Overwhelmed by weaning

[GooglingThrough]

Just looking for some reassurance and guidance!

I'm a FTM and my DS has just turned 6mo. I'm feeling really overwhelmed by the whole weaning process and never sure I'm doing enough.

I've read the Weaning Made Easy book and trying to follow it. We've been doing fruit/veg purées so far and porridge, which DS is loving. I BF first and then 30min later or so offer purée.

I also never eat with him (partly because we don't have a dining table, so he's at a high chair and I eat on the sofa/coffee table and partly because I've just been warming up purées I've pre-made).

I want to start doing finger foods too, but am not sure or confident on how to start? Talking to NCT friends and they're feeding their LOs all kinds of foods and I feel like I'm doing this all wrong...

don't stress yourself. Remember the saying "food before one, is just for fun"

try and eat with your baby if you can :)

@00100001 Is it though? In the book, she (Dr Rana Conway) says that's a lot of babies end up with iron deficiency because they aren't getting enough through their food. Apparently particularly with BLW

I think the fun before one is a now-refutes myth.

Just give baby little bits of what you're having, obviously avoiding things like whole grapes or meals with lots of salt in.

If you have toast for breakfast, give them a finger to gnaw on. If you have porridge, load up a spoon and see what they do with it. Mashed sweet potato or things like that mean they can shove a fist in and out some in their mouth.

You don't need to give purées at six months.

I just gave DD a bit of what I was having - either puréed (I had a little baby food whizzer which made it easier) or finger food. I tried to do at least one of both at each meal. It's a lot easier if they've having what you're having as you don't need to prepare anything separately.

It's also easier to sit with them and eat - can you pull a chair up alongside? They then have something to copy. I used to spoon some into DD, then have some of my own whilst she ate the finger food.

I had the Annabel Karmel book 'quick and easy weaning' which had nice recipes in which were very easy and which we ate too.

*Food before one is just for fun.
*
This is 100% right.

Just remember baby is still getting all nutrients from milk. I remember stressing myself silly with weaning before realising this. It's all about letting them explore with the taste and texture of food.

You're BFing, baby will be getting all the nutrients they need.
Don't panic :)

As others have said, give baby what you are eating. Don't expect them to actually eat that much

TequilaMockingbird0

"I think the fun before one is a now-refutes myth"

Perhaps, perhaps not. But it a good thing to remember. As parents get so anxious about their babies eating. When at 6 months most calories and nutrients should be coming from their milk.

So it sometimes helps to be reassured :)

Thanks all, some helpful suggestions.

Can I ask how you all logistically eat with them?

I guess I can see how I could for breakfast and lunch. But I don't really want to eat dinner at 5:30 (and would like to be able to eat dinner with DH when he's home from work).

Just make yourself a meal and give him the same or a modified version of it. There is no need to complicate things.

Food before one is for fun is not always the case so don't take it too.seriously

I would leave a little more time between BF and solids
Eating together doesn't have to be at a table but it should be sociable
Like others have said just give what you're having
Don't overthink it

Finger foods are great - bits of fruit or veg, toast fingers, bread sticks, Ella's kitchen snacks! It's great practice for eating

Re eating together: we have breakfast and lunch together and then my DS eats dinner by himself while I potter in the kitchen and chat to him.

You don't have to have fill blown dinner with him.

But if he's having some fingers of toast, you could share the slice of bread for example. I'm sure you could munch on half a slice of toast at 5:30.

Or if he's having strawberries, you can have a couple with him.

Just adjust the mealtimes to suit your family. I did 5.30 initially but it was too early so we now all eat together at 6. If your DH gets in a lot later then just cook once and plate some up for later or cook in the evening and save some for next day for baby.

Doesn't sound like that book made it easy at all!

Honestly at 6 months just pass them something off your own plate whenever is convenient.

Sandwich for lunch? Cut a bit off and let them mush it around their face or whatever.

Egg for breakfast? Cool one and cut it up for baby to throw on the floor.

