Fussy toddler, only wants snacks/puddings

[AlaskanSnow]

DS has always been a small eater. As a baby he would only ever had 5oz max of milk. This was due to undiagnosed milk allergy causing tummy pain.

We started weaning at 6 months, and he was happy with both spooned purees and finger foods to explore. He ate pretty much everything.

At 12 months, he had a mammoth teething bout, and during this time he only wanted soft foods, and very small aounts at that.
I did get very upset about feeding, but I was recommeded the book "my child wont eat" which changed my mindset.
I do now understand that all I have to do is provide the food and he will eat if he wants.

Now at 15 months, all he will eat is very small amounts of jar/tray meals ( say 1/3rd to half of the 12months ones). And snacks. The kiddilicous puffs/wafers/flapjacks are like life to him.
He will no longer pick up veg and eat it. He only eats bananas and watermelon, whereas before all fruit was loved.

Coupled with him learning words, he is very clever at telling me he doesn't want to eat what I have provided as a main course. I offer yoghurt for dessert which is always eaten and then he asks for more.
If I give the main back it is thrown, so then he ends up eating endless amounts of dessert.

I want to break this cycle. Any ideas how? I'm still so worried about leaving him hungry as he is v small for his age.

Just stop giving him yogurt or dessert. A toddler doesn’t dictate what he eats.

I would offer whatever main, if he refuses, take it away then offer it again a short time later- 20 minutes or whatever feels right. Don't let your upset show, no matter how frustrating it is.
Offer small amounts of main- crackers, cheese, fruit for example, so he has plenty of bits to pick and choose between.
I would say stop giving yoghurts straight away, I know it feels like he's starving but they would eat whatever you put in front of them if he was that hungry!
It can't be very hard but try take away emotions from the dinner table- even positive ones!

You've had some great advise on here already OP. Can I just ask how much milk he has in a day?

Sorry, my phone locked me out!

He has prescription formula, one 5oz bottle on waking, will have between 3.5 and 4oz. One 5oz bottle before bed, again 3.5-4oz drunk and if he wakes in the night (rare unless teething/cold) then same again.

I don't think he is filling up on milk.

So, if I offer main and he only has a few bits, should I not offer banana or yoghurt after? Just get him out the chair?
He tend to say no and push the plate away when he is done, but as soon as I remove it he asks for "more" by signing so I know he still wants to eat something.

Offer small amounts of main- crackers, cheese, fruit for example, so he has plenty of bits to pick and choose between
I'd consider these snacks not main?

It just seems counter intuitive to not give food when he asks, but equally I know he can't just fill up on crap!

I guess what's difficult is he's learnt if he says no to the main he gets a nice yoghurt, sometimes 2, so breaking this cycle is probably the jet to moving forwards.

I found when my DS has fussy phases having shared foods helps, e.g. put all spag bol, garlic bread, corn on cob in the middle and he (and you) serves himself so taking more control of what goes on his plate and coming back for more. I do this a lot when trying to introduce new or different foods and it works much better than just playing his up.

As PP have mentioned it's a cycle, he knows he's going to get his favourites. Its all about control and this is one area he has some element of his life he has some control over.

If I'm giving a pudding, I leave the main on the highchair tray, I find my LO will often go back for a few more bites afterwards. I also sometimes give a savoury "dessert" instead of yogurt/fruit so might be an oatcake or breadstick with cream cheese, especially if I think he hasn't eaten enough dinner. A snacky plate is a good idea (we often do this for lunch), gives them an element of choice, it might not look like a full meal to you but might be worth a go to encourage him to try a few new things.

You're probably right about the milk . He should be having roughly 10 floz a day and he seems a little Uber sone days and a little over on others so it probably works out over the week?

PPs have suggested stopping pudding, this is a great idea. He probably won't like it but he'll soon get used to the idea.

April's suggestion of a shared food is a good one. I know this can be more difficult with CMPA but it can be done, I've got CMPA and I cook the meals so most of ours are suitable

The Caroline Walker Trust have produced a great guide called Eating Well for 1 to 4 year olds, a practical guide. It gives some excellent tips and suggested menus. Hopefully it should help

Ditch the sugary stuff for now. He has developed a taste for it and the rest doesn't match up. He needs to redevelop a taste for the non sugary stuff. Shared food is a great idea. Focus on the mains and once he is eating that again you could give a little dessert.

I would break the habit of always having a pudding after a meal. It’s not needed.

If he doesn’t eat you can always offer a small snack a few hours later but only eating a little bit at a meal isn’t going to cause him to starve.