10 and a half month old

[MeadowHay]

Some questions about weaning as DD has been quite slow with it all really.

1. If I offer something, should I offer lots of different things at once, or one thing, and if she doesn't eat it, am I meant offer different things or not? For example this morning I had toast with peanut butter on so I made the same for her, she messed about with it for a bit but only ate about 1/4 of a piece of toast and then got bored and started whinging. I didn't know whether to end the meal there or see if she'd eat something else, so I offered her some baby fruit yoghurt thing out of a jar (not looking for comments about baby jars lol) and she ate about 75g of that maybe before she then got fed up of that too. Am I meant to do that or just end the meal once she got fed up of the toast?

1. She still has 4 bottles of formula a day but she doesn't drain them all and I think the second one is a big part of the reason why she hardly eats any lunch most days, so I'm thinking about trying to drop a bottle and moving to 3 bottles, but not sure what times would be best, any suggestions? Atm she has one upon waking - this is around 7.30am Monday-Thurs, and Saturdays, but Fridays and Sundays can be anywhere from 8am til 9.15am - then one sometime between 12 and 1pm, then one around 4pm and final one before bed which is somewhere between 6.45pm and 7.30pm.

The older she gets the more stressed about it I'm getting. She has a terrible sweet tooth and is already very aware of what she likes and doesn't like, but even the things she likes she only generally eats very small quanitites of. She is interested in food but usually only for about 5 minutes before she gets bored and whingey and won't eat it anymore unless you keep offering a different food to extend her interest. I don't know many parents of young children irl but the ones I do, their kids are or were eating much better than DD so none of them have any advice for me!

When my LO was on 3 bottles we did:
6.30ish cereal
8.30/9am bottle
11am snack
12.30/1pm Lunch
3pm bottle
5pm dinner
7.30 bottle and bed

I personally offer something different if my LO doesn't want something but only 1 other option then I leave it after that but she wasn't/isn't particularly fussy, less milk should help her interest in food

If she has a sweet tooth don’t offer sweet stuff. Honestly it’s easier to do when they can still have milk for their nutrients rather than trying to get a toddler to eat.

When dd was that age she would usually have a day like:
6am breastfeed
7am breakfast (toast&nut butter/Greek yogurt/omelette/bagel/porridge etc)
10am breastfeed
11:30am lunch (soup & toast/lentil dahl/hummus&veggies/steamed fish/noodles etc)
12:30pm breastfeed
3pm breastfeed
5pm dinner (small version of what I was having)
6:30pm breastfeed and bed.

She never had anything sweet really unless she was at my parents who weren’t as strict as I was! She does now, but she’s 2.5 and eats a reasonably varied diet for a stubborn toddler.

I went down to 3 bottles a day around that time with DS. We did

7am bottle
8am breakfast
11.30 lunch
1pm bottle
4.30pm dinner
6.30pm bottle and bed

I always offered something else if I was trying something new and worries he didn't eat it because he didn't like it. Then I would give something I knew he liked.

Thing is it's not even just about stuff she categorically doesn't like, there's a lot of stuff she will eat some of if she's in a decent enough mood but tends to only try and eat it for a few mins then gets bored. There's only a few things that she will eat a decent portion of and they're all sweet things! Occasionally she will have a decent portion of toast with something or a decent portion of soup but only sometimes. I'm also worried if I don't make sure she's eating and also cut out a bottle I don't want her to be hungry. I know I should try not to stress about quantity etc because she's just generally slow to weaning but I don't want her to be hungry, but I also don't want to be reinforcing bad habits of just eating sweet stuff all the time. And also want her to be less reliant on formula now she's getting bigger. Should I ask nursery what to do? She started there 6 weeks ago and ate really well there to start with which we were shocked about but the last fortnight or so I guess with familiarity now she's started being similarly fussy with them too! The HV is coming for her development review next week so I could speak to her about it too? Just so hard to know what to do for the best especially as she can't even tell me if she's hungry or not really.

I think if you dropped a milk and her food intake didn't increase then I would be concerned. You could try it and always go back if you're worried about her getting enough. And then talk to your HV.

