15 month old won't eat savoury meals

[TealGreen4321]

My son is the ultimate breakfast boy... He loves scrambled eggs, porridge, wholemeal toast, nut butters, unsweetened greek yoghurt, and all the fruits.

But I'm really struggling to get any meat, fish or vegetables into him. He'll eat some vegetables if finely grated into an omelette, and he'll eat peas and cucumber as finger foods. I make him little pea pancakes which he likes. Oh, and avocado on toast, and mashed sweet potato.

But that's it. He will not touch any "meal" type foods, no matter how mashed up or whether fed by spoon or finger food. He'll accept a couple of bites then push the food away. No pasta, cottage pie, casseroles, fish fingers and beans, meat or vegetables, jacket potatoes, etc.

He's recently started nursery which I hoped would help, but he is refusing all of the savoury meals he's served there, and filling up on fruit.

Is this normal? It's not a toddler phase as he's always been this way. I'm feeling a bit lost and not really sure how to help him.

Pretty normal but the trick is not to offer an alternative so cut right back on his milk, just 300 mls a day and if he pushes the food away, don't offer anything else.

It might take a couple of days of him complaining (possibly quite loudly) but once he realises that if he's hungry he needs to eat, there's nothing better on offer, he'll be ok

@BunnyRuddington

Pretty normal but the trick is not to offer an alternative so cut right back on his milk, just 300 mls a day and if he pushes the food away, don't offer anything else.

It might take a couple of days of him complaining (possibly quite loudly) but once he realises that if he's hungry he needs to eat, there's nothing better on offer, he'll be ok

Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it.

Would you go so far as to send them to sleep without having had dinner, if they refuse what's on offer? I always give him a big bowl of porridge as his dinner as it's my guaranteed way to ensure he doesn't wake up hungry too early. He often wakes up for the day pre-5am (that's a whole other thread that I need to write) so I dread the idea of him waking up hungry even earlier!

You could look on it another way. Load him up with calories earlier in the day, a big breakfast and make lunch his main meal. Skip out the afternoon snack to make sure he's hungry when it gets to teatime too.

If his lunch was his main meal though, would you be as worried if he only had a few mouthfuls?

I really wouldn't offer an alternative though, I'd just assume he's not hungry as children often eat lots some days and then eat like a bird on other days. I was always told to look at what they say over a week rather than an individual meal

Might sound obvious, but have you tried serving "meal" type foods alongside those that he already loves? E.g. fish fingers with scrambled eggs, a portion of cottage pie with a portion of greek yoghurt in the other compartment of those divided plates, etc? There is some sort of reassurance to a toddler if they have a food on the plate that they like (as "safe" food), which makes them more likely to try the other food, and you can be assured that they will at least eat something. Remember toddlers don't care if the food combinations are weird - they don't know!

I do the opposite to the poster above, though - I always offer an alternative at this age (DS is 12.5m but I previously nannied for twins aged 8m-2.5yr), and make the alternative a safe food too. I never want my son to feel he has to eat something he doesn't like, or that he HAS to eat at all if he isn't hungry. That being said, it is perfectly normal for toddlers to only eat 2 substantial meals a day with one being a bit smaller/more for trying out textures and tastes - so your son may just not be hungry by dinner time.

Another thing, are you eating with your son/eating the same things? I've always found that to be really helpful in encouraging toddlers to try different foods. E.g. DS was having a really fussy phase just before his birthday (his diet was mostly Greek yoghurt and cucumber), then all of a sudden at the table (high chair pulled right up, no tray) he started eating fish curry by the handful, the next day he devoured daal, the day after shepherd's pie. He obviously still refuses some meals and will have more fussy phases I'm sure - but I think it was bringing him right up to the table for family meals, being offered the same things as us really helped. but yes we do eat dinner at 5pm now

How are you getting on now Teal? Has there been any progress?

@pregnantncnc @BunnyRuddington Thank you both so much for taking the time to offer advice.

@pregnantncnc We did go through a phase of presenting savoury food alongside "safe" food such as fruit but he'd gobble up the fruit and not touch the savoury food! So I've reverted to offering the savoury thing first, but if it's rejected I'll usually end up giving him fruit or a bit of bread so that he's not too hungry, which is obviously reinforcing the idea that he can reject savoury food and be offered sweet, so it's not working too well. So yes, I might try again with offering both on one plate and see if we have better results this time.

