At breaking point with feeding

[Gemedin89]

Hi. I think I am at my breaking point with feeding my 9 month old baby and could really do with some reassurance

Some background:
Feeding him has been a struggle from birth, he’s never been very good with milk. I was so excited to start weaning to get rid of the stress of trying to give him bottles. Started weaning at 5.5mths and it started off well (fruit/veg purées). As he got a bit older I offered bits of fruits and vegetables (not mashed) and he seemed to be starting off well with these. Moved on to lumpier meals, still blended but not as smooth and again he seemed to be doing fine.

Then we hit 7 months and it’s as if he suddenly went on hunger strike. 2 months later and things don’t seem to be getting any better. He literally will not eat! He doesn’t even drink formula so I’ve had to switch early to oat milk (CMPA baby) which panics even more - if he was downing bottles of formula I think I could relax a bit. The only thing I can get him to take at the moment is yogurt!!

I feel like I have tried everything:
Changing the timing of meals, changing where I feed him, highchair vs no highchair, I’ve given him a spoon, tried finger foods (he struggles with hand to mouth coordination which is being investigated already), let him play with the food (he’s fine touching it so I don’t think it’s a sensory issue), tried feeding him meals that are just chopped rather than mashed, tried pouches, homemade, my mums homemade, changed the temperature of the food incase he just doesn’t like it warm but NOTHING IS WORKING.

I honestly feel like I’m at breaking point, I dread every meal time, I feel like it’s all I can think about and I’m just so worried all the time that I feel sick and have headaches every day.

I can’t think of anything I haven’t tried but if you can then please give me any suggestions. More than anything I’m just desperate to find someone that has gone through this and has come out the other side. Any positive stories?

I should add he has 2 bottom teeth and I can see one of the top 2 poking through. I did wonder if it was teething but surely that couldn’t stop him eating for this long? There’s no other symptoms.

It’s as if he isn’t hungry at all. He just won’t eat 😔

Thanks for reading xx

I had the most awful time with ds. He had real difficulties with eating so I think our situation was different to yours.

My ds will/would play with food but not eat it. He does have sensory issues but I think he became scared of food and that is what mostly caused our problems. Also his fine motor skills were not good and I think chewing and moving food around his mouth was difficult.

I found a couple of meals that he liked and that is mainly what he ate. It was food he would tolerate and food that was predictable, no surprises. We also spoke to dietitians about it.

He didn't change.

I’m sure this is a thing actually. I remember when my little one was younger and weaning and when she went on a hunger strike and I came on here (back in the day when it was about advice and help) and I read it’s very common and nothing to worry about.

It could be that your DC is teething so usually that can put them off feeding.

With my son it was that he no longer wanted “baby food”. I had a habit (as I’m sure a lot of us parents do) but I would give him little bites and nibbles of my food when I was eating. After a while he got so used to MY food he no longer wanted baby meals. So I would give him the exact same meal as mine but a smaller portion. If your DC is able to hold foods now then he should be able to hold small bugs of his meal and he will chew and bite and nibble until his satisfied.
Example: our Sunday dinner I would give him the same food on his baby plate and let him eat it in his high chair at the table by himself. He could hold a chicken leg and would nibble and bite it. He loved it. Made him feel grown up at the big table and eating the same as everyone else and also it got him used to eating and enjoying food.

Obviously I’m sure you know if I’m the food is an obvious hazard or risk then continue to cut up.

@ForrestFlame thanks for replying.

Can I ask how old your ds is now? You say he didn’t change - does that mean he still isn’t wanting to eat?

If I could find meals that he will tolerate, I will happily feed him them every day! Unfortunately I just can’t find anything other than yoghurt at the moment.

Thanks

@CtrlU thanks for replying.

I really really really hope it is a ‘thing’ as I can deal with that better rather than me worrying that there’s something wrong with him and that he’s the only baby to do this!

I have tried that and will keep trying but the problem is he won’t put anything to his mouth. He will happily hold and play with food, he’ll wave it around and look at it but will not put it to his mouth. A couple of times I have tried to lead his hand to his mouth with it but he just closes his mouth tight and looks away. I don’t want to force it as I don’t want to make him scared of food or anything like that.

