I can't do weaning

[bigbeautifulmonster]

7 month old.
Started solids approx. at 5.5 months. Trying BLW.

Food everywhere except in the mouth. If it does magically get in her mouth she spits/dribbles most of it out. I can see her chewing with her gums and swallowing etc so no problems physiologically. I'm just really worried she's not eating enough and it's stressing me out.

Today I suppose she's swallowed probably altogether about 2 tsp in total over three 'meals'.

Driving me crazy. The food preparation, not really knowing what to give her, the mess all over her clothes/my clothes/the floor, the wastage.

I read that a 7 month old should be having three meals a day but how does one get from playing/trying the food to actual eating meals??

Hate this and other people seem to find it all 'fun'. Any advice/encouragement would be gratefully received. I want to enjoy it but I just find it an extra hassle / yet another thing to make me depressed on top of everything else.

I feel your pain. Thing to remember is they are learning. "Food before one is just for fun" which is a bit annoying because it seems like a waste when you're just washing it off your baby. Make sure they are still getting their milk.

And it kind of just happens after a while.

I feel your pain. Mine were all like that and then screamed at food when it was put in front of them for months/years.

All I can say is this-
A) if the weight is ok don’t worry about it.
B) it all straightened out in the end and they eat fine now- don’t ask me how, time just passed.
C) this will pass!

BLW = just give them what you are having. I mean not fast foods / ready meals but otherwise just give them the same as you have.

Put it on their plate / tray & leave them to explore.

Also buy an IKEA Antilop high chair & a bibado bib that catches the food & less cleaning. The bibs are expensive but I’ve been using ours for 3 years daily so worth the investment

I feel like you are making it way more stressful than it needs to be

Sometimes it does just take time; my first DC was easy with weaning but my second was very slow. I remember asking the health visitor what would happen if at 1 he still wasn’t eating solids and doing a victory dance when he finally ate an entire yoghurt at 10 months.
I’m not sure I ever found it fun; even with my DC who weaned easily I wouldn’t say I enjoyed it although I did like it when the milk feeds reduced

Just try purées on the tip of the spoon to start with you don't have to do baby led meaning it doesn't work for everybody

Food before one is just for fun.

The majority of their calories should still come from milk.

In terms of the mess, the weather is getting nicer so eating outside is a great option.
Remember it is a brand new, complex skill they are learning. Don't bother trying to get them to spoon feed yet, they physically don't have the bones in the wrist to manipulate cutlery effectively. There's a brilliant xray floating in the Web showing bone development in the wrist if you search for it, it's quite fascinating.

Toddlers often prefer to graze so that's what I always did. Make a grazing plate that DD could access (always moving it out of reach if I was going out the room). And she just had a tiny portion of what ever I was having at meal times when we sat together.
Sticks of mango at breakfast, toast fingers and scrambled egg for lunch, rich and chicken for dinner. Really messy food was always fed before bathtime either in the morning or pm or both.

Doesn’t sound like there’s anything wrong at all. Totally normal for her age and the method you’re using. You’re doing baby led, and the baby is leading, currently she is wanting to play with the food and spit it out, but she will eventually start eating more and wasting less. And agree with PP, just give her what you’re having but don’t add salt during the cooking stage. Adults will need to add salt to their meal at the table if needed.

Food before 1 is just for fun, try and remember that. All of her nutrition needs should still be being met by milk.

At 7 months, mine was still messing around and then something clicked and he realised how much he enjoyed food.

We’ve got a wipe clean mat that goes underneath the ikea high chair and just shake that outside. Bibado bib that catches food dropped onto clothes - also two cats that are his best mate when he’s eating.

I tend to meal plan for meals that we can eat together. There’s not huge amounts he won’t have. Breakfast is one of 5 things on repeat, lunch might be leftovers, a picky plate, stuff on toast, a sandwich or I will batch cook things like fish cakes or pinwheels and then freeze in smaller bags. Filled pasta or pouches to use as sauce on pasta/rice are good, with frozen veg that doesn’t take too long to cook.

It’s like this for months, you’re doing fine. At some point a few months after the first birthday they do just eat, but it’s a long way until then. Just keep offering and keep iron in mind (vit c and no dairy with iron rich food).

Give lots of milk feeds.

As a minimum maintain the milk feeds you were giving pre-opening. You may well need to increase milk feeds.

Don't entertain reducing any of babys milk intake until around 9 months. Make sure all food is in addition to all if the milk. Not in place of.

A longer version of "food is fun until 1" is "food is a minor source if calories until 12 months, until 12 months milk is the major source of calories.

You could even that out as:

● 6-9 months - maintain milk at pre-weaning levels, gradually adding in food at meal times as extra calories on top of milk
● 9-12 months - gradually start reducing milk so that solids take over calories, with increasing portion sizes and food groups.
● 12 months - At this point baby should be getting the majority of calories from food, with milk as an aside. There is no reason to expect this stage to be the case earlier than 1y

There is no real need to be purist about BLW if you would like your baby to eat more but they haven't got the hang of it yet. You could try spoon-feeding (e.g. breakfast porridge). The BLW police won't actually turn up!

