13 month old not interested in food

[Kcoffecakebubs]

So, my DS has been very hit and miss with food ever since we started weaning at 5 months. But it's always been more of a miss. I've kept telling myself he will come round, but it seems to be getting worse and it's starting to really stress me and my husband out. I'm worried he's not getting enough of what he needs and I have no idea what to do.

Today was a pretty standard day: Breakfast - half a piece of buttered toast, and a smoothie blend of rusk, milk and fruit. 7oz bottle of milk around 11am. Lunch-Greek yoghurt, some baby Veggie crisps, 3 spoons of curry, fruit pouch. Afternoon snack - wafer and baby crisps snacks, fruit pouch. 4oz milk. Dinner - fruit pouch, 5 spoons of chili, half a piece of toast, custard pudding, rusk. 12oz milk before bed.

I know he's having too much milk really, but it's always after food. And I'm guessing because he's hungry as he isn't eating enough.

He's always refused what I've made for him, and occasionally will finish a whole bowl of shop bough baby food (curry, mac and cheese etc), but this is more a once a week thing. We try all sorts of shop bought and homemade meals, Roasted veg, potatoes, muffins etc- but most of the time he won't even pick it up let alone eat it, and he fights a spoon. I'm just starting to get to my wits end I'm worried about his nutrition.

Any ideas, tips, reassurance, hand holds welcome before I go and cry again!

The amount he’s eating sounds normal to me? I don’t think all babies wolf down huge meals. My son is 15 months and is still on and off with solids - he eats well at about one in three or four meals.

The only comment is that I think 3 fruit pouches a day is far too much. They’re quite sugary and won’t help him learn to eat real fruit. Does he like soft fruit like strawberries, mango, satsumas etc? That would be better.

I suggest following Kids Eat in Color on instagram for excellent advice on feeding children.

That sounds like an awful lot of sugar between the rusks, the custard pudding and fruit pouches. Sugar makes me feel quite bloated and sluggish so maybe cut down

There's an awful lot of sugar there with multiple fruit pouches, custard and rusks.

I'd also drop the pouches.

I'm no dietician but I've had 3 kids and have 3 good eaters.

Get a baby multivitamin, careful with the ones with iron in (can cause constipation). Then you can relax a little bit, baby is getting a wee boost and you can focus on enjoying food together a little bit more.

2 of mine dropped baby milk when on regular meals, 1 didn't. All are growing and strong. Just keep putting out balanced meals and let baby explore. Unless there's weight loss or not meeting milestones (in which case GP) try not worry, they self regulate when small.

If your baby will eat stronger flavours like curry and chilli I bet you'll get there soon enough and won't have a fussy eater.

Ah you definitely have a handhold here as I’ve been there! DS was a terrible eater ever since we started weaning after 6m, at around 10m he would basically eat toast / fruit pouches / yoghurt and any sort of crisp snack. That was IT. I used to really try to encourage spoon feeding as I liked the idea of knowing how much he was eating, but I should’ve taken more notice of the signs from early on that he just really hated being spoon fed. In the end, when he was 10m we contacted a private dietician as we just didn’t know what else to do. She saw immediately that he just didn’t want to be spoon fed, so we just curbed that instantly and focussed on self feeding. The main takeaway points were this:

• you decide what to serve, baby decides how much they want to eat (they’re far more capable of regulating intake than we realise)
• if they decide not to eat anything, DONT offer an alternative. Even if you think they’ll go hungry. Babies appetite doesn’t restart every 24 hours like adults does, just because they had a small lunch and dinner, doesn’t mean they’ll wake up hungry in the night
• try not to rely on “safe foods” (eg yoghurt, rice pudding etc) and let them fill up on these. The goal here is to encourage him to an adventurous eater and enjoy eating, and in order to do that he needs to have the appetite to want to eat. He won’t have that if he’s full on milk and sugary fruit pouches.
• by 12m babies really don’t need to be having any daytime milk. They need to learn that food can fill them up the same way that milk can
• eat together as much as possible, and the same things. If you serve baby pasta, have a mini bowl of pasta yourself and sit there eating it very obviously in front of them. Describe what you’re eating but don’t encourage them to “like it” eg avoid saying mmmm yummy as baby needs to decide for themselves that they like it, so just describe it. Mummy’s eating pasta, it’s white and chewy and circular etc
• it can sometimes take between 15/20 times of offering before a new food is accepted. Just continue offering regularly and let baby take their time
• if he spits it out or makes funny faces, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it, it just means it’s a new taste / texture
• last but not least, try to relax! Babies can really pick up on your stress and anxiety, and you want mealtimes to be happy and enjoyable. And remember, it’s not your fault. He WILL get there, you just have to give him some time

