At 12 months do all milk feeds stop and it's three meals a day of what I'm eating?

[LemonsOrLimes]

At 12 months does your child just eat the same as you and when you eat? Is this the end of all milk feeds and any kind of weaning? Is there anything specific they should be having in their diet? What is the purpose of follow on milk? At this point should a 12 month old be spoon feeding themselves or doing hand to mouth? If it's not clear already I have no idea what I'm doing.

Lots of questions there OP, I'll start with the follow-on milk.

It's main purpose seems to be getting around any laws that ban the advertising of formula milks. There's no proven benefit of giving any kind of formula after 12 months. Your LO will be fine with 300 ml of Full fat cow's milk a day and the the recommended vitamins.

Is this the end of all milk feeds and any kind of weaning?

You can still give milk feeds, some people stop using the bottles, which is recommended but others don't. Many still give a bottle or cup of milk before bed.

Is there anything specific they should be having in their diet?

A variety of fruit and veg. Oily fish is recommended three times a week fir boys and twice a week for girls. The Caroline Walker Trust has a good guide on feeding 1 to 4 year olds. It covers how to ensure they receive all of the nutrients, sample menus and portion sizes.

At this point should a 12 month old be spoon feeding themselves or doing hand to mouth?

I'd try encouraging some baby friendly cutlery around now. If they've been spoon fed some meals you can encourage them to feed themselves. If they are going to Nursery they will probably be feeding themselves whilst they are there anyway.

Milk feeds don't need to stop (I'm still breastfeeding at 2yo), though it's more of a drink alongside food by then. If you bottle feeding it is recommended to change to a sippy cup as it's better for teeth. They can also have normal cows milk from 1, which most people switch to as it's much cheaper.

Follow on milk can be given from 6 months. It's mostly the same as first milk, but with more iron which makes it unsuitable for young babies. You could continue giving first milk, but again people tend to switch due to cost. First milk can't be reduced or included in offers, whereas follow on can, so it usually works out cheaper to change.

At 1 my babies could make an attempt at spoon feeding themselves, but it was still rather messy. What I found easier is giving mostly finger food, then they can feed themselves fine. Usually I'd give them things that I'm eating, but not nessercerily the whole meal (eg. If I'm having curry, I'd take some chicken out of the pan for them before adding sauce). They also need snacks inbetween meals, which I don't have, but their stomachs are still to small to go as long.

At 12 months does your child just eat the same as you and when you eat?
Yes but you may find that you want to offer snacks because they only have small stomachs so can’t always last between meals without getting hungry. Mine also have an early dinner at 5pm, then bed at 7pm and I eat later with DH.

Is this the end of all milk feeds and any kind of weaning?
You can offer a cup of milk to drink with breakfast if you would like. Many people continue the bedtime milk as part of the routine into toddlerhood.

Is there anything specific they should be having in their diet?
A good balanced diet with protein, fruit, veg and calcium. Give a vitamin D or multi vitamin containing vitamin D once they cut down on formula.

What is the purpose of follow on milk?
To allow companies to market formula. But it is much cheaper so can be a good option for 6-12 months. After that they can just have cows milk.

At this point should a 12 month old be spoon feeding themselves or doing hand to mouth:
Hand to mouth is fine, I’d also start encouraging the spoon, but I’d expect a 12 month old to still ge quite messy.

They can have milk but preferably from a cup rather than a bottle. Milk is a source of calcium and vitamins

A mix of cutlery and hands should be encouraged. My dcs used to pick up food to spear it onto their fork

My DD still had 2-3 bottles a day past 1 year by old, before every nap and at bedtime. We would have one with us on long trips out too. We gave her food every meal time too, plus snacks. When she was 2 she had dropped to 1 nap a day she still had milk twice a day, and she's continued to have one at bedtime once she dropped all naps.
We were on formular and moved to follow on at 1 as it was cheaper/on deals. We tried cows milk but she never really took to it and we had some issues with constipation so stuck with what worked. We later moved to Orla Growing Up milk which is like a halfway house between cows and formular.
She's almost 4 and still has milk before bed, despite eating normal meals and snacks. And (shock horror) she still has it from a bottle (skippy cups don't work too well lying down) she's never had a dummy tho and doesn't suck her thumb so I'm not worried about her teeth. She will continue to have it as long as she wants it.

How are you getting on today @LemonsOrLimes?

3 meals and 2 snacks a day are recommended at 12 months. Bottle feeding is recommended to stop but breastfeeding is recommended to continue. They can have full fat cows milk in a cup at this age.

Thank you so so much for all the detailed replies, I truly appreciate it and I'm feeling much more confident going forward. @DominicRaabsTravelAgent He isn't 12 months yet so I was asking in anticipation. I'm contemplating giving him the growing up milk alongside meals as I'm not the best cook and fearful he won't get all his dietary needs met with whatever I make (my own diet is appalling so need an overhaul me thinks)

I'm not the best cook and fearful he won't get all his dietary needs met with whatever I make (my own diet is appalling so need an overhaul me thinks)

I could have written this when my DS was the same age. I'd just start with some simple things and take it from there, you'll get better at cooking I promise

As fir the growing up milk, cow's milk and vitamins will be absolutely fine and much, much cheaper!