Eating a disaster at nursery - help!

[FayeTea]

DS (12 months) has just started nursery and so far eating has been a disaster. It’s very difficult to get him to take anything off a spoon. We’ve tried directly feeding him and giving him a pre loaded spoon to hold to no avail. Unfortunately, he also seems to hate the texture of a lot of types of food on his hands, especially anything in a sauce or anything sticky (rice is the number one enemy). He’s never been a baby who just gets messy and stuck in to a plate of food in front of him.

We’ve adapted at home and he eats a pretty good range of (dry) things, mostly with his hands. An average day would be toast and fruit or egg for breakfast, tuna sweetcorn pasta with sticks of cucumber and tomato and for lunch and a piece of fish with some chunky potatoes and sticks of courgette for dinner. We eat everything together as a family.

Nursery however serve a lot of ‘wet’ foods like curry or stew or lasagne, expecting the babies to either be spoon fed or dig in with their hands. DS will do neither, so he basically doesn’t eat at nursery apart from the odd bit of fruit. He comes home upset and starving.

I feel it’s our fault for not pushing foods he finds upsetting - we just never wanted eating to be an issue. I need him to eat things in sauce though, I don’t care if it’s by hand or by spoon. I can’t take any more phone calls telling me he won’t eat!

Thanks all.

Will they let you provide a packed lunch of foods he will eat? My dd is 14 (years) and doesn't like saucy foods either

Thanks for the reply @dementedpixie. I should have mentioned that they have said no to us sending in food as there are a couple of kids who have allergies in his room. Completely understandable but would have been such a good compromise! X

You need to place the wet food and the dry food together - so he has something he likes along side things to try.

My son never ate bread for example so I searched bread with every meal until he tried it! - packed lunches would’ve been difficult!

They need to offer him alternative foods then even if its just toast and fruit or plain pasta without a sauce (my ds will eat plain pasta with grated cheese and sliced ham or cooked chicken)

Thanks @BluebellsGreenbells - so give up with the spoon for now and try and encourage him to put his hands in the wet stuff? I feel we are probably closer to that then spoon acceptance if I’m honest.

I would work with the nursery to provide suitable alternatives. They cater to all children, allergies, sensory issues and just plain fussy. It's not acceptable for him to go hungry because he's not used to eating with a spoon. Perhaps ask them to offer a mix of dry finger food and their standard spooned food. Over time he will probably adapt but for now it's more important he gets something to eat and isn't really sad and hungry.

@dementedpixie

They need to offer him alternative foods then even if its just toast and fruit or plain pasta without a sauce (my ds will eat plain pasta with grated cheese and sliced ham or cooked chicken)

I’m glad you said this. I’m just back to work so my stress cup is pretty full already and i’m trying not to catastrophise, but it does mean I’m struggling to see the wood from the trees re: what’s acceptable to expect from nursery. My DH is of the same opinion as you and think they need to provide something else. I was just so hoping nursery would be the magic bullet to get him eating more food, which in hindsight was probably wishful thinking 😨

@Tickly. @FayeTea. Tickly is read right, by refusing packed lunches they are descriminating against your child in favour of the allergic ones. You need to gently explain this to them saying you're not happy and agree with themselves what foods you can provide that don't set off the allergies in the others..

Basically the nursery are being lazy.

Dead not read ffs

[quote ODFOD21]**@Tickly. @FayeTea. Tickly is read right, by refusing packed lunches they are descriminating against your child in favour of the allergic ones. You need to gently explain this to them saying you're not happy and agree with themselves what foods you can provide that don't set off the allergies in the others..

Basically the nursery are being lazy.[/quote]
Just to clarify and before I get shouted at I'm not saying discrimination. There's obviously a significant difference between an allergy that requires specific catering and fussy eating. But I don't see why they can't help your little one gradually accept new foods - it's part of their remit and they are being lazy I agree.

It is mild discrimination for sure. It's not inclusive of the child's requirements.

Allergies or not, the nursery's solution can't just be to leave a baby hungry. Either they need to provide food he will eat or they need to let you provide it.

I suggest contacting them via email so it is all written down and explain the situation clearly. Make it clear it is not okay for your son to be left hungry and ask the question above, will they be providing suitable food or would they like you to provide a labelled, allergen free lunchbox for him. Hope you get somewhere :)