Weaning stress- refusing all spoon feeds

[Alicia870]

Baby is 8.5 months and we've always had a tricky weaning journey so far. I've tried so hard to introduce lots of variety and textures and both spoon feeds and finger foods.

She is now at a stage where she point blank refuses to eat anything from a spoon. Even if it's something she will love like yogurt, she won't even try t off the spoon- just turns her head when it come near her mouth and won't even attempt it.
I think I just need some other mums advice or experiences of this as I'm a first time mum and just feel like I'm doing it all wrong.
In morning, I always offer ready brek with banana but she won't even take a spoonful of it. I usually then just give toast and peanut butter or piece of fruit which she will eat as a finger food.
Lunch for example today we had toast and I offered her mash potato with cauliflower cheese but again completely refuses to try. So she ate a tiny amount of broccoli and strip of chicken from her tray.
For dinner I just don't even know where to go anymore.
I follow a weaning account on Instagram and always feel so disheartened as my baby is just eating hardly anything (weight is fine) despite all my attempts to give her so much variety.
Anything I can do to help her take mashed food? I've tried giving her a spoon in her hand but she just keeps it in her mouth and won't let me put any food in!

It sounds like your little girl is just acting her age. It is quite common and could be due to a few reasons. First, she is starting to become independent and wants to try to do things for herself. You could try giving her a spoon of her own while you continue feeding her solid baby food. She may not be able to do much more than wave it around at first, but it may keep her content and busy enough to enable you to dish up some food into her mouth. Plus, it's good practice for the future (the distant future, that is — expect most food to be delivered by fingers for a long time to come).
Secondly, she may be trying to let you know she's ready to move on to new textures of solid baby food ("I'm done with mush, Mum"). You could try more meals made up of foods that she is able to feed herself. Don’t worry too much about the amount she eats. Offering a variety of foods during the day will ensure that she’s getting all the nourishment she need. Remember, breast milk and/or formula remain important sources of nutrition until they are 12 months.
Thirdly, she may have developed a negative association with being fed with a spoon. For example, if the spoon has been loaded up with too much food or put too far into her mouth. And if you like to scrape the food that ends up around her mouth at meal times she will quickly learn to dislike the spoon and refuse it. Use a soft-tipped shallow spoon. Sit directly opposite your dd, not overloading the spoon with food, presenting the spoon to just in front of their lips giving her the opportunity to lean forward slightly, open her mouth and accept the food from the spoon. Avoid distractions and bribes, instead use praise.Let her enjoy touching the food in her bowl as you spoon-feed her. Oh, and let her make a mess!
Another factor that might be contributing to your daughter's refusal to eat is a new disdain for high-chair captivity. As she becomes more active (or has new mobility skills), mealtime is no longer the highlight of the day.
Don’t make too many changes at once, be consistent with any changes you do make and try to be relaxed

I’d just ditch the spoons and go totally for letting her feed herself- so basically BLW, though I know technically it’s not BLW because you have used spoons. DS was the same, and switching the way we approached things was the best thing we’ve ever done.

Will she eat mashed food if you just put it on her high chair? My DD got like that with spoon feeding so we just put literally everything on her high chair tray to eat, it was messy (especially rice) but she was happy and ate as much as she wanted. I know people who even did that with yoghurt although I wasn’t quite brave enough

The me for your ideas!
She's never been great at the spoon to be honest, but definitely getting worse.
She will definitely eat the same type of thing more readily if it's put on her tray rather than off the spoon even if it's the same thing.
Eg yesterday we had spaghetti and meatballs and I tried to spoon it to her but ended up just ripping it onto the higher chair and letting her make a mess and at least some went in.
I honestly can't get a spoon into her mouth at all. So stuff like porridge, cereals, soups, stew, rice etc is just a no go at the minute but it's so frustrating!

Sorry for all the typos in that last post 🙈

Don't spoon-feed her then? There's no need. Normal for them to want to DIY. Put it on the tray and let her use hands or put loaded spoons down and let her pick them up.

She can have rice, porridge, yoghurt, stew, cereal. It'll be messy, but fun. I make porridge very thick so baby can pick it up in handfuls. Babies of this age will start to use pincer grip to pick up grains of rice, pieces of cereal etc.

I could have written this post when DS was the same age. I got really stressed about it until a friend said 'food is for fun until he's one' and told me to stop making it a battle and make it fun instead.
I ditched spoon feeding altogether and just gave him a bowl of whatever we were eating and he ate it all with his fingers - rice, curry, chilli, bolognese, noodles, everything! Yes it made a horrendous mess but he loved it and still has a great appetite now he's 3yo.
Googling the division of responsibility with weaning might help too.

This is normal don't worry!

Honestly with a spoon refuser I'd just give them stuff they can eat off their tray. It is a pain in the arse when you think how much food we eat that's not especially finger food friendly, but it's not the end of the world.

So even if you find things like thick stew type textures don't work, she can have strips of any fruit and veg that's suitable raw or steamed, which is most of them. She can have omelettes cut into slices, bread, bits of meat. If she likes picking a meatball up with her hands that gives you loads of options for ball type food. Like sweet veggie balls in breadcrumbs and baked, that type of thing.