BLW: tell me it's worth it

[nangnangnang]

Been at this BLW business for 4 months now (DS 10 ms). He occasionally eats well (usually for his CM out of necessity) but I'd say he's still 80% BF the rest of the time. This evening he played with dinner as usual but ate nothing and I gave in to my frustration and spooned some of that Plum baby slop into him. And he loved it.

Someone please give me strength to persevere. I want to want to carry on but temptation comes in pureed form.

....and did he take less milk having had some plum baby?

I personally think it's well worth it and my DD is the same - sometimes she eats and lots of the time she plays but her weight is fine and she has a lovely time squelching etc! She is noticeably more dectrous than her non BLW peers and also has a MUCH broader spectrum of what she will eat and the beauty is that they have to go through this process anyway and the sooner they feed themselves, the more it gives them confidence and control over at least one thing in their otherwise helpless lives. We all learn to eat at some point, so may as well just get on with it IMO. DD loves sitting on my hip, watching me cook and then when I taste it to see if it tastes ok etc, she has to have a taste and then I put her in the highchair and she gets so excited. It feels like quality mum and daughter time!

I like the idea of giving babies lots of finger food and I can see the idea of letting them eat their first foods because their digestive system develops at the same rate...but o you know what? I simply don't get the need to feed finger food ALL the time after the first few weeks. there is nothing wrong with feeding babies mashed/pureed foods, and there is no evidence whatsoever that says otherwise.

ps dd was entirely spoon fed and she has always eaten a very braod spectrum of food. much like ds2, who has a mixture of finger food and mashed stuff.

also I don't know what plum baby is, but making your own mashed foods to feed your baby is very easy.

why do you think he will eat more if you spoon it in? babies are terribly good at clamping their mouths tightly shut

also, food is for fun, until you are one ! milk is still the main source of nutrition for the first year

relax

he will eat when he is good and ready

some children take longer to get into food than others

check out the forum on Aitch;s BLW site for lots more help

BLW

lulumama - my babies all ate more if I spooned it in. all that chewing and grabbing is hard work. yes, sometimes they clamp their mouths shut too but that's another thing.

loads of bf babies take ages to take to solids cos bf is fab, they love it and get what they need from it. if you're going to do blw you have to just go with this. have you read the gill rapley stuff? so you know the background of it. it isn't for everyone and if you feel appier doing spoon feeding or spoonfeeding with finger foods or whatever then do that.

of course

however, a baby who is not massively hungry will be getting lots of goodness from breastmilk, and the food is a complement to that

he might eat more puree, and take less milk

also, some days babies eat more / less than other days , regardless of whether it is puree or finger food

i thikn the key, either way is to relax, and let mealtimes be times for learning about food, eating with the family, rather than eating vast quantities

if BLW not working for teh OP, then no harm switching to puree, but if she wants more help, then it is there on the site.

precisely, norah, if you don't want to just do finger foods, don't. it's not a religion.
isn't it interesting that he eats for the CM, the little blighter, so basically as long as you're there he's expressing a preference for BM... grrrr.
i suppose the acid test will be if he does take less BM as a result of the puree and at the end of the day it's up to you. if you're knackered BFing i can understand the temptation.
Otoh, like lulu says it's true that some children do take longer than others, so it could click at any minute. or there's even the other explanation... you're a terrible cook!
best of luck, whatever you decide to do, it needs to work for all of you imo.

BabyDragon (19months) has always been fucking contrary very choosy about how and what she eats. You can do both BLW and spoons. Or you can finger feed your baby yourself (DD certainly gets bored with the effort before she gets full). If they don't want to eat, they won't. I wouldn't faff about with the really sloppy purees though. I generally just used to feed her whatever I had planned on her eating herself. I just chopped it smaller and spooned it (she was very clear when she'd had enough so there was never any doubt who was leading).

We reached an uneasy truce in the end although feeding her is still a joyless task be it helping her with her spoon/fork or letting her fend for herself. Luckily she's a 3rd born child so I'm relaxed about it from a "she'll be OK" point of view.

soupdragon said what I meant, but less agressively

Thank you all for your thoughts. I think my wobble last night was mostly down to tiredness with scraping pretty much everything I provide off the floor and still BFing almost as much as when he was tiny.

BUT you've stiffened by resolve to let him wean at his own rate and stop feeling when his spoon-fed friends eat rings round them.

(I don't have an idealogical problem with spoons by the way. The reason I don't want to go down that road is that he enjoys playing and experimenting with the food he doesn't eat and I'd rather he did that and had fun than we had a more efficient but joyless spooning-in - and he still probably wouldn't eat much anyway).

Right, got some porridge to clean off the floor, hands, hair, chair, self...

seriously, if it makes you less tired to do a mix, don't get hung up about doing one thing or another. you'll find a balance that's right for your situation. anyway, have you tried spaghetti bolognese yet? that seems to 'break' even the most milk-loving babies.

We've done a reasonably successful variation - orrechiette with lamb ragu (same idea jsut different pasta and meat). By successful I mean he ate three or four bits. He does have quite adult tastes - he's approved of olives, capers, wild boar ham in the past. Just in tiny quantities before hammering my chest and tugging at the nursing bra.

I am more relaxed again today. I know he's fine on BM and I know that there will come a point where he eats full meals. And, when I think about 2 months ago when he was gagging on pretty much everything, I know we have come a long way. It's just glacially slow. And messy.

Thanks to all for moral support.

We moved on in the last couple of weeks, if there's any consolation. She seems to be eating a reasonable amount at a solely BLW meal. But we do do some mush - mainly because I don't know how else to get her medicine in her. Still feeding at night. I hope you find a compromise that is right and feel less tired - it all feels better then.

And did I mention how much I HATE clearing up after her! We could get to the less messy bit any time she likes...

how do you think BLW caused his eating problems, wulfricsmummy? was he always picky or did he get more so?

god, yes. i think that's what people have been saying on this thread, funnily enough. what a PITA about the non-wet foods. i have a friend who's still like that, funnily enough, at 35. he's not a fussy eater, though, i should stress, just likes things separate. his mum was very glad when he moved out, apparently. but perhaps that's not what you want to hear. he's otherwise a very well-rounded and lovely chap, though. just likes his pasta and sauce served side by side.

lol, good to hear. and very cunning on the dessert front.