(DS is now 14 months and when I say he will eat anything, I truly mean ANYTHING. As long as he can feed it to himself, it’s fair game. It was a long road but we got there, and you will too!)

@mrsmummy111 - thanks, I need a handhold. It seems crisps, toast and yoghurt are the firm favourites and its hard to not just give him this at every meal. He'd definitely not get through the day without any milk though.

@SharpieInThe, I'm hoping he won't end up fussy as the things he does like tend to be the stronger flavoured things like chili and curry, he's less keen on more traditional meals. He has the multivitamin that we get from the children's centre, so he has that every day already.

I understand what everyone is saying about the fruit, but I figured it's better for him to get some fruit than nothing? He's definitely not sluggish - he NEVER stops moving! He won't eat 'real fruit' - tried all sorts, he gets offered it every day and won't eat it, won't even put it in his mouth. So it's becoming a real food/money waste exercise. I do get the sugar free rusks so hopefully that helps.

He had his 12 month assessment with the health visitor on the phone, and he's hitting all his milestones. I also weighed him today and he's over the 99.6th centile line, so weight isn't a problem. He's been over the 99.6th for weight and height since 9 months.

I just feel like such a failure when we can't get him to eat. It just doesn't seem much for his size and activity level running about all day.

Is the sugar in the rusks not replaced with fruit juice and have just as much sugar in them as normal ones? You'd be as well giving a digestive biscuit.

My 13 month old is exactly the same! Never been a big eater just nibbles and some days doesnt care at all, some days has 1 bottle and other days 3-4! I'm not getting stressed about it spesh atm with no proper routine (wfh etc) shes also chubby but only takes 7oz at a time.

@dementedpixie thanks for ignoring the fact they I was looking for help and a bit of reassurance and just having a go. To be fair if he'd eat a digestive biscuit I'd go for it right now. He's on track to be on 100% milk again soon at this rate.

@Needingsupportplease I wish I could not get stressed, but thank you, its good to see I'm not the only one in a similar position. He's a bit like that too with his milk, sometimes 2 bottles, sometimes 5 a day. Fingers crossed they'll get there eventually!

@Kcoffecakebubs - honestly, we had almost the exact same routine as you at 10m and I basically got stuck in a rut where I just gave him everything he liked as it was easier than getting myself upset after lovingly preparing a meal, only for it to be chucked on the floor. However, giving him milk after his meal is serving absolutely no purpose whatsoever. He’s 13 months and becoming very well aware of the fact that he doesn’t need to eat something new and confusing because he’s just going to get his yummy familiar milk afterwards. There’s no incentive to try anything new, and with that much milk during the day he’ll have very little appetite regardless of what you try to give him. The reason he will eat the same things is because it’s familiar and yummy. If you truly want to encourage him to eat, you obviously need to make a few changes and I would start with the milk. Maybe try to reduce it down if you don’t feel comfortable stopping it altogether. DS started nursery at 11m and was still a very iffy eater at that point. They don’t give milk during the day unless the parents request it, but I told them to play it by ear and see if he needed it. He ate almost nothing at first but they still didn’t give him milk, and he was still happy and content even without the milk. Genuinely at 13 months he doesn’t need such a huge quantity of milk and sugary fruit pouches. You started this thread as you obviously want to see what you can do to try to help the situation, and that’s my advice from someone who’s been there and done it.

