Baby led weaning - how important is it?

[TheLovleyChebbyMcGee]

I know the advantages, but we're really struggling with it and 7 month old DS. We started at 5 months as he was showing all the signs.

We started on purees, and he's getting on great, eats plenty and accepts new things well. But I keep hearing about how BLW is the better path.

We make all food ourselves from scratch, and blend a bit or mash. He eats a wide range of fruits and veg, have just introduced chicken, fish, beef and lentils (not all at the same time!) And he'll accept lumps now too.

He isnt a great sleeper, but we found great improvement with wheatabix or porridge with a little bit of fruit puree an hour before bed. So I'd be loath to drop the spoon feeding of this.

I didn't think I was a super tidy person, But my god, the utter mess of BLW makes me shudder. He literally just chucks it all on the floor straight away! If you hand feed him he'll chew small chunks of stuff, but wont hold a stick of something.

So my questions are:

Is this just a phrase and he'll start feeding himself better soon?

Can you do BLW for 1 meal a day but spoon fed the rest?

Or just carry on with chunky purees and sack the BLW??

Thank you for reading my essay, I am rather over analysing all this weaning stuff, both my DH and I are overweight despite knowing alot about nutrition, so I'm consious about passing that on to DS!

It sounds as if you are over complicating things. It also sounds as if your baby is doing well.i don't think you can really associate eating and sleeping that easily. It is much easier imo to give the baby the same as everyone else and let them get on with it but I wouldn't be rigid and if DC wants yoghourt for example i would pop a spoonful in their mouth.i haven't got the self discipline for all the rules though.
Do what feels right for you.. it will work out.

Give finger foods alongside the mash/ puree. That's traditional weaning anyway

BLW is not better, it is just one option. Keep going as you are with a mix of purée/lumpy food and some finger food if it is working for your baby.

I.e. it doesn't need to be one or the other. Do whatever suits. They need finger foods at some stage anyway but doesn't mean you suddenly have to drop spoon feeding too

I would just carry on as you are and give home some finger food once a day. Pick something easy and not too messy! My DD liked sticks of cucumber and I just gave them back to her when she chucked them

As a pp said blw is just an option. It is important to make sure he gets some finger food every day though to develop muscles needed for speech. But that finger food can be given along side purée or for just one meal a day and is normally called ‘traditional weaning’.

He sounds fine. He doesn't sound like he has gagging problems or dexterity problems which are two of the main things it's meant to help. So as long as you're not coaxing him to eat when he's had enough (which could lead to over feeding when older) then spoon feeding is fine.

In terms of mess, try giving him only one thing at a time, he can have more whether he chucks it out eats it, but it looks less like lots of fun things to throw. Or put a large old (clean) sheet on the floor so he can chuck food and pick it back up again.

Porridge before bed has been brilliant for us too, so I'd keep that personally. There's nothing wrong with only one blw meal a day, or with giving finger food as you prepare the meal for example. Mine will eat some foods only off a spoon, and some foods only with fingers, and sometimes it depends on her mood.

Fantastic, thank you so much for all your replies!

We do intend to try and get him on whatever were having soon just for ease, but I'll stick with what we're doing, which is the traditional weaning a lot of you have mentioned, and not get so stressed about it!!

I had joined a BLW facebook group that seemed mostly north american based and it was super strict regarding puree questions and anything to do with spoons, I have now left as it just over complicated things!

BLW doesn't have to be the cultlike process you see online with all meals being BLW-only. You can wean the same way millions of people weaned before. We are all not usually eating only purees for lunch and dinner as fully-grown adults based on how we were weaned.
We do porridge (spoonfed) for breakfast most days. If I have time to make drop scones or welshcakes or oat pancakes then she eats those by hand. Similarly lunch and dinner is a mix of things she can pick up and eat (like some corn kernels, peas, cut up grapes, bits of fish and chicken etc) and some things that are spoonfed like soup, curry with rice etc. And a big bowl of oat porridge before bed with a banana mashed into it helps her sleep. My DD is 16 months old and happily chews into a chicken drumstick, but I can also feed her in a restaurant or on a plane without making a complete spectacle of performance parenting. Hardcore BLW-ers don't seem to be able to manage that and I personally think it's a bit weird to expect a child to ONLY eat what they can manage to spoon into their mouths. Even animals pre-masticate food sometimes to feed young ones.
One aspect of BLW that I did find genuinely useful is to just give the baby whatever you are eating (while watching the salt content / adding salt to adult portions alone / just eating less salt as adults too). It does make life so much easier than cooking a separate meal that is often chucked on the floor by the tiny person anyway.