Gaaaaah I am getting so stressed about this.

90% of meals end in tears.

Dinner last night I gave her what we were having - vegetarian 'shawarma' , pitta bread, salad, and a bit of low salt/sugar ketchup, with cocous. She had a quick suck on everything (although ignored most of the salad completely) for about 5 minutes then started whinging and crying. Then I offered her baby rice which she ate about 5 baby spoons of and then went back to whinging and crying.

Lunch so far again gave her what we are having, three cheese and onion spread sandwhiches. She literally looked at the sandwich and then started whinging and crying, touched it and then cried more, wouldn't even pick it up - a few months ago she loved this spread and would spend ages sucking on it even though she hadn't figured out chewing and stuff then. Eventually after hysterics gave her a blueberry baby rice cake which she sucked on for about 3 minutes then started crying again. Then gave her a veggie cocktail sausage which is now sort of eating for the last 5 minutes but with intermittent whinging and like she's hardly eaten more than a few tiny crumbs, she's mostly just sucking on it.

Following with interest and I'm sorry you're getting so stressed MeadowHay. My daughter is 10.5 months. I started by thinking it was good to explore food, and just offer different food if she refused and then it got to the stage where she's have around four or five different courses all of which she'd bang on the highchair tray and then throw on the floor, and only deign to eat some banana or pear or one of the baby snacks. So she basically eats nothing which is fine as a one off but not everyday! I'm taking her to be weighed tomorrow so will report if they have useful advice.

My DS it 6.5 months, we have already cut feeds back to 3-4 a day. I am bf so don't always know how much he's having, however we did a day of expressed milk feeds and he had 875ml over the day + 3 meals so I was happy with that. At 10 months I think they only need around 600ml a day. So you could probably cut milk back.

It's a far cry from a month ago when DS was still feeding every 20-40 minutes!

I think you need to relax a bit. Don't focus on what she is having at individual meals, maybe look at what she is taking in over a week. It's natural that some days her appetite might be smaller than others.

Do you offer solids before milk usually?

They all go through phases - we've had hysterics every evening this week! I'd say drop to 3 bottles if she's not finishing them all and if you do milk first maybe it's time to switch it round to food first.

I found my boy likes to have a selection of things to pick from which I put out in different bowls for him - so for lunch today he had savoury muffin, cherry toms, fruit and some baby crisps and he can just pick what he wants to eat and in what order. I try to always include something he likes in his dinner (so carrots at the moment) even if it's a new dish for him. Does she feed herself or do you spoon feed her? Your dinner sounds delicious but if she's trying to feed herself she might fine it a bit frustrating and that's why she's giving up.

Is she teething OP? Mine was like this when teething, quick munch on something then refusing.

Also to add it was about 10 months before he really got going with eating, and that was frequently interrupted by teething! Now (he's 3 but this has been true for ages) he's a great eater and better than most of his little friends who took to weaning more quickly, so it doesn't necessarily mean she won't be a good eater long term. At 10 months, mine dropped to 2 bottles a day from 4. We had to actively replace the mid morning and mid afternoon ones with a snack (maybe snack and milk to start with?).

Thanks everyone. Im not too bothered about the situation for now but terrified it will mean she is a horrendous fussy eater for ever when she's bigger iyswim! I don't think there is any good research about this kind of thing is there?

The HV did her development review last week and said she was on track with her milestones apart from a bit behind with her communication. Her weaning advice was to drop the 4pm bottle and give water so she's hungry for her dinner and told me not to give her any sweet food at all anymore. We dutifully cut out the 4pm bottle and replaced it with a snack and water, and we've moved the 12pm before-lunch bottle back to 1.30pm so it's after lunch. But tbh I don't think it's making much difference and I'm now possibly even more worried about how little nutrition she's getting and how little fluid as well! She may be teething the top ones but not sure, can't get a good luck. She also seems to have yet another virus, dead snotty and the cough that she's had for 6 weeks has got worse again over the last few days.