Your timings struck me- 11am bottle and 4pm bottle? When are you giving him lunch and tea? Aim for 12pm lunch, and 5pm tea and two hours between for bottles (10 and 2 ish)- maybe make 1oz smaller so he does have a hunger at mealtimes. He's only 13 months, he doesn't need food as he has so much milk, have a look at social media for making food fun! I am excited to try grounding up Cheerios into granules for sensory play, if he eats it, it's a new taste! Try not to stress- my six year old still loves a fruit pouch

Have you tried just cutting back on milk completely? It might be a vicious circle

Thank you @mrsmummy111 thinking about it, when I said today was normal, it was more the food than milk. His usual milk is about 6oz at 11am and then his bedtime bottle. We've never managed to get it less than that, but the health visitor seemed to think that was fine. I will try and get it down more, I think we've got a bit lapse on it lately as we're all at home 24/7 and it's been the easier option when he's refusing food but then crying hungry. But I take it on board.

@ZoChan thank you. As just mentioned, the 4pm bottle isn't actually usual. But the 11am one is prior to his nap, which is usually 11-12.30ish then he has lunch about 13.30. Dinner then is normally about 17.30. Most days he doesn't actually have a bottle between the two, even if he's hardly eaten lunch. I'll have a look at making it fun, that sounds like something good for us all!

@SomeoneElseEntirelyNow we have tried this a few times, and he still didn't eat, so it didn't seem to matter. Unusually, yesterday he ate a whole bowl of spaghetti bolognese, and that was an hour after a bottle, so it baffles me whether being full on milk makes any difference?!

Each child is different dd 18 months eats the same or more than ds 3.

Your ds will get there I'm sure. I'd reduce the day time bottles by 1oz and see how you go with amount of food then. I'd also offer a snack before the 11am bottle. Don't forget that just because they turned it down a month ago doesn't mean that they'll never eat it so try and persevere with offering fruit. Good if you can offer a bit of yours when you're eating it.

Also both of mine went through a stage that they'd turn down any food being spoon fed especially dd as she is miss independent but what did work was have 2 spoons and load them for her and let her feed herself and load the empty spoon each time. Exception has always been yogurt as they'll let me spoon that so it get in the mouth quicker.

One of the things that has struck me about my ds is how little food he seems to need, to have seemingly boundless energy. He's 2 1/2 now, but we started baby led weaning just before 6 months. He was on 97th centile then, and still is now, despite only eating three mouthfuls of dinner some days. We give him cows milk now, rather than formula, but he still has a drink of milk when he first gets up, before his nap and when he goes to bed. His dad and his aunty, dh's sister, were brought up in south africa and copious amounts of milk were a staple of their family life.

In terms of the food, as pp have said, it can take several tries to decide whether you really don't like something. It's also really easy to slip into food times being very stressful, I've had to work very hard to keep meal times low stress. My approach is to put food down in front of DS and let him decide to eat it or not. If it's something he's enjoyed before, which he leaves, I assume he's just not hungry. If it's something new, I will offer an alternative or, some toast if he doesn't eat. Given that we have wet and dirty nappies on a regular basis, I assume he's getting some nutrition and fuel.

We also sit at the table to eat, and eat all together as much as possible. We also make sure he has a drink of water with dinner, and a cup with him all the time during the day. Other than that. we keep it low key, if he kicks off or throws his dinner on the floor, it's taken away and offered to him again when he's calmed, or we continue to 'have a conversation' while he grumbles, leading by example that at dinner time we sit at the table, chat, eat dinner and have a drink, but not engaging with any tantruming. It's hard sometimes, but usually he comes around, and gives his food a go eventually.

If he likes yoghurt he’ll also like home made almond / walnut ‘cream’ (you just wizz a bunch of nuts with water to make a thick paste). If he likes toast then pimp it up with cheeses / hummus / avocado. If he likes fruit then offer the pouches only as a dip with nutrient dense veg - eg brocolli / sweet potato / beetroot etc

Just wanted to reassure you on a few points.

Firstly, your DS is a lot keener on food than my DD was; at 15 months we kept a food diary - one day reads '1/4 of a cracker and 6 cheerios'; so few I could count them!