BLW isn't 'better' I just found it so much easier, I didn't puree a single thing for either of my two kids, I just gave them whatever we were having. It was also the reason I learnt to cook properly as well because I couldn't give them the ready meals and processed crap we had been eating up until then! I did give them a couple of Ella's kitchen pouches when we were on a long journey once though as the mess wouldnt have worked.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing, it really is whatever is easier for you.

The only thing I would say is don't just puree stuff because you are worried about choking. They have the learn sometime and actually the time when they can first sit upright properly is the best time because their gag reflex is further forward so the risk of choking is lower apparently. I know someone who was still spoonfeeding her two year old purees because she was so worried about choking.

Before BLW was 'a thing', I weaned my two DCs with purees to start with at 4 months (as was advised at the time) and as they became more confident started giving them pieces of cooked pasta, par-boiled veggies, toast, bits of chopped up fruit etc alongside their mushed meals. No they didn't eat much to start with, and I put the high chair on a plastic sheet
Mix and match and give them whatever they seem interested in (because your dinner is always better than theirs, even when it's exactly the same!)

I had joined a BLW facebook group that seemed mostly north american based

I think the BLW "thing" has only just taken off in the US, and so you have these people turning finger foods into a sort of weird cult.

We had all this in the UK about 10-12 years ago. Since then, we have all seen our kids grow up and observed that the ones who got finger foods only are no less fussy/obese/allergic than whose who got a mixture of finger foods and spoonfeeding, which frankly is a lot more convenient. And most of the sensible elements of BLW like giving more table foods from early on and not being obsessed with "stages," have now just become the new norm.

Give your baby a mixture of things in a variety of ways. It's easiest, it ensure they learn how to eat table food, and it means that they actually get enough food inside them.

Yes to so much of what has been said! I'd be so worried about making a mess in a restaurant, I've worked in several over the years and dreaded families coming in!

We cook generally healthy food when we try, maybe cooking for 3 will force us to to do it more often. And yes, the group I was in was like a cult!!

It's not important at all. Just keep going as you are, it sounds like your baby is doing well.

You should read Prof Amy Browns book, why solids matter. Basically there is no research saying blw or puree is better. Just use your common sense really and allow some play with food.

We cook generally healthy food when we try, maybe cooking for 3 will force us to to do it more often.

I think this is a good idea, and I think that a really sensible aspect of the BLW thing is the whole idea of, "use weaning as an opportunity to rethink the food that the family as a whole eats and start eating better."

For many meals, you can just tweak the cooking process so that anything salty like stock cubes or soy sauce are added at the end, and remove a portion for baby BEFORE that.

If you are eating a meal which cannot be tweaked or adapted easily, you can just crack out a jar and easy finger foods for baby like banana pieces, or get a puree cube out of the freezer if you enjoy making baby foods. Contrary to what some people online seem to think, some meals cannot realistically and safely be shared with babies. There is a north American group which is full of people posting pictures of babies eating potato chips, bacon sandwiches, Chick-a-fil and so on. I think some of these people are in serious denial about how much sodium their babies are getting, quite honestly.

If I had insisted on doing BLW with my DS at 6mo he would have been eating precisely nothing. Anything other than smooth purée would make him vomit. He didn’t tolerate lumps until about 8mo and he was about 13mo before he was able to reliably feed himself. At that point he refused the spoon and wouldn’t eat anything unless he could eat it by himself. Feed your baby whatever they are able to eat and don’t feel guilty about it.

Did both, just fave little bits of food to hold and gum while also feeding bit of our meals - didn't blend though.

I tried BLW for a week but have switched to traditional weaning with finger food now. The mantra "food before 1 is for fun" just didn't sit right with me when I was making/preparing food and he was chucking it on the floor or not eating it. All the FB pages were full.of mums with the same problem and advice was just keep going, it's just funN don't worry if they're not eating it. It's a real privileged position to be able to waste food and consider it "just for fun" especially in a country where food bank usage is increasing.

Also, I think theres too many stages in one go (picking up, biting, chewing, swallowing) and he seems to be doing better with actually getting stuff into his belly with puree.

Echoing what others have said - it's really not important at all. Spoonfeeding the baby sometimes really doesn't do them any harm (also it's what they tend to do at nurseries before the baby can use a spoon themselves, so having a total spoon-refuser might be a bit unhelpful if your son will be going to nursery at around 1). Ultimately what matters is that your son gets the hang of eating nutritious food, with a range of tastes and textures.

I think it's important to remember that a couple of generations ago blw wasn't 'a thing' and no harm was caused!

Just do what works for you and your family. My ds started on purées and now at 9 months has mainly mashes and finger food with the odd purée thrown into the mix. Every baby and family is different. There is no right or wrong (within reason)

Do what er works for you! All that matters is baby eating a variety of foods!

I found myself getting a bit stressed out with weaning. I read a really good book, why starting solids matter. V. Interesting!