Help my two year old won’t eat

[NattyA82]

My little boy is 2 years and 3 months and has always been a fussy eater but since his baby brother arrived in September it’s been even harder to get him to eat. We now have days that he barely eats anything and won’t even have crisps, chips or biscuits. He still gets milk several times a day which we think might be filling him up, so we’re restricting that to before bed only. We’ve tried letting him choose what he has, involving him in cooking and not offering him food until he asks for it. He’s healthy, full of energy and not skinny so don’t think there is a medical problem but we’d like him to eat better. Any advice?

He's probably reacting to perceived stress of mealtimes. Try letting him eat somewhere away from the table, have a picnic under it, or in a den, etc. And try hard to sound completely unbothered as to whether he eats or not and how he eats it (fingers rather than knife and fork) - some kids can't cope with what seems like constant criticism that comes with meals.

We had a very fussy eater so you have my complete sympathy. Here’s what worked for us

Eat together.

Never ask or cajole him to eat anything.

Never comment on what he has, or hasn’t eaten.

Serve really small portions, he can always ask for more.

Talk about things other than eating. I used to find a simple audio book worked sometimes like the Jolly Postman.

Keep a food diary over a week. Children often eat like birds some days and it’s easy to think they’re starving. If you look what he’s had over the week it should help to ease any anxiety you have.

As for the milk, according to page 15 of this guide from the Caroline Walker Trust they can have 200 ml of full fat milk or something like have a large banana and 100 ml of milk before bed.

Have you read My Child Won’t Eat! too?

Oh and if they’re not eating something, never, ever, ever offer an alternative. Just assume they’re not hungry and clear away when you given them enough time.

Thanks everyone! That’s all really helpful x

How are you getting on today Natty?

I’m in the same boat with my dd the same age. She only seems to eat some dry Cheerios or crisps and biscuits and chocolate. She used to devour fruit and eat other things but I just feel likes it’s less and less. She ate a tiny bit of grape today but spat quite a bit of it back out.

What percentiles is he? Height and weight?

My daughter was like this. The first three years of her life, she just didn't seem interested in food at all, was (is) small but full of energy despite some days only eating raisins! It was super stressful and I dreaded mealtimes. We (verrrrry) slowly got through it by: 1) identifying the small handful of meals she usually would eat (omelette, fishfingers, pasta, most fruits in her case) and slowly introducing new elements (like swap peas for beans, a slightly different sauce, etc) 2) involving her in cooking/shopping. She's four now and still fairly picky and generally lacking in appetite, but loves cooking and eats three balanced(ish) meals a day. By the way, her baby sister eats like a horse so I'm pretty sure it's nothing we did wrong!

Thanks that’s helpful to know! I have a three month old too so was wondering how we prevent it next time! As long as they are full of energy I guess no biggie, I find with Ollie though he’s in a much better mood when he eats lots. We’ve stopped offering him food and he asks for things now (I plate up things he likes and leave them where he can see them) and that seems to have helped him eat more, rather than when we were arguing and bargaining about food!