liked food and we could experiment with flavours

BLW thankfully wasn’t a thing in my day, 30 years ago. We fed babies tidily from a plastic spoon, and started early, when they were open to trying new tastes, and before they could develop (eg peanut) allergies, which are so prevalent with late weaning.
My own two were on my lap at mealtimes and lunging at my plate from 8 weeks onwards, so I used to give them a little smear of mashed potato or stew on my finger, as a taste. Later, I cooked and pureed batches of mixed vegetables, adding a little grated cheese to boost the protein content, but still fed by spoon. They were allowed rusks or biscuits as finger food, but nothing messy.
When they were old enough to try and wield a spoon themselves, I put a large plastic mat under the high chair, for easy cleaning afterwards. A wet flannel was handy to mop their faces and hair! I have some lovely photos of them grinning with faces completely smeared in chocolate cake…
Try to relax, OP. Some mess is inevitable, just limit what you can and don’t get too freaked about the fallout.

I also put a shower curtain under the high chair and shook it out afterwards. Much easier. Also DD is like her Dad and not a morning person, so breakfast was the last meal of the day that she gained any interest in and she still is not interested in food until she has been up for a couple of hours aged 4.

Are you eating with your baby, or are you feeding them separately? DD loves to sit at the table with us in her highchair while we ate. She would have eaten more then than if she was sat in a chair with just me feeding her.