BLW anxious

[Babney]

I'm a bit anxious about baby led weaning.

I know I'm not being logical & understand about the gag reflex etc.

Could those who tried it put my mind at ease & answer these...

When you give a slice of fruit or toast, do they just gnaw at it or are their gums strong enough for a bite?

If a piece is in their mouth, does the gag reflex always work?

Is it enjoyable to eat food they're constantly gagging or did you find gagging subsided after a short period?

Would like some polite responses as usually on mumsnet there tends to be snidey replies to a lot of queries.
Thank you.

So, we're only three weeks into it so I'm sure that you will get better advice from more experienced people, but for what it's worth:

DS mostly gnaws or sucks on food, but can sometimes bite bits off (he does this particularly with toast, which is by far the food he is most successful in eating). He does gag a lot (at least once per meal), but he seems completely unfussed by it so we try not to make a deal out of it (but obviously watch him closely for any sign of actual choking - this hasn't happened). I don't know what you mean by 'gag reflex always working' - if he always gagged then he'd never swallow. It does seem to be reliably stopping him from attempting to swallow anything that would choke him - is that what you mean?

He's eating absolutely miniscule amounts (but his nappies reveal he is eating some!) but a million google searches have showed me that that's totally normal at this point. I didn't initially want to do BLW - he outright refused to be spoonfed - and I do sometimes wish he'd take food from a spoon as I see how much less he's eating than all my friends' babies. That said - and this speaks to your third question about fun - DH and I have both had so much fun with him self-feeding - it's genuinely brilliant to watch him problem solve to get the food to his mouth, it really feels like we're watching him learn in front of our eyes.

Thank you for a great response.

Their gums are definitely strong enough to take bites. My DD bit me once when I was checking for teeth and it bloody hurt!

As I understand it, if they can pick up a piece of food and place it in their mouth, the gag reflex should work as it develops before they can do this.

Not all babies gag. Some gag with every bite and still happily shovel food in and others never or rarely gag. They all seem pretty happy

Trying to remember back (DS is 7 now!) but I don't recall him gagging much. He liked gnawing on foods and eventually spitting out the remains; I remember pieces of well chewed meat and jacket potato skin being discarded after a good old chew! I do remember him gagging on apple as he would bite bits off. But he'd soon deal with it by himself and immediately eat some more so he never seemed bothered by it.

7 really Cornish? Is it just me or has that flown?

My lo is nearly 8 months. I was so so anxious about blw. Made a million threads, and basically just stuck to purees and spoon feeding I was with someone who could help me manage my anxiety. Little by little I increased the finger foods and yesterday did 3 meals with only finger foods and felt so accomplished.

I started with toast, which they just suck and it goes soggy, banana and soft pear. Then rice cakes, then broccoli, courgette, then cheesy pasta (rigatoni so she can pick it up) and now I'm fine with anything really - carrots, peppers, cauliflower, whatever. My advice would be start slow, take it off her if the gagging is too much for you but try to give a few finger foods a week as the practice will mean she gags less and less and it's fine.

Don't stress - food before 1 is just for fun - and so if you give her little tastes of things and the odd finger food to get her used to it, it'll be absolutely fine. It's practice you actually, as much as her! I know, I've spent the last 2 weeks exactly the same

I'm so glad to have come across this thread. I'm really anxious too. Every time DD gags her little eyes go so watery and red and she starts coughing a bit too- I worry that when she inhales for a breath to cough, the food might go down the windpipe. But she never seems upset. So I might persist- you have inspired me to try to build up courage.

The trouble is that even though DD is 8 months she still only accepts the super smooth purees. If there's texture in her mouth she just holds her mouth open while the food rests on her tongue, all the while with a worried expression.

I cooked up some rice and lentils yesterday and squished them with a fork. First I tried a bit myself and the food was getting stuck in MY mouth- couldn't imagine how she'd deal with it so I discarded it :(

How on earth to give things like meat, I have no idea.

How on earth to give things like meat, I have no idea. I would just give her a strip of chicken and let her get on with it

(Oh and sorry to not have been much help OP- I guess I'm writing here to put down my thoughts and hopefully bump your thread up a bit for more advice)

But can she choke on chicken?

My 2 dad are now 12 and 10 (years not months!). They were both BLW and survived. The best advice I can give you is to experiment. Give them as many different things as possible, and see what works. Dd1 favourite was wraps, with grated carrot and grated cheese, folded in half and in sandwich toaster, cut in strips. It took all the battle out of weaning, and with 2 very strong willed children, I am convinced purée weaning would have been hell!

Why would she choke on chicken? They very very rarely choke at all, the gag reflex stops them getting even close. Plus the problem really is with things that are round and capable of blocking the whole windpipe (like whole grapes). I haven't seen many perfectly round pieces of chicken.

Both of mine gagged most frequently to begin with but had stopped gagging completely within about 2 weeks.

If you're really stressing do a baby first aid course or watch YouTube videos on what to do in the case of choking but babies need to be able to develop their manual dexterity, their jaw strength and the muscles of their mouth on finger food. Remember, "noisy and red, let them go ahead; silent and blue, they need help from you". If baby is red and coughing/making noise, they are just gagging and are fine.

You need to learn the difference between choking and gagging. Choking is entirely silent. Gagging sounds horrible and will probably make you panic no end the first time it happens! Gagging is totally normal, infants’ gag reflex is much further forward (to protect them when little) so it does happen.

I would also suggest a baby first-aid course as well. It will reassure you if you know what to do in an emergency - not just for choking but all baby-related possibilities.

Dd was 100% BLW I started with steamed veggies and fish which were soft and easy to gum. Toast, rice cakes, soft fruit with Greek yogurt. Then as she got better at getting food to mouth I just gave her whatever I had. Start with one meal a day (I did lunch) and progress from there. Milk is still their main source of calories/nutrition until 1 so don’t worry if not a lot gets eaten in the beginning! By 1 dd was eating 3 full meals a day, exactly what I was having in miniature. I am way too lazy to prepare purées and cook different things so BLW just made sense for us.

If you find you’re stressed and too worried about finger foods just give purées. Babies pick up on the caregiver’s emotions and you want mealtimes to be fun and stress-free.

Agree with other posters, it's very unlikely she's going to choke on chicken. I'm not really sure why you're worried about it,are you very anxious TheRhythmnless?

The Caroline Walker Trust have produced a good guide called Eating well in the first year. I you have a look at page 31, it talks about suitable finger foods.

I'm not sure I would have eaten your lentil thing with enthusiasm either . Did you add any veg or spice?

You might be better getting your hands on the BLW cookbook. You're local library will probably have a copy

With things like chicken I just pre-shred them (if you think about it chicken goes quite stingy when you pull it apart- really easy for babies to grab a handful of).

You could try some of the melty crisp type things (there's loads of brands these days) as they literally disappear into a mush when they get wet but are nice and chunky to pick up and learn the hand to mouth action with.

As long as you can stand the mess I also put a big dollop of thick yoghurt on the high chair tray and let them basically play with it and lick it off their hands.

I'm not an overly anxious person Jilted- but all of these responses suggesting how silly it is to be anxious about BLW is reassuring 😊
I just need confidence I think. And trust that it will be ok.