1 year old still won't eat solids

[mrsmummy111]

Hi everyone

I'm looking for some advice or words of wisdom (or just a hand hold 😭) from parents who have been through anything similar.

My 1 year old has NEVER been a good eater. He has a lot of allergies which have caused him to be very poorly and even when we started weaning, he never took to it well and refused to eat pretty much from day 1. Eventually after months of doctors visits we have got
His allergies under control and he is on a long term dose of lactulose to deal with constipation which was causing him major discomfort until the age of around 10 months. However, things got slightly better at 10m and he started eating a select few things, however, it's becoming increasingly more difficult and he is getting worse and worse. He won't eat off a spoon - literally just shakes his head when I come near him, with the exception of fruit purée which he will eat all day every day given the chance.

Finger foods - he can do it, very well. Has a good pincer grip etc, but just doesn't want to eat. I have tried EVERYTHING and he either eats a few mouthfuls then gets upset or cross or just starts throwing it over the side of the high chair, or he just looks at it and refuses to pick it up, or he picks it up and tastes it then spits it out.

The ONLY thing that works, is dipping the food on the spoon into fruit or yoghurt first and then he will eat it...he will eat almost anything that way. Bizarrely enough. But that's absolutely ridiculous and absolutely not feasible in the long term. That's what we've been doing up until now but he turns 1 next week and I just can't carry on like that.

Has anyone else been through similar and have any advice on what I can do? He's otherwise very happy and very content but I'm petrified that he's not getting the nutrients he needs. PLEASE HELP!!!!

I'm close to tears every single meal time, I just don't know what to do.

This is similar to my son, although he doesn’t have allergies. He was premature and probably growth restricted. He had zero interest in food and I tried and tried for several months without change. At one he had zero appetite and would only eat yoghurt. He was then found to have anemia and since taking iron is eating and sleeping better (took about a month to get to a normal level). Now he’s OKish but still has a low level of interest in food.
What also really helped was him learning to use a spoon himself. If you can give him some sand and spoons and bowls to play with he might learn it faster. My son learnt to use a spoon 4 months earlier than his sister despite being behind her in everything else and playing with sand is the only difference I can think of between them.

Oh gosh that sounds really hard. I think he might be picking up on your anxiety and worry at meal times and this will make him less likely to eat. How are his teeth? It will be harder to eat if he’s not got many. What we did was let the baby play with the food and enjoy it’s texture. You should play with him and pick up small pieces and let him see you put it in your mouth, show him it on your tongue and show him you’re chewing and swallowing and saying ‘yum’ and ‘mmm’ and facial expression of how you’re having the time of you life eating. And let him mimic you. Keep it relaxed and just keep repeating until he gets how fun and wonderful it is to put food in your mouth and eat it and he’s doing exactly what mum and other members of the family are doing. It will be messy, but he will get there. Banana is a good first food to try. Good luck.

Thank you both for your responses. @GirlCalledJames how old is your son now? Did you ever consider seeing a dietician? I'm not sure if there's even anything a dietician / nutritionist could do, as he can eat (as he eats anything as long as it's covered in fruit!) and he can feed himself, as he feeds himself fruit (banana and apple slices), grated cheese, corn on the cob, toast with almond butter, rice cakes, crisps and snacks, sweet potato, carrot), but genuinely that's probably the limit of it. So it's not that he doesn't know how to do it, he just doesn't like the taste of anything and loses interest very soon after he's started. So he will have a few mouthfuls then he's done.

It's a good idea to encourage him to use a spoon, maybe that way he will just eat what's on the spoon rather than spitting it all out!!

@littlejalapeno he has 6 teeth already but no sign of 7&8 anytime soon. It's hard to know when he's teething as he refuses feed all the time, not just when teething 🤣

Is there anything else that your baby likes to eat as finger food that was like a fail safe for them?

Thanks again for your advice and kind words xx

He’s 18 months now. No, I never considered seeing anyone because I figured they advise you on what to feed them, not how to get them to eat it. Also the iron did seem to solve the problem. And he’ll eat things witha spoon by himself that he won’t accept from me.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that when he has a cough he doesn’t want to eat. Now his nursery’s been closed for four weeks he’s cough free for the first time since September and eating better.
Something that helped me was measuring out how much he’s supposed to eat, the quantities are much smaller than I though.

Are you eating meals together sat at the table? If you can all eat dinner together then it becomes a more social event and less pressure/attention will be put on him to eat. Leave his food as finger food and hold a conversation over dinner. Will he eat when not in the highchair? Maybe offer different snacks in the buggy or just when he's playing. The change in place might decrease the anxiety that has built up around meal times.

Lastly, don't worry as he is only just turning one so he still has a while to pick this up. Try not to force anything or stress over it, easier said than done. His allergies may have made him more wary in the first place.