Got a random carrot in the fridge? Cook it till its a bit soft and then give it to baby to keep them quiet while you sort out some laundry mid afternoon.

Top tip: the more fruit you give them, the better the poo smells.

Also: do give them sweetcorn, you can see the outsides clearly in the poo and it illustrates how much is in fact going in when you feel like you're wiping at least 110 % of it up off the floor every time.

I think the "food is fun before 1" is good if it helps parents to relax if their baby takes a while to get the hang of food. The problem comes when it's interpreted as meaning it doesn't matter what you offer them.

With the eating together, don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good! If the evening meal timings don't work for your family, that's OK; if you can try to eat breakfast and lunch with him, that's still a lot more than you're currently doing and well worth it.

Initially I felt like this OP and I was obsessed that my daughter was getting enough nutrition from it all. I would be disheartened if she refused my homemade meals and would really fret about it.

All I can say is it’s a process and they get better each day. My daughter eats 3 good meals a day with gusto. I started with purées and finger foods and we have now progressed to 75% non purée.

For me the key was to plan. Instagram has some great resources too which I used. And apparently the mantra that food before 1 is just for fun is just a myth and many nutritionalists actually advise to give baby both purées and finger foods.

I don’t eat with my daughter per se but I might cut up some fruit so that she sees me eating and I do the whole over exaggerated chewing to give her some inspiration.

Breakfast times are a good way of getting some goodness in. Porridge can be loaded with peanut butter and chia seeds and some grated carrot/apple.

Just to say "thanks" for the helpful replies!

I tried to embrace it all today...
I sat on the edge of the sofa and ate, next to DS in his high chair, for breakfast and lunch. We spoon fed porridge and played with strawberries for breakfast. And he had a little turkey chilli and sucked on broccoli for lunch. Feeling a bit better about it all

We've been doing fruit/veg purées so far and porridge, which DS is loving. I BF first and then 30min later or so offer purée.
Sounds absolutely fine to me! I don't think you have anything to worry about. As for finger food--anything which contains no/very little salt and choking hazards is OK. I do the "tongue squish" test: if you can squish it against the roof of your mouth with your tongue, they will be able to chew it on their gums. You can puree up any foods which are too tricky for them to manage this way, like leafy vegetables or meat.

I also never eat with him (partly because we don't have a dining table, so he's at a high chair and I eat on the sofa/coffee table and partly because I've just been warming up purées I've pre-made).
I don't think this is a problem right now. But you have to think about this from a long-term point of view. Your baby is going to grow up into a toddler and then a school-aged child. Sooner or later you will have to bite the bullet and start eating meals together, and you will also need some dining furniture. You need a table to sit around so that you can eat meals with your child, otherwise you will all end up perching on the sofa and it is going to be difficult to teach them proper table manners and have a normal family eating time where children can be exposed to adult conversation without distractions and screens--also, what are you going to do when your child starts bringing homework and schoolwork to do, and you need to spread stuff out on a table and help them? I strongly suggest that you start looking into a table and chairs pronto. If your living space is very small, you may have to do some clever juggling to get things to work. We live in a small apartment, but a dining table is something I would never ever compromise on.

Re eating together: once your baby is on three meals, you can have breakfast and lunch together, presumably. I think it is up to you whether you want to eat evening meals with your kid, but my own hunch is that the widespread practice of a separate "kids' tea" in the UK (I live outside the UK, by the way) is part of the reason why British children so often seem to eat such terrible food. It becomes too tempting to just bung nuggets in front of them, whereas if you are eating with them, it creates some positive pressure to ensure that they are served the same food as an adult would eat. I eat with my kids and then I have dessert and wine with my husband when he eats his share after he gets home. But this is a personal decision, and if you are at least eating breakfast and lunch together then that at least means your child is eating most of their meals with an adult.

Thanks @Kokeshi123
We're planning on moving in the next year, so longer term is not a concern. It's just tight for space now.