Secondly, milk has plenty of calories (and other nutrients) in it; at one year DD was enormous, and it wasn't because of her solid food intake! If your DS's diet is very limited, it's worth getting vitamins into him - we did it via toddler formula; you can get vitamin drops as well, though the ones I found didn't taste great.

Thirdly, I too was very stressed. Over time I managed to get less stressed, and just decided that DD could drink milk if she wanted. She does eat solids now, though she's still incredibly fussy. But there's something from every food group in her diet, so that's probably OK.

Hope that helps.

I think if you worked on getting rid of the 11am bottle and the rusks you'd be doing pretty well. Hopefully that would increase the amount he eats at lunchtime. But honestly I think he's doing okay - I'm only saying to get rid of the rusks because they're of no nutritional value and they're just filling him up. I also wouldn't offer toast at dinner time, and only offer one sweet thing (preferably fruit). If DD snacked she wouldn't eat her meals either - maybe try cutting the afternoon snack or making it much smaller? Also try putting peanut butter or something similar on his toast in the morning - filling and more protein / good fats.

There's quite a lot if flavours in there too. Perhaps you could cut back to some basics, and don't keep offering. So for example give him toast/cream cheese on toast for breakfast. Let him eat as much as he edges, then done. 3 hours later offer a snack - bowl of chopped fruit or tomatoes and cheese and dine. Lunch 2 hours after that, spag Bol and a yogurt if he enjoys it, snack again after 2 hours followed by tea. Breaded chicken and homemade ketchup, or sausage/ fish fingers and mash and beans, Simple baby muffin or biscuit. Milk for bed.

Leave the curry and chilli for now and just take a step back. Be consistent in timings and flavours for a few days and see how he does.

Also if his weight is stable and he's got energy then he's getting enough calories so try not to worry! I think it's less about getting him to eat more and more about shifting the balance towards more texture and away from milk and fruit purees.

In which case @Kcoffecakebubs - 2 bottles a day seems fair. I think it’s more the timing (as other PP have pointed out). The 11am bottle seems to be messing things up as milk is incredibly filling, he’s then sleeping and not burning any of it off and therefore presumably not hungry enough for lunch. Could you play with timings? DS also sleeps from 11:30-2/2:30 most days and these are our timings:
7am/7:30 - 5oz bottle (he would take far more but I limit it)
8:30 - breakfast
11am - lunch
2:30 - snack
5pm - dinner
6:45 - 10 oz bottle
Bed at 7

Also as other PP have said, I think it’s far less about getting him to eat lots of food (some people, kids and adults alike, just have small appetites) and more about branching out and discouraging the fussy eating. Exploring and introducing new tastes and textures and a shift towards eating more “normal” food. You’re the only one that can encourage that as you choose what to serve. And remember, don’t be disheartened if he’s not interested at first. The only way he will ever become familiar and more enthusiastic about new foods is by you continually offering them. He won’t become familiar with things by being offered it once and then never again.

Thank you everyone, I think the idea of trying to ge thim to try more foods than eat a bigger volume might be a great way for my to think about it. Hopefully this will make me less stressed about it.

I have tried a lot of the foods mentioned in the last few threads often, with no success. But I'll keep trying. And perhaps lunch before his nap might be a good Idea, I hadn't really thought about that @mrsmummy111, although I know I can't offer a bottle when he wakes up as when we did this it resulted in no breakfast at all!

He drinks quite a lot of water too, and nappies are all good, so hopefully he is actually getting enough, but maybe it just doesn't seem like it.

Thanks for the reassurance and some possitive suggestions and ideas.

Maybe breakfast first then if he likes breakfast and there’s lots of bread related breakfasts that are great and also may help you feel better if you know he’s had a decent breakfast (toast with almond butter, eggy bread with different berries, blueberry pancakes, toast with mashed avocado), then milk afterwards if you feel like he needs it. But leave a good gap between that and lunch @ 11. Honestly I know how stressful it can be and I convinced myself DS would never eat. I thought he’d be one of those kids who will only eat chicken nuggets from McDonald’s and specific wraps from Aldi but the fact that DS eats something is positive and you’ve got plenty of time to take it slowly and just encourage where you can. Best of luck