I would recommend having a look at sr nutrition on Instagram. She is very good at explaining the weaning process as well as problem solving if you don't feel things are going to plan. I believe she also has a book out. I found her very helpful when I weaned my youngest. But if I could offer advise I would echo what other people have said and try not to stress out too much. Put a bib on your baby, a mat on the floor, good on the high chair and let them get on with it. The amount they are eating will increase naturally.

Thank you for your responses. I really appreciate it.

I have that ikea chair already so at least the chair is easy to wipe. I'll buy those bibs though. Thank you. Maybe I should put newspaper in the door or something to make for easier cleaning after.

I have a 3yo who is really fussy with food and I struggled back when she was a baby too... I was determined this would be different, that I'd be more relaxed about it and that it would hopefully result in a less fussy older child too. I guess it started all find and 'fun' but now feeling the pressure suddenly at the realisation that we're nearly two months in and not much change.

Re just having a bit of whatever we're having... this sounds so easy and I do wonder why I can't just do that but for some reason our food is not appropriate for one reason or another. DH makes our dinners for which I'm forever grateful but he does make spicy/rich foods and I read that babies shouldn't have salty food etc. They tend to be stews etc so not really suitable to be 'handled'. I'll keep trying on this idea though.

Neither of my children ate anything really til 9 months. At 7-8 months I was lucky if they ate literally a couple of shreddies and a couple of blueberries in a day, whilst children of the same age would be eating proper bowlfuls of food. By 11 months both were eating what could be considered meals but even then would easily skip one if they were overtired. I find it crazy that babies used to be weaned at 4 months because mine showed so little interest even when starting at 6 months (same reaction to spoon feeding or finger foods).

News paper on the floor is a good idea. And mine loved yoghurt and porridge to start with

Mine wasn't interested in even putting stuff in her mouth at 6 months. Just totally not ready (6 weeks premature so really only 4.5 months but gut matures from birth so you treat them by their calendar age for weaning). I didn't even bother trying until close to 7 months when she started showing interest. She was 9 months before there was any evidence in her nappies that anything was getting swallowed and I would say it was a full month after that before it looked like she was digesting any of what she swallowed. By 1 she was eating small meals but still a total milk monster. What food she had she loved and she ate a very diverse range. She is now 4 and a very good eater. She has always been petite but she has followed her centiles well and is very healthy. Not even starting nursery made her catch everything going and she is a proportionate weight for her height. She had loads of milk until way after her peers but supplemented it wil enough food for me not to worry. They are all different and until 1 I wouldn't worry at all as long as she was taking plenty milk.

Oh wow thank you all so much. Sorry , my last post came after many of you had written.

Thank you.

I guess that even though I've heard about 'food before one just for fun' the pressure to have meals is going deep into my instincts to want my baby to have enough. It sounds as though I've misinterpreted what I've read online about how much a 7mo should be 'eating'

When presenting them with rice etc do you really just let them move it around the tray , allow it go everywhere? Seems to me it would be a difficult thing for them to eat but maybe I need to fully embrace the mess.

I'm honestly not a tidy freak... far from it! But seeing my baby's sleeves covered in food juice and the floor/me with food everywhere does make my heart sink. Yet another thing to sort out.

@NotTheOW

News paper on the floor is a good idea. And mine loved yoghurt and porridge to start with

Should I not avoid yoghurt as they're intolerant to dairy at this age?

I feel like I read a lot about what NOT to do, not so much about what I CAN do.

Yes. Well that's what I did. Or you can let them have a bit off a tiny spoon if you prefer.

And maybe go for tiny portions!

Perhaps you can talk to your husband about how stressed you’re feeling about it, and how you’d like to try getting the baby to eat some more family meals to reduce the prep, and perhaps he’d like to consider modifying the family menu for a little while (or a couple of nights a week) so it’s suitable for her too. There’s no reason he couldn’t pick up a BLW or have a look online for grown up evening meals that can be adapted for BLW.

But you and the baby could also have the same breakfast and lunch, and that’s two meals a day with less prep involved.

DH makes our dinners for which I'm forever grateful but he does make spicy/rich foods and I read that babies shouldn't have salty food etc. They tend to be stews etc so not really suitable to be 'handled'.

You can rinse off chunks of potato/ veg.from a stew with boiling water. Or ask DH to leave a little bit out before he adds the sauce.

What are you feeding the 3 year old? Surely whatever they are eating is suitable for baby? Maybe sit them down together so that 3yr old can demonstrate to baby how it works... might encourage 3 yr old to try new stuff too if they're doing it to teach LO?

Re the messy clothes, why not just make sure the room is adequately heated and put her in the high chair in her nappy? She’s already waterproof and wipes clean easily enough. Or one of those coverall bibs with sleeves?