In serious need of help...

[davidcox]

So we are trying to wean my 22 month old son who has breast fed from birth.

Being his Dad, I have been trying to step up to do my part in helping with this.

I’m becoming seriously unstuck by the fact that when he can’t have ‘mummy’ he will cry hysterically to the point when Mummy will have to come anyway, unless he’s literally beyond tired and he’ll feed with a bottle with me.

I have tried dream feeding him at night to prevent my partner having to wake up and feed but again this has only worked on the odd occasion.

Ridiculously, he will go to nursery 3 days a week and go without completely but when he’s at home, it’s like a serious drug addiction, he’s clawing at my partners top and crying for the boob.

I know much of this probably sounds normal to many of you, but more so for my partners sanity and health - can anyone help me with what else to do/try?

Thanks in advance,

David

Does your DW want to stop BFing? If so, does she want to stop completely?

What have you tired apart from bottles?

Could she go out each evening for a drive or walk at bedtime so that you do the nighttime routine with a bottle?

Going without at nursery and then wanting a nice catch up feed with Mum is pretty normal behaviour too, it's a way fir them to both reconnect after being apart. It's fine if she doesn't enjoy that but it might just need a bit of reassure that this is perfectly normal.

Thank you for your kind response, yes she is now at a stage where she wants to give up - but it's seemingly impossible.

At times, he will intermittently go down for me with a bottle - but as mentioned it's almost like only when he's beyond tired.

She has tried going out, however obviously within the pandemic this has been difficult so we will try this again soon.

In regards to 'what else have we tried' - may I ask what else you'd suggest?

In regards to 'what else have we tried' - may I ask what else you'd suggest

Just different cups, straws etc.

The current advice is to drop one feed every 2 weeks. This is to get LO used to it and to reduce your DW's risk of mastitis.

So could you both pick a feed when you are home each day and give formula instead. Your DW may need to go out.

My DH got up each day and gave our LO breakfast downstairs whilst I stayed upstairs and had a shower.

At 22 months breakfast and a cup of milk instead of a bf is more than fine. If he won't take the milk, try blitzing some banana and frozen berries with it to make a milkshake.

If he's missing BFing one good piece of advice I was given was to substitute it with a nice drink, so the milkshake or a hot chocolate or some diluted fruit juice and a biscuit.

If he's waking a lot on the night though, you might want to start with some gentle night weaning