BLW 8mo dropped off weight chart. Losing my nerve. Time to push the mush?

[mamadoc]

DD always been tiny 5lb 4oz at birth and clinging to 0.4th centile since. Haven't been to clinic since she was 5mo as there seemed no need but she was recently diagnosed with milk protein allergy and GP sent me to HV for diet advice. Found out she only weighs 12lb 8oz and has fallen off the centile chart entirely.

She will try anything but the amount of food actually going down is minimal eg couple of toast soldiers and half a banana would be good going for her at breakfast. For tea today she had pasta with tuna and tomato and then some steamed apple pieces but more of it got spread round the place than digested. Can't even do cheese sauces and butter due to dairy allergy.

She still has 5 bf a day and often one or two at night as well. Shouldn't this be enough to keep her growing? Can't even blame crawling as she remains completely immobile.

If I tell my family and friends about this I know they'll say its my fault for not cracking out the jars, advise cutting back bf to make her hungrier for solids etc.

What to do?? Hold on and hope she soon starts eating more and playing less or try to get more down her by spoonfeeding. Have agreed to get her weighed again in New Year and been threatened with dietician if still flatlining. Any advice/sympathy appreciated

There is no point trying to spoon food into her.At this stage,breastmilk is about the most calorie dense option there is. And furthermore,what does it matter if she wants to feed a lot? Why knowingly deprive her of such an enormous emotional and physical source of comfort? She has the rest of her life to eat food.

Maybe she is just destined to be slim.

I had just about accepted that she is supposed to be small and was trying to relax about the whole thing but today has really thrown me into doubting myself again.

I'd just keep calm and keep on breastfeeding on demand and offering food without ramming it into her.

That breakfast sounds fine to me! My daughter is 15 months old and rarely eats much more than that at one sitting. If you are worried that she really isn't getting enough food then snacks might be the way to go - offer fruit, bread etc while you are playing with her. But I would also just breastfeed her however much she wants and let her get on with it. If she is happy, otherwise healthy, alert and doing plenty of poos and wees then I think she is probably absolutely fine. Also are you and your partner slim? I had a big fuss with my daughter around this age (she still only weighs about 18lb) and the HVs etc just flat out wouldn't accept that I have never been anywhere near any of those charts in my life apart from while heavily pregnant and my daughter's father only weighs 9 stone and is a man and that might make a difference. I was pretty near offering to get on the scales myself. Anyway, good luck and try not to worry too much. The really sensible HVs etc say 'look at the child not at the chart' and it sounds like that's what needs to happen here.

What does your HV/GP say?

With all due respect, I would listen to them rather than faceless, non-medical people on an internet forum.

are they referring you to someone? are they worried? what did they actually recommend you feed her (that would be more calorific than BM?)

if they're already small it must be frightening when they drop (although i believe it's not uncommon for babies at weaning age as they're moving around a lot more) and you certainly don't want a baby tumbling through centiles without a referral to check for absorption issues etc. but if she was just on the charts and now she's off that doesn't help with knowing how off the charts she is, iykwim?

by all means, though, crack out the spoons if it will help her (and you)... so that means thinking in high-cal terms. avocado/olive oil can be added to loads of things, cashew nut butter is great, avocadoes, cheeses etc. (but why they're any better than milk is a bit mysterious...) good luck, whatever you decide.

Problem is wilkie they didn't seem to have much helpful advice. GP said talk to the HV. HV said bring her to be weighed in New Year and if still not growing then she will be referred to dietician. They seem to be good at telling you there's a problem but not so hot on what to do. She suggested concentrating more on foods I know she will eat a lot of and carbs/protein over fruit and veg but that was it.

Today I tried spoonfeeding her breakfast weetabix and she ate the same amount she always does about half and then she shut her mouth and turned her head away. I didn't want to get into distracting her or fighting with her as it just seems wrong to me. I don't think the problem is she mechanically can't feed herself enough just she has a small appetite. Perhaps offering more often is the way to go but I don't want to stop her being hungry for milk.

is it possible to feed her milk more often? a dream feed or something?

I used to give mine avocado mixed up with baked beans - really high in good fats and they seem to love it.

btw, half a weetabix doesn't sound so bad... sometimes dd eats less, sometimes more. dd also likes little raisin wheat things, she really tucks them away. are cheerios a good snack? i never understand the cheerios thing, they seem awfully sugary to me but babies do love them.