I did wonder about teething, I just feel like it’s gone on too long now to be that! (He’s my first so I don’t have experience so could be wrong)

Thanks for reading and replying x

@Gemedin89

I get you totally. But try not to worry too much. For the first 12 months - children get MOST of the nutrition they need from milk anyway so I’m sure if he was really hungry he would eat. I do think it’s teething though so continue to persevere. Once the tooth that’s growing has cut through I’m sure he will be back to grazing and bubbling as normal

Nibbling as usual *

[quote CtrlU]@Gemedin89

I get you totally. But try not to worry too much. For the first 12 months - children get MOST of the nutrition they need from milk anyway so I’m sure if he was really hungry he would eat. I do think it’s teething though so continue to persevere. Once the tooth that’s growing has cut through I’m sure he will be back to grazing and bubbling as normal[/quote]
Thank you x

If you are worried can you weigh him? If he's putting weight on that's all that matters. I use my bathroom scales, weigh myself (eek!) Then get on with the baby and the difference is her weight. Not perfect, but I can see she's putting weight on every month. Pp is right, they mostly need milk/formula until 1 anyway, any food that eat is a bonus!

Teething only ever put DS off his food for a few days, and as you say, your DD has been off his a lot longer. At the worst, we used to give DS painkillers about 30 min before one meal time a day, so he would at least eat something once a day. It might be worth a try, if it doesn't help at least you'd know pain isn't the problem.

It might be worth posting on one of the CMPA Facebook support groups if you are on Facebook. There used to regularly be posts about babies not eating in the group I was on (allergy link?) so you might be able to get some good advice on DF things to try. Are you excluding soya as well?

If he likes the milky taste of yoghurt, Violife do a dairy free creamy cheese spread which went down very well with DD at about that age. Oatly also do an oat creme fraiche (Tesco's have it, no idea about anyone else) that has a creamy flavour, we use instead of creme fraiche as a pasta sauce which DD loved. I'm assuming you've tried porridge with no luck but Readybrek makes a very smooth porridge and is fortified so covers off a lot of their nutrient needs if you can get it in.

You should have a paediatric dietitian- have you spoken to them?

Hi @Toastiemaker thanks for replying. He was weighed 2 weeks ago while we were at a hospital appointment and they weren’t concerned. He’s always quite low on the graph but following his own line. I’ll use your trick to weigh him again soon and check he’s still going that way x

@Duckchick thanks for replying.
Exactly - I thought it was teething at first but days became weeks and now months so I just don’t know. I would love it to be the reason so I know there’s an end but it’s been going on so long.

I am on a CMPA Facebook group and it is really useful but this doesn’t seem to be allergy related as it just seems to be food in general (minus yogurt) rather than dairy free. We are avoiding soya - he seemed fine with soya yogurts at first but then I noticed a build up reaction so cut it out.

I offer readybrek most mornings and it seems to depend on the day if he has a few spoonfuls or none at all. Also have the oatly creme fraiche which was such a good find and I was so pleased about but unfortunately he won’t eat so haven’t been able to tell if he likes it. Do you mean just pasta with that? I’ll definitely give it another try!! X

@Selfsettling3 hi, thanks for replying.
I do have a dietician but she’s not been any help. I asked/begged/cried for help when he wouldn’t take formula to both her and my health visitor and got nothing apart from “well it’s really important he gets it/he needs to take more” etc which didn’t help as he was refusing. I spoke to her again a few weeks before lockdown and said I was still struggling (things weren’t as bad as they are now) and still just got told to “give more”. I haven’t contacted her about this because I can’t bear to be told that again when I feel like that’s all I’m trying to do already x

That’s a very disappointing response from them. Definitely try Facebook CMPA allergy groups.

Sorry, with the allergy related I meant I wondered if food aversions are more common in allergy babies for some reason, maybe because they learn to associate food with discomfort? There certainly seemed to be more posters than I'd expect who had weight gain issues with babies who were on solids but just didn't want to eat them.

I meant pasta with the oatly as a sauce, we do put other veg in too but DD mostly ate just the pasta. The only other trick I know to get a reluctant eater to eat is to distract them by changing where you feed them - out in the garden (good as mess less of an issue) or in the living room in front of the telly.

If he likes the texture of yoghurt then try avocado blended with tofu, olive oil, egg yolk, and poached chicken. It has a similar texture. I personally turn it into pancakes with a bit of flour for my DS but you could feed it to him directly as a puree.