I would love to be able to eat together as a family but I can't get the timings to work around naps and working hours at the moment. It's definitely a goal to aim for, as I can see it would be a positive thing. We do eat breakfast together. I was hoping nursery would have the same effect as all the babies eat together and I thought he might fall into line with them, but so far that's not happening. Maybe in time...

@BunnyRuddington slight progress in that he ate a few pieces of pasta (no sauce) today. He's always rejected pasta but he seemed to like it today so I'm hoping to be able to introduce it into our meal plans and build up his tolerance to sauces and bits of vegetable mixed in.

I realise my original post wasn't clear...when I said he's a breakfast boy I meant he loves breakfast type foods at ANY time of the day. He'll never say no to some fruit or brown bread! But won't really touch lunch/dinner type foods

His typical day looks like this:
6am milk feed
7am greek yoghurt or scrambled eggs, and brown toast
9am fruit snack (currently removed to try and see if he's more hungry for lunch, no luck yet)
11.15 lunch. Seems early but this is when nursery serve lunch and we are trying to align to keep some consistency. Usually rejects whatever is offered unless it's fruit.
3pm afternoon tea. Again trying to align with nursery timings. He rejects the food offered at nursery. At home I can sometimes get an omelette down him, as a way to sneak in some vegetables.
4.30 light snack and/or milk
6pm massive bowl of porridge with berries, banana and nut butter
7pm milk feed

That seems like quite a lot of meals...in one day.

Over the day he's eating enough from the sounds of it. Honestly I'd try not to worry too much. It sounds as though he'll get there in the end

I really don't think that's a bad day of food at all! I tend to work in the basis that my DS (who is 18 months) generally knows what he needs. Sometimes it's very fruit heavy, sometimes it's very carb heavy, sometimes he'll just eat peas. Personally, I wouldn't stress too much at all.

Sounds like you're feeding him a lot, I would probably try to stick with
breakfast
lunch
afternoon snack at 3pm
dinner at 6 as a family

If he hasn't eaten since a snack at 3 (I'd do something like half a piece of toast with some nutbutter and a small cup of milk) then he would probably be ready for a nice sociable dinner at 6.

One of my children is a similar eater, always a preference for sweet, snacky foods. They will eat a good breakfast and lunch, and then pick over a proper dinner in the evening. We always eat as a family though and eat proper food rather than just allowing kid meals. They have improved over time.
Look at what your child eats over the whole day/week - so long as they are having some veggies, dairy, protein and carbs over all it doesn't matter if they only have a few bites of dinner.

Yeah, I do think he's probably getting enough calories and nutrients so I'm not too worried from that perspective. It's more the lack of range and the rejection of anything resembling a savoury meal that is stressing me out, and the fact that he's rejecting all of his food at nursery apart from fruit.

I think the pandemic makes it all a bit harder as I feel alone in trying to navigate it. I imagine if we were able to do some playdates I'd see other babies rejecting their food and would be able to chat to the parents about it, and it might be easier to chill out about it

Thank you all, you have definitely helped to calm me! I know he'll get there in the end...

@TealGreen4321

Yeah, I do think he's probably getting enough calories and nutrients so I'm not too worried from that perspective. It's more the lack of range and the rejection of anything resembling a savoury meal that is stressing me out, and the fact that he's rejecting all of his food at nursery apart from fruit.

I think the pandemic makes it all a bit harder as I feel alone in trying to navigate it. I imagine if we were able to do some playdates I'd see other babies rejecting their food and would be able to chat to the parents about it, and it might be easier to chill out about it

If it makes you feel any better, DS went through a phase at about 16 months where he wouldn't eat anything at nursery. Not even his favourites. He also refused finger foods for a while and wanted to be spoonfed (having firmly rejected it during weaning). It gradually got better though and nursery, at least, found that if they just ignored him, he started to eat a bit. We did the same at home. If we were eating together, we'd just chat and ignore him. If he was in his high chair, I'd do something else at the same time like unload the dishwasher. Everything is a phase, everything passes!