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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

My 2 year old won’t eat

20 replies

xoxogossipgirl2020 · 23/08/2020 18:43

DS turns 2 tomorrow. He doesn’t eat anything at all. Not a single meal, nothing. At one point, all he would eat is porridge and tinned spaghetti....not the best, but better than nothing. Now, he eats nothing. There have been times when I’ve wondered if it’s an actual issue with swallowing food but he can manage chocolate so can’t be this. I’m starting to get worried now and I really just don’t know what else to do about it. He’s developing fine to look at, He’s big for his age and he isn’t underweight but I know he’s not getting what he needs. I’ve got my health visitor coming on Tuesday and she can give me all the suggestions in the world but he just isn’t interested and it’s making really anxious 😔

OP posts:
orangejuicer · 23/08/2020 18:44

Is he interested in food when you are eating? Would he steal it off you?

dementedpixie · 23/08/2020 18:45

What is he having instead of food?

doadeer · 23/08/2020 18:46

No real advice but just sympathy my 19m old is tricky - it's so tough for you .

Can you pinpoint the issue? Is it texture? Smell? Look? How long do you leave the food with him before admitting defeat?

For us I need to sometimes dip my finger in the sauce to get my son to just try it... He's still very hit and miss though.

doadeer · 23/08/2020 18:46

Is he still having regular milk?

xoxogossipgirl2020 · 23/08/2020 22:32

He’s still having milk, but only because even when I stop it. He just has nothing at all. Funnily enough, as soon as I wrote this thread, I tried him with porridge again and he ate it!!!! So it’s not that he doesn’t like it/has gone off of it/has an issue with texture or smell! That’s what’s so frustrating! He just normally screams blue murder if he sees me with his food. He has no interest in food. He’s worse when we sit him at the table and eat as a family. Doesn’t give a toss that we’re eating and doesn’t want it. I find it hard because I was a seriously fussy eater as a child, and people would tell my mum “she won’t starve!” - but I would have. Nothing would make me eat the food and I would choose starvation. I agave horrible memories of sitting at the table gagging when my ex step mother used to try and force me to eat whatever it was so I’m really conscious about the whole thing because I’ve been through it.

I don’t leave the food out. I try him with it and then remove it so as not to back a fuss/give it attention. It’s driving me mad

OP posts:
Akindelle · 23/08/2020 22:36

Three strategies work for me. One: cartoons distract him enough to make him stay in his seat and eat, albeit slowly. Two: feeding the food to a toy sometimes works, he literally licks the food out of the mouth of a plastic dog. Three: grazing on little snacky bits, one piece at a time while he’s playing (even better if he thinks he’s pinching it off my plate).

orangejuicer · 24/08/2020 02:59

Maybe try giving him more time with the food? Be careful not to project your experiences onto him.

Also what about smoothies as well as or in place of milk?

feelingsicknow · 26/08/2020 19:43

OP my son is 2 in two weeks and I feel the same as you. It's not physiological- he's just incredibly fussy and I feel like a total failure and not sure how we've got to this stage. He is also very small and I am so worried I've booked an appointment to see a paediatrician. I have no HV as we moved to a useless area which didn't replace our previous one who left and didn't pass on any case notes. Our GP doesn't offer weigh-in clinics and there are no children's centres open. I've booked a private paed in total desperation.
Problem is - he is totally full of energy so no one seems to think it's an issue except for me. I've told my husband that I'm going on strike from cooking as it's soul destroying to have every meal ignored and he should bloody well take over and see how he likes it.
I've tried all the usual suggestions and still no luck. He won't eat anything except toast, bread, sausages, meatballs, some courgette fritters (that was a recent fluke) and biscuits - which I have now withdrawn.
He used to have seconds sometimes at nursery and even they say now he's been very picky and refuses a lot (never the fruit or snacks, funnily enough).

OverTheRainbow88 · 26/08/2020 19:49

Food in front of tv? I offer fruit/veg with lunch and dinner which normally gets left... I keep it in the fridge and offer it all again that eve whilst watching tv and 90% of it gets eaten every day.

thinkingcapon · 26/08/2020 19:57

Can you reduce his milk intake ?

ReturnofSaturn · 26/08/2020 20:04

I'm having the same issues with my 2 and a half year old.

It's driven me to tears so so many times.

He's already had a referral put in to a paediatrician about a year ago but still waiting to be seen as suspected autism.

Been doing some research and found a medical leaflet online that had a chart with the differences between your common fussy eater toddler and an extreme eater. My son was in the extreme eating side.

It also said that a common reason for extreme eating issues was autism, which would fit for us.

It also mentioned about that normal tactics like 'leaving them to go hungry and eventually they will eat' may work for a common fussy eater but not extreme eater and so not to do this tactic for them as its dangerous as they will just starve themselves - - which we found out with our son.

ReturnofSaturn · 26/08/2020 20:05

Also, my son isn't as bad as your son, he does eat a handful of things, just extremely restricted and has been getting worse.