Today so far:
8am offered 7oz formula and she drank 4oz ish.
Breakfast 8.45am offered Ella baby mueseli for the first time made up with cows milk which she tried a tiny bit off the end of a spoon and decided she didn't like so refused completely. Ate 1 Kingsmill maple syrup pancake with marge on. And about 2 sips of water from an open cup.
10am DM had her and she was whingy so she offered her a Petit Filous yoghurt (the bigger 80g pots) and she had about a third of it.
12.30pm lunch, she ate 1/4 of a piece of toast with marge, two baby spoons of baby cheesy pasta puree, 6 small chunks of mango. She tried cucumber and fried aubergine for a bit but couldn't figure out how to swallow either. Refused water and refused Ella's tomato and leek baby crisps that she usually (/used to?) like.
1.30pm offered 7oz formula and she drank 5oz.
4pm ate 1 Kiddylicious blackcurrent wafer.

Is that enough? Even things like toast she likes but she only eats a tiny bit and then gets bored of it and throws it on the floor repeatedly. I really don't think I can cut out all sweet stuff as otherwise she'd be eating virtually nothing!

Also is it normal that though she shows interest in the following foods, she cannot chew and swallow them:
Pear rings/chunks
Circles of fried aubergine
Peas
Cucumber circles/batons
Etc the little chunks all just come out of her mouth and she keeps putting them back in as she clearly likes them but then they just come back out again!

Going through similar with my 10 month old. I made a batch of courgette and bell pepper muffins for his lunch. He gobbled it up so I gave him another one a few days later and he had one bite and threw it on the floor. Things he seems to like one day, he can’t stand the next. It’s frustrating (watching 40 mins work sail towards the floor and get hoovered by the dog) and worrying (are they eating enough?!) in equal measure.

I had a similar conversation with the HV today. She advised cutting down on the milk I offer him in the day and offering dessert with lunch and dinner. Not too sure about the dessert as he has a sweet tooth so I’ve been looking for healthy recipes all day.

I read somewhere that “food before 1 is just for fun” and I’m thinking that’s a pretty good mantra. I’m going to try to give him a range of foods, tastes and textures but he’ll eat what he wants and no more.
I will say, he eats much better if he can see that we have the same as him. Spag Bol went down well this evening as we were all eating it with him.

Like your DD he squirms and grizzles if he feels he’s been in his high chair too long. I’m putting this down to the fact he’s much more mobile and wants to be trying to stand up.

I think the chewing thing with the little chunks popping out of their mouth is normal too. I read that they use their tongue to squish food on the roof of their mouths which pushes it forward. DS does one over exaggerated bite when food goes in, then there is a lot of mushing rather than chewing.

If it helps this is what DS had today:
6am bottle 6.5oz
8am banana on toast with a few banana chunks. Threw the toast, ate the chunks.
8.45am bottle 5.5oz
12 lunch small one egg omelette with grated carrot, courgette, cheese and bell pepper. Ate about 1/2 of it. Ate a little yoghurt pot and 5 blueberries and one raspberry.
1.30pm bottle 5.5oz
4.25pm bottle 2.5 oz
5.30pm dinner spag bol, gave him a heaped tablespoon of meat sauce and a few pieces of spaghetti, he ate it all. 2 spoons of mixed fruit from a pouch and he ate most of it.

This was a really good day for solids, normally it’s less than that. I had days where I threw a handful of Heinz baby veg puffs on his tray and called it lunch!

If your DD is teething/feeling poorly it’ll really throw her off the solids so I think we just have to roll with it and remember, no kids in high school turned up with bottles of milk so we should be ok!

So DD just turned 1. She is def not where I wish she was with food, but she now only has 2 5oz bottles of milk a day and as time goes on she is gradually eating a bit better. Still concerned about her sweet tooth and the fact that she won't countenance trying any vegetables at all except for cucumber and sweet potatoes. :S

Oh and carrot and peas actually. But nowt else.

Meadowhay we are in a similar place, she's recently turned one, she eats rice and a couple of Ella's kitchen things, boiled egg whites but not yolk, but otherwise just fruit. She's just not very good at eating! I just hope some sort of survival instinct kicks in some time!