Returning to work with an 8.5 month old bottle refuser

[Gennz18]

Hi everyone

Just the topic really - any advice? DD is EBF - not really by choice to be honest but she has resolutely refused bottles from day 1.

I’ve dropped the afternoon BF and offer a sippy cup with formula which she will sometimes take, sometimes not (more often not). If she refuses I offer a snack which she seems to like. She’s on 3 solid meals & enjoys her food.

Currently I BF her first thing in the morning (7am ish), mid morning (10.30-11.30), then bedtime (6.30ish) and whenever she wakes in the night - at least once, sometimes twice, occasionally more 🤯

I’m going back to work in a couple of weeks & will need to drop the mid morning feed. She’ll be 9 months on the dot & will be in daycare 2 days, nanny 2 days.

Do I do the same as I’ve done for the afternoon one? Offer a formula sippy cup, snacks (e.g. cheese, yoghurt etc) & just cop the potential reverse cycling at night? 😭

I’m so over breastfeeding!!

Have you tried a sippy cup of breastmilk? You can switch to cow's milk at 12 months and bypass formula entirely.

You may well find she's perfectly happy with a sippy cup / snack when you're not there. Around that age my DD would happily go without boob is she was with DH and I wasn't there.

Oh, wait, just saw that you don't want to continue bfing. I have a friend who just offered the formula before the breast every time. Didn't stress if LO wouldn't take it, but offered it consistently. Gradually, her LO took to it.

Woman here with a similar problem, perhaps advice given to her will help you: baby hysterical if offered milk from anything but breast

Reagan I pumped initially but she just resolutely refused - it’s not the liquid, it’s the fact it’s not coming out of a boob!! I’ve been firm with the afternoon feed with not offering BF but feel like dropping more milk feeds this way might not be ideal.

MoreGin - I would like to think this will be true but have been called back many times by DH, nanny etc to BF her when I’ve been out!! stubborn little ratbag 😂 maybe the change of scene at daycare and seeing what other kids do might help?!

My daughter was the same but I went back to work full time when she was 5 months! I expressed during the day to maintain supply. Did leave it but she only had the odd suck that's it. In the end she reverse cycled (fed more at night) then she progressed quickly with her weaning onto solids. On days I wasn't at work she'd feed in the daytime. On work days she'd just wait! I ebf her until she was 2 1/2.

With your baby being that bit older I'd leave the formula/expressed milk for the day. He will likely hold out until you get home. Leave plenty of yoghurts etc and he'll be just fine x

Thanks @SayNoToCarrots that is all good stuff. She doesn’t freak out at a sippy cup but it only wants to hold it herself and chuck it around the room 😑

I think she’ll be okay, I’m more worried about me and increased night feeds tbh. My DS was the complete opposite - loved bottles so much I had to limit them as he went on a complete BF strike at 3 months!!

Would she not be ok with just the morning and bedtime feed. Is the middle of the day feed still essential do you think? She may drop this naturally and you know she is eating we for meals so hopefully getting plenty nutrients there

How much were you feeding at night @pitterpatterbaby?

I feed at least once but 3x is not unheard of so I suppose I’m used to it at least 😭

My son wouldn't take a bottle either. I returned to work at 6 months and the 3 days I was at work 8-6 he just had a few sips of expressed milk of formula from a cup. I sent bottles in incase the nursery staff had any better luck than me but they didn't!
I stopped expressing as he wouldn't have any milk from a bottle and my supply adjusted it's self. I just starting feeding him once in the morning and once before bed. He carried on breastfeeding until he was nearly 3! The waking at night will soon stop. By a year mine was fed to sleep at 7 and he woke at 7 x x

Oh thanks @Cotswoldsmama that gives me hope!!

@ooplesandbanoonoos I guess I am hoping she would be? DS was such a bottle monster for ages I knew he was getting loads of milk in him even after I completely stopped BFing at about 10 months. With this one I’m totally clueless!

I would just bulk out with other food and may be even mix formula into things she is eating if you are worried. I think one mid morning feed will be easy to drop.
My baby is also a bottle refuser and we are having some success with a doidy cup (amazon etc) which is a tilted beaker rather than her having to suck and she drinks formula from this.
Good luck.

I returned to work 4 days a week when bottle refusing DS was 10 months. He ate and drank water in the day from a sippy cup and then breastfed morning and bedtime. TBH he did reverse cycle a bit, feeding more at night but we co-slept so I'm not sure exactly how many times! Then just gradually cut down until he was only having a bedtime feed which stoped about 2yo.

For me this was the path of least resistance compared to faffing with expressing or trying to persuade him to take a bottle!

If she's eating three meals a day and breastfeeding morning and night then she is getting enough nutrition and doesn't need to feed at night. It's a comfort thing perhaps you should tackle that before you go back to work then at least both of you will be getting good sleep. She will be so busy with all that goes on at nursery, she'll be fine with a sippy cup. Nursery staff are used to dealing with it all. I worked in a nursery when I was 18 and barring one exception there wasn't a child that couldn't be settled or comforted.

I'm in a very similar position with a 9 month old EBF bottle refuser.

He started nursery last week and, after a bit of trial and error, we have discovered that he will take formula if it is cold (made with boiled water though, obviously) and mixed into a smoothie with a little fruit purée.

I reason that if I would give him the formula and fruit purée separately, there is no harm in mixing them together if it means he will take it.

He is also really fussy about cups. He will generally take water from a sippy cup but will only drink the formula/smoothie from a 360 cup. They are a brilliant invention and the most consistently spill-proof cup I've found.

https://www.boots.com/munchkin-7oz-miracle-360-trainer-cup-blue-10216210?cmmmc=bmmmGoogle+Boots+PLAsAs--(GB:Whoop!)+Boots+Shopping+-+Category+-+Baby+-+High+Margin+-+Mobile---(GB:Whoop!)+Munchkin&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIisGIvqPQ4AIVbrvtCh30mwWxEAQYAiABEgKAJDD_BwE

Good luck!

My sister's baby was like this, after trying everything on the market she actually took milk from a straw cup (can get them from 9 months+) in the end very happily, my son also much preferred a straw cup at this age, we got the Avent one. But echo others if she's having three meals plus snacks them shell be fine x

Thank you everyone I feel reassured!!

@Polestar50 that cup looks brilliant, I’ll give it a whirl.

@MumUnderTheMoon I know I should sort the nightfeeds but tbh she feeds for 5 min & goes right back to sleep so I just can’t find the energy to care! She’s in a cot in her own room so I’m hopefully that she’ll sleep through in her own time. I was much more militant with her older brother - night weaned him at 7 months by getting DH to do all settling etc. it didn’t help the sleep at all and we were on our knees with exhaustion so I’m just taking the -lazy- path of least resistance this time.

I’d actually love to stop BFing as my annoying body holds on to every kg until I’ve weaned completely (and there are plenty of them 😑) in case of sudden famine (no such luck) - oh well. It will be finished soon!

Try a straw cup (babies often prefer them to sippy cups).

Also, try formula mixed with baby cereal on a spoon. My bottle refuser had this when I was away.

Do be careful about how much yogurt she gets, as dairy products should not be eaten in excess in the first year.