Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Baby wants boob even though I'm not breast feeding

14 replies

Ellsiedodah · 17/12/2018 15:05

Hi all, I've been in floods this afternoon as a week or so ago I decommissioned my boobs after a period of combi feeding eventually dried up my boobs to such an extent that my baby eventually grimaced when offered. After a couple of weeks of wimpering on the dregs of my breasts I thought this was some kind acceptance, but the last week he's been asking for my boob in spite of there being nothing in there and having had a big bottle of formula. I didn't want to give up bf-ing but after a long stressful period of baby not growing and expressing just not delivering enough I finally gave up. But it's absolutely crushing to see my baby wanting it and me being unable to give it. I thought I'd show him there was nothing there still but he sucked and sucked and wimpered, then finally went to sleep on my empty boob. The poor creature looked up confused to see his mum weeping. And even after he woke shortly after he began his nap he still wanted it. It's made me unbelievably sad. Has anyone else experienced this and how did you deal with it? Thank you x

OP posts:
Liesmyparentstoldme · 17/12/2018 15:13

Sorry, I don't have any experience of this, but didn't want to read and run. Just wanted to say I'm so sorry to hear, it sounds heart breaking. You're clearly doing everything you can Flowers

Spam88 · 17/12/2018 15:36

Sounds really hard OP :( when I stopped I just kept them covered up and within a week or two she stopped looking for them. Now she likes to pinch my nipples though...

JiltedJohnsJulie · 17/12/2018 16:13

How you are talking about your experience of Bfing and yourself is quite negative. I wonder if you’d had the chance to talk through your experience with someone who is trained? I’d really recommend giving one of the BFing Helplines a call Thanks

MrsTerryPratcett · 17/12/2018 16:18

I thought I'd show him there was nothing there still but he sucked and sucked and wimpered, then finally went to sleep on my empty boob. The poor creature looked up confused to see his mum weeping.

I think you might be looking at your baby's responses through your sadness. It's possible your baby wanted to suck for comfort (no milk needed for that), fall asleep smelling his mother's skin and feel warm and close. The whimpering could be tiredness and the sucking could be comfort.

You are feeling horrible about your experience of BFing. I'm really sorry about that. But don't mistake it for failing or your baby being sad.

Ellsiedodah · 18/12/2018 22:27

Thank you all so much for such kind words.

Mrsterrypratchett, that is a good reminder. It sounds like you're saying it can be normal or ok for a baby to suck even without milk... I'd be happy to do this but worry it might be confusing for him?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratcett · 18/12/2018 22:29

Well they suck dummies for comfort and no milk comes out of those either. And a dummy isn't soft, warm and smelling like his mum.

milleniumhandandprawn · 18/12/2018 22:37

How old is he op?
I basically gave up feeding my Dd in October - i work full time and the night feeds were killing me.
She now will ask for it at every opportunity but I only let her have a try at the weekend (no time otherwise!)
I think she may get a few drops out but certainly no volume at all - as mrsTP said its the comfort, smell, familiarity, cuddles and the fact they have you guaranteed firmly to themselves for a time.
There's no reason to not let him have a nibble from time to time if you're both comfortable with that.
You hormones are probably whacked as well. Please cut yourself some slack- you're doing a great job!

MrsGg8 · 18/12/2018 22:59

I had a very similar experience and introduced a dummy which worked the trick and then he would spit it out once he was satisfied/content.

Ohyesiam · 18/12/2018 23:03

Op, it’s what breasts are for, and your baby knows that. It’s fine for him to suck just because he loves you.

Redskyandrainbows67 · 18/12/2018 23:05

I’d just let him suck for comfort

cheeseonion · 18/12/2018 23:06

Sorry you're going through this, I remember it well and it was tough.

My DD did this but also chugged her bottle happily. When she was about 8 months old and not breastfed for 7 1/2 months she carefully watched her friend being breastfed before "latching" onto my arm like a limpet. At that point I was able to find it funny, as she's just exploring the world.

I think it's an instinct and feeding cue rather than her being distressed. Don't beat yourself up X

SummerStrong · 18/12/2018 23:10

You aren't failing him, you are feeding him and giving him comfort. There is so much guilt associated with BF or giving up or struggling, it's really not fair.

Why don't you introduce a dummy and cuddle him skin on skin while he has the dummy, it's obviously not hunger so it's just the comfort and cuddles he wants.

You are doing the very best for him and sound like a wonderful mum

Thissameearth · 18/12/2018 23:14

Sorry to hear that OP, agree with others that you might be negatively viewing something they find quite pleasant on its own terms without milk. But just throwing in that I understand you can restart lactation, i‘m still bfing my toddler and follow a few bf posters on FB and it seems that relactation advice is possible for those who regret stopping/were not given poor or no advice

://abm.me.uk/breastfeeding-information/

Thissameearth · 18/12/2018 23:16

abm.me.uk/breastfeeding-information/relactation/

Apologies - link above. and I of course mean given poor or no advice rather than not given poor advice Blush

New posts on this thread. Refresh page