Mamadoc, you still around?
My ds2 is almost exactly like yours, was 5,9 born and always around the 5th centile, now has dropped off completely. My HV came round today for his 9 month check, and although she is totally supportive, she said (almost aplogetically) that he needs to be referred to a diatician. I realised after she left that he weighs less than ds1 did at 19 weeks --he's 39 weeks, but was born a month early.

She recommended using whole milk or cream in sauces, offering him stodgy pudds after meals and as sancks (as long as he is also getting his 5 a day), making sure his main meals all have lots of fats and protein. I'm really worried now and daren't tell my MIL -- she already thinks I starve my children. I feel terrible.

Am thinking of keeping a food diary in the meantime to keep track and possibly show to the diatician.

Fingers crossed for you and would love to keep in touch through this.

oops, snacks

I really feel for everyone who has very light and/or non-eating babies.

DD was born on 50th centile and dropped down to the 2nd centile during the period of 6-12 months old. I hadn't heard of BLW, and we were told to basically chivvy DD into eating more.

I spent the best part of a year obsessing over how many calories she was getting. I was honestly quite deranged for a while (e.g. examining every yoghurt/fromage frais in the shop to see which was the most fattening....usually by a margin of about 4 calories lol).

Anyway, just wanted to say that when it comes to little ones eating there's an element of que cera cera. DD ate pretty much the same amount when we encouraged her as when we just left her to it. She's still as skinny as a rake now, and doesn;t eat much at all, but she's obviously full of energy.

I did have one v helpful HV at one point who pretty much told me to ignore the charts and just look at DD...was she alert, happy etc This proved to be very sound advice IMO.

Thanks, Spawn. Sound advice.

i had the same problem with my eldest dd (poor eating i mean not the dairy allergy) i know how hard and worrying it can be! and how annoying it is when 'helpfull' family members say things like 'at least she is eating her veg' and you feel like like screaming she needs fat and protien not veg stop encouraging her to fill up on sprouts and let her eat her meat!!! she also fell off her chart and is still very near the bottom of it now!!

mine is 4 now and still is a very poor eater and still isnt growing properly, according to her doctors that is! i have been seen by specialist and nutritionist none of which i found helpfull the specialist told me that children need to eat to grow! (is that right? i thought i just had to water her, i didnt realise i had to feed her too!) and the nutrionist said i should give her sausages and eggs and various other fatty foods, like i needed a nutrionist to tell me that sausages would help her put on weight! its getting her to eat them that is the problem!

my dd is the original max wild! she loves fruit and veg and has been known in the past to turn down pink custard in favour of fresh spinache leaves!! this however means that she is getting a lot of calories!

my opinion is dont get hung up on charts and things! there is no such thing as a 'normal' weight for a baby they are all different and your child is not going to allow herslf to statve to death!

i am now being told that my youngest (6 months) is growing too quickly and needs to diet!!! your baby knows how much she needs just let her be the guide and dont make a fuss or she will see every mealtime as a battle and a way to get attention! i.e. she probably finds it very amusing when mummy is crawling around the floor with toast soilders and trying to make soup immtiate airoplanes and will therefore believe that mealtime is play time!!

let you and your baby be your guide and do what is that you feel is best after all you are her mum you know her better than any one else!

one pice of good advise i was given was leave finger foods in her reach and let her pick at them when she likes rather than having set big meals and add milk powder or breastmilk to everything you can i.e mash, soup etc.

Finger foods have worked really well for us. I have a special snack plate on the coffee table when we play and load it up with cubes of cheese, fruit, bread, raisins etc while we play. To be completely honest, my daughter is still skinny and still not eating as much as other babies of the same age, but snacks have probably doubled her intake of calories overall. I think this can only be a good thing as she eats such tiny meals.

Oh sorry, have just seen that your baby can't eat dairy. In place of cubes of cheese, you could use fried cubes of tofu (I know it sounds a bit horrible but they're really popular with mine), cubes or slices of tender meat like poached chicken breast etc, grilled or fried cubes of polenta with added veg/butter/soy cheese etc.

Mamadoc this may sound like a stupid question, but are you bfing her before she has her solid food?

Breastmilk, gram for gram, has more calories than the vast majority of solid foods. So if you're worried, best just to bf more often, and before the solid foods, which at this stage are more of a taste sensation than anything else really.

And as you know you have my sympathy as I am blw-ing a tiny one, too.

(What helped me greatly was not getting him weighed any more but it took a huge leap to do that.)

Ditto what lucicle says re: the cubes of tofu - mine love it. In fact, they even like it raw and slippery (Fried has more cals though, obv).

Eggs are good too.

So are sardines, pilchards and other oily fish.