At wits end with 1 year old not eating and throwing his food

[Moonshine160]

The title says it all really, I know some of this might sound trivial but I’ve had a cry in the bathroom tonight because I just don’t know what to do.

My 13 month old is a happy boy, sleeps well, 50th centile for weight and 91st for height. Meal times have always been a battle, but not in the sense that he gets upset or anything like that, he’s perfectly happy in his high chair but just won’t eat. It’s literally like he’s never hungry. People keep telling me it’s a phase but he’s thrown food from his high chair since he was 6 months old.

If I try and spoon feed him he won’t open his mouth or pushes my hand away. If I put food on his tray for him to feed himself it gets thrown on the floor and then he points and laughs at the food on the floor. If I give him a spoon and show him how to eat then he takes no notice and just bangs the spoon on the high chair like it’s a drum.

When he throws food I’ve tried putting it back on his tray but it gets thrown again. I’ve removed the food completely and tried feeding him again an hour later but the same thing occurs. I’ve told him ‘no’ but he doesn’t stop. He’s been obsessed with throwing toys or food from his high chair onto the floor ever since we started weaning. He does it repeatedly and then leans out the high chair staring at it and laughing. I thought it was a phase but it’s been going on months. I’ve tried everything I can - I sit and eat with him at meal times and try to encourage him but hes not interested. Tonight I’ve been scraping kiwi fruit off the walls. Sometimes the only way to get him to eat is by sitting him on the living room floor with his toys and putting food in his mouth with my hands when he’s distracted. I know this isn’t sending him the right message but I don’t know what else to do to get him to eat. He does know how to pick the food up and feed himself because on the odd occasion he will do it if it’s something he really likes like raspberries or omelette, and he has a good pincer grip because he’ll pick up individual grains of rice and eat those. If he’s literally eaten nothing during the day then I’ll offer him a pouch of baby food - again I know I shouldn’t do this but I don’t want him to have literally no food in the day. He then drinks the pouch like it’s a Capri Sun!

It’s like he’s never hungry but surely he must be as he only has around 15oz milk a day now and never near to a meal time. I think the reason this stresses me out so much is that I’ve always been a picky eater - not so much now compared to when I was a child. When I was a child I had a phobia of trying new foods and anything that was lumpy. Social situations around food used to make me anxious and miserable and I really don’t want the same for my son and I’m scared that’s what will happen.

Sorry for the long post. Does anyone have any advice on how to improve this, or even just reassurance that this will pass?

He obviously enjoys the pouches so maybe give him one a day of those. Have you tried the squeezy yogurts too? He might like them. Continue with the foods he really likes like raspberries and omelette. Add things from time to time to see what he likes. If feeding in the high chair isn't working let him pick from a low table maybe? The main thing is not to show you are bothered by this.

I had a fussy grazer too and I just gave her what she would eat, wherever she would eat it. She is a strapping 22 yo woman now who eats almost anything so I would say for most children this phase does pass, although I am aware it's not the same for all children.

Don't make an issue of it, just put a plate of food in front of him, and ignore everything he does. Sit there and eat your own lunch and chat away about anything and everything else except food. Mealtime is over when you've finished yours and his is all on the floor. Calmy get up, take him out of the high chair, and then without comment, clear up the mess.

At the moment, every time he throws something on the floor he gets a reaction from you and it's an amusing game to him. He currently associates food with play. You need to break that cycle.

Don't worry about him not getting enough nutrition - a week or so trying this will do him no harm at all and with any luck he might one day decide to put something in his mouth.

You could try putting him on the floor for dinner instead of the highchair. DN loved dropping and throwing things too but, as we found out, only from a height; too boring when she was on the floor so she tried to eat. Another thing to try is Japanese style cute meals in divided plates that look like animals

Could you recreate the pouch experience?
I'm thinking really liquidising whatever you are having for dinner and putting it in an icing tube and squeezing it in.
I know it wouldn't be a long term solution but it might mean he eats a bit more and it would be a lot cheaper than shop bought pouches.
I haven't done this, I just thought it might be worth a shot.

Sorry to hear you are stressed about this. Throwing food is very normal for his age group though. My DC does the same. It doesn't mean they're not hungry, it's an experiment and it's fun.

The best way to deal with this is floor picnics. Make a little picnic for you both on a rug on the carpet and do some "baby tapas" with a few different things to try. 3 is fine. Try to make these things savory - little chunks of cheese, steamed broccoli, "popcorn" chicken (literally just tiny pieces of grilled chicken).

I know it's tempting to just give a pouch but they are usually full of blended fruit or sugars. So it makes the situation worse and worse as the child becomes more used to sweet tasting food than savory. They also learn quickly that if they don't eat their dinner they get a treat.

Try to remember he is a good weight and when he's hungry, he will eat. Maybe if you tell yourself you'll try 3 days with no pouches you'd feel better about it?

My child is a similar age and often will eat either lunch or dinner. I still offer both. If they don't eat it I just calmly take it away and carry on as usual. I don't give any snacks, just move dinner slightly earlier.

Hope this helps x

Another one here against pouches for a lot of reasons but the main one is that they make you develop a taste for food that doesn't exist. Who cooks spinach with blueberries, or carrots and apples together. These food combinations are artificial and also lead to a taste of processed food, because a home made apple+carrots doesn't not taste like pouche. There is the high temperature, high pressure and so on.

Eating is the end of a process which involves all senses. The child see the ingredients being picked from fridge, hears the cutting and pots, smell the food as it cooks and so on. Maybe pick him up in your arms from time to time while food is cooking and let him observe.

Pouches also encourage sucking vs chewing and digestion starts in the mouth so you are skipping a whole process there.

Now this said, how can we help you.

1. throwing. No. This is just to get a reaction. Don;t let him reach fro the plate and if he does, keep poker face and no eye contract, take him off the chair, on his mat, with a book or toy and turn you back while you clean.

2. Distractions . Yes, but in the high chair, and a book, or two pieces of lego never ever do screens, you would be digging yourself a deep hole.

3. in the hours hours prior to meals, nothing should be given but water. NOT a single cracker or grape or sip of juice. The stomach needs to be empty for the stomach juices and nerves to send signal to the brain. A single bite can mess up this signal.

4. make nice food. I am French and my paediatrician insisted I should never give my kids something I wouldn't;t eat myself. Risottos are very easy to make and you can add your vegetables, or soups, which can be more or less blended and then you add some parmesan.

Your son is very active which is perfectly fine, but you are teaching him there are moments in which he needs to learn to be still, such as meal times, reading times and so on. You are teaching right and wrong as much as teaching him to enjoy food. Throwing kiwi at a wall is wrong and you can say a stern "no" . You will teach him to cross the road, and he will try to run and laugh when you say no, so it starts with the small things.
You don't do a battle, you educate.

If you want him to develop a taste for veggies, give him veggies, if you want to keep him away from fake foods, don't give him pouches or at the very least, squeeze the pouch in a bowl and give it to him with a spoon.