HappyPumpkin81 · 26/08/2020 20:10

I come from a family of fussy eaters. I was very picky and have memories of violently throwing up food after being force fed, and my mother rolling her eyes and tutting at my 8 year old cousin who would only eat white chicken and mashed potatoes. My daughter who is nearly 3 is very picky and selective with what she eats. She eats approximately 20 different foods but she doesn't eat sausages, she will only eat Tesco's finest pork and apple sausages. I am trying to manage it by putting no pressure on her to eat at all. I serve her dinner in front of the TV and let her eat what she likes if anything. I make sure she has one meal a day with something she likes so I know she is not going hungry but my overall goal is to have as stress free mealtimes as possible. She ate nothing tonight and we had a few tears and tantrums because she wanted one of her yogurts or her cereal bars but I just kept repeating your dinner is on the table, and after dinner there's no more food now until breakfast. I have the tv on at mealtimes as otherwise she cries all through dinner as soon as the plate is put in front of her and it makes me incredibly angry upset and frustrated and then I can't eat my dinner. According to my health visitor fussy eating is genetic and there is nothing that can be done. I didn't mind being hungry as a child but I hated the stress so that is why I have taken the path I have. If she is anything like me she'll start eating a wider range of foods in her 30's 🙁

lljkk · 26/08/2020 20:11

How much milk does he have each day, OP? How much does he weigh?

questionssquestions · 26/08/2020 20:17

Sounds like you need some professional help. Ask your GP if the health visitor isn't helpful. But while you wait for a referral, try reading up about using messy play to help food issues. So everything from having him help bake and cook to just playing with some cups and flour, or cereal, squishing cooked spaghetti, painting with ketchup, that sort of thing. My toddler once spent an afternoon putting olives in and out of his toy truck (I turned my back for a minute and the olives weren't really usable any more, so I let him get on with it). I doubt this would solve the problem on its own, but it might just help form some positive associations with food?

PixieStixMix · 26/08/2020 20:32

Having a similar issue with my 2.5 month old DD. She is awkward with most food but will nibble bits here and there, but most ends up with pasta based meals currently. A total 180 from weaning where she would eat anything.

I saw my HV last Thursday and her only real advise was to keep trying foods as toddlers need to see/smell/touch foods at least 20 times (🙄) to become familiar apparently.

I have found a good trick with my DD is to make the food I want her to eat and then pretend it’s my lunch, then she’s far more interested than if it was put in front of her.

Snowpaw · 12/09/2020 19:41

That sounds really hard. I have had phases of food refusal albeit not as extreme. I’ve tried to keep mealtimes as relaxed as I can, not really look at her whilst she’s eating and not stress if she doesn’t eat much. Just chat to her about the day etc. I also try not to give her any snacks in between meals and plenty of exercise so that she’s got a decent appetite. She definitely eats more when she’s ran around outside lots.

Does he show any interest in pastry? My girl likes to eat the pastry off the tops of various pies I make, then gradually has worked out that the inside is alright too so now eats quite a lot of her food in pastry topped form! Beef stew pies, chicken in cheese sauce pies, lamb stew pies. sometimes she eats basically gravy soaked pastry, other days will eat more of the filling.

What about yoghurt? Can stir in some nutritious additions eg ground almonds or chia seeds. Stewed fruit. Same with porridge, if he’ll eat that you can stir similar things in, or even scramble an egg into it whilst it’s cooking for extra protein.

a little blob of ketchup squirted on things (can get a reduced sugar / salt one) can make things more appealing. My girl ate a veg and cheese omelette yesterday that had a bit of ketchup on each piece, and she’d consistently refused veg in her omlette previously.

Food served in a big dish in middle of table sometimes works well for us too. E.G. a roast dinner - she will sometimes not touch the chicken on her plate but she’ll see dad tearing a leg off the bird on the table and she’ll reach out for it and will eat the chicken from centre of the table.

She won’t touch most veg on her plate at mealtimes but if we play “tea party” and I bring out a little plate of raw carrot or something for the bears then she gets quite interested and will try it and often eat quite a bit of it. Maybe she feels less pressure in that situation.

lambo88 · 12/09/2020 19:50

Hi Hun I have a little boy who eats well but wanted to share what I was like when I was little...I literally would be the same as ur little one and lived off fresh air, toast and spaghetti hoops...my parents tried so much to get me to eat but I wouldn't...many times I can remember being forced to eat and being sat at the table for ages...I think in year 9 I weighed 4 stone...when I was little I wouldn't and couldn't have a poo for around 2 weeks and many times we were at the doctors and me being given some black medicine to make me go...it honestly won't last as you should see me now xx

Claire123ee · 15/10/2024 13:55

xoxogossipgirl2020 · 23/08/2020 18:43

DS turns 2 tomorrow. He doesn’t eat anything at all. Not a single meal, nothing. At one point, all he would eat is porridge and tinned spaghetti....not the best, but better than nothing. Now, he eats nothing. There have been times when I’ve wondered if it’s an actual issue with swallowing food but he can manage chocolate so can’t be this. I’m starting to get worried now and I really just don’t know what else to do about it. He’s developing fine to look at, He’s big for his age and he isn’t underweight but I know he’s not getting what he needs. I’ve got my health visitor coming on Tuesday and she can give me all the suggestions in the world but he just isn’t interested and it’s making really anxious 😔

Hi how are things now ?

PolaroidPrincess · 16/10/2024 17:58

@Claire123ee you might get the OP's attention if you try an @?

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