19 month old very limited diet

[soontobefour4]

I started wearing DS about 12 months ago. Usual stuff - porridge, toast, purées etc, mixture of blw and spoon feeding. He has always been a reluctant eater despite being 98th centile from birth. I've just been patient, kept offering him all sorts but not getting too worked up over it because I figured it would fall into place eventually.

At the beginning of this year he started eating everything I offered him pretty much. He was eating the same as us, just mashed up a bit and you could tell he was really enjoying his food. We had about 6 weeks of this bliss where he was eating fish pie, cottage pie, casseroles, curries etc. Now it's even worse than before, all I can get him to eat is toast, wheetabix, porridge, yogurts, one or two of the Ella's Kitchen meals and the occasional piece of fruit. Of course he'll also eat biscuits, chocolate buttons, crisps etc but obviously these are avoided.

I just don't know what else to try. I try to make mealtimes fun but it just always ends in screaming, tears and the food on the floor. I'm 38 weeks pregnant with number 2 and feeling like a really terrible mum for trying to get him to eat well and causing him stress when he's about to have such a big change in his life. Should I just buy shares in Ella's Kitchen and accept for now that maybe he easy option is better for both of us at the moment?

Any tips really gratefully received by a hormonal pregnant woman feeling like the worst mum in the world 😞

Can I ask how much milk he's having OP?

Just one 8oz bottle of cows milk before bed.

Ds is going through the same thing 😩
He’s a month older but for the past week has refused everything except pasta, breaded chicken breast and a few other bits but with no consistency. He won’t eat fruit unless it’s a pot mixed with Greek yoghurt, and hasn’t had a vegetable for weeks (unless blended into sauce)
No advice other than to keep offering the food but with no expectations (I’ve been eating his leftovers 😆), and some solidarity from me (also heavily pregnant)

How is his sleeping? Ds’s has gone up the wall too to hoping it’s a developmental phase

Ok, so if that's all the milk he's having in a day, he's not filling up on that instead of solids which is the usual cause.

Do you give him a multivitamin each day? If not I'd start. Vitamin supplements are recommended for all under-5s in the UK and if you give him one, you can relax a little more about his food intake.

We had a fussy eater too so you have my total sympathy.

Can I ask though why you are trying to make mealtimes fun? Is this something you plan on and can continue for many years? It might be better just to serve his food and just eat yours. I've always met complaints and food refusal with a bit of benign ignoring

Some things that really helped us were:

Only serve really small portions, think the size of his palm. He can always ask for more.

Limit snacks. Really limit snacks.

Letting them know that they don't have to eat. It's your job to offer food. It's entirely up to them whether they eat it or not. Some Children around this age especially will appear to live on fresh air or several days.

Make lunch the main meal. He's getting a bottle of milk after tea so he knows he doesn't have to eat a lot to feel full.

Never, ever, ever offer an alternative. It's the way to misery for years. I have a DF who cooks up to 7 different meals for her DD for every meal, only to have each one refused.

Serve a meal you know they will definitely eat at least once a week.

If you are giving them something new, put something they like with it. So if he's never had cheese on toast before but loves quartered cherry tomatoes, put them together.

This guide from the Caroline Walker Trust should help too

It doesn't help much but my 18 m/o is in a similar place - we had a few months of her eating everything, in large volumes, but lately she's scaled back a LOT in the variety - she'd be happy with pasta, bananas and yogurt for every meal. She's much worse when she's teething, understandably. I think it's just a normal phase they go through around this age when they realise they can say no and get a reaction, or might just not be in the mood, whatever.