Weaning/ HV

[emmy1997]

Hi, first time posting. This will be long. I have a DS who is 5 months, started to softly introduce solids to him, baby porridge in the morning milk and one vegetable a day. He holds his head perfectly, swallowing it no spit out really enjoys it. I have a HV who quite honestly is just a cow.shes reported me and DH to SS for arguing/ giving Ds purées etc when she doesn't agree with it, any advice ? She's so invasive and treats myself and DH like we're morons and now SS are involved because if her "concerns" I feel like she's doing it because we haven't listened to her. hV turned up 3 months after DS was born no letter phone call etc just turned up out of the blue. There's been other issues including her lying about visiting when she hadn't, sending non existent letters etc

Do whatever SS want you to do.

I can understand recommendations about not weaning until after 6 months, I think in the UK people wean prematurely.
However unsure why the referral, I've been through similar though, just basically do what SS want.

No idea how it got as far as SS but just do what they say. Whether you think they are right or not it has gone too far for you to be able to argue about your principles.

How bad is the arguing emmy?

I imagine the referral will be about the arguments rather than weaning a little earlier than the guidelines, but now SS are involved I would follow any advice they give.

@emmy1997 please have a read of this and as the other posters have already said, please do everything SS say

I'm a social worker and I've weaned all my children between 5-6 months because that's when they were ready. No one cares as long as you aren't feeding teaspoons of salt to a 3 week old.

The weaning is a red herring. Stop kidding yourself that is why you have been referred onwards to social services.

Your HV might be a cow but she's a cow who has concerns about your children. Do everything you can to work with the professionals involved in your life rather than make excuses for their involvement.

I’ve just reread your first post, are you putting the porridge in the baby’s bottle? If you are, please stop now. It’s a huge choking risk:

A little more about feeding baby cereal from a bottle…
Doctors and other experts recommend that you never give baby cereal in a bottle unless recommended by baby’s doctor for a specific medical condition. Here are some of their reasons:

It is a choking hazard.
The cereal takes away from the amount of milk in the bottle (adds carbohydrates and dilutes the nutrient density), and baby may not get adequate milk volume for proper growth and development.
Baby is being given a higher concentration of calories without being able to regulate her own intake. This can lead to weight problems in the future.
If baby’s doctor suggests thickened feedings for reflux, consider asking about alternatives, as many doctors question this practice and it has the potential to cause more harm than good.

Sorry didn’t make it clear, after typing “its a huge choking risk”, I was quoting from Kellymom.

Do you know what to do if your baby does choke @emmy1997? Very sadly, I know someone whose baby choked and died from this practice.

The referral to SS is nothing to do with weaning! Social services don't give a shit about giving a baby a jar at 4 months. It's your relationship with DC father that's the issue.

SS DO care about it there are flags that indicate you or your child are at risk of domestic violence. Listen to what they have to say.

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

Of course I'm going to listen to their advice they're professionals I just don't agree with it as I feel my HV has over reacted. The arguing isn't bad, when DS was born I had very bad pnd still do and was spending a lot of time with parents as couldn't cope, tongue tie, bad breastfeeding, loosing lots of weight, partner at work 24/7 hense why the arguments occurred. She knocked on our door in the middle of an argument. Me and DH haven't argued for around 3 1/2 months.im not feeding DS porridge out of a bottle never hear of anyone doing that before and yes I know how to help a choking child as I'm training to be a paramedic.

I realise arguing isn't brilliant but I feel as though she's taken it too far and jumped to conclusions. My DH isn't violent neither am I, both clean people, not chavy, we don't smoke or drink. Both work full time have a good income etc. The social worker says DS is s child in need, having an assessment next Tuesday to see if he is or not. I think they're wasting there time

Really sorry, I just though from how you’d worded it that you may be putting the porridge in a bottle.

My PFB had tt and it’s hell isnt it. Have you had it divided? If not, I really, really recommend you do, having gone through years of it myself

Perhaps the HV was overreacting but if you engage, which you say you will, I think you’ll be fine. It’s inconvenient though and stressful, I get that.

How’s the PND now? Are you getting any support? Have you spoken to apni? I’ve heard they’re very good.

How was the both too? Was it traumatic by any chance?

*how was the birth

It isn't going to help to be combative with SS.

How bad are/were the arguments? They don't do child in need assessments unless there are genuine concerns.

Haha no that's fine! It's very watered down baby porridge I give him anyway. I still have Pnd and it's not good gotten worse because of all this drama with HV. I'm on tablets/ therapist. I'll look at the site thank you. My birth was amazing. Water birth. 5 hours in total, no stitching needed, DS was a good size and nothing wrong with him. The arguments were bad. Screaming fits, him leaving with DS one night then me Leaving with DS, unhealthy yes so I don't have an issue with why she referred me for the arguing. What I don't get is why child in need ? He's a very healthy 5 month old developing really well, rolling, crawling able to sit up on his own for 2 mins. I feel as though it's a tad extreme the title child in need

I don’t think they are criticising your lovely DS as all, he sounds fabulous

The title “child in need” sounds like a clumsy title that’s in use. I think what they mean is that they have a couple of concerns that they need to investigate before they rule them out.

Are there any groups for Mums who have PND running locally? Around here we have one that meets monthly and has an active FB group. You might find the Postnatal Health section helpful too

In my opinion he is fabulous.

I do hope you're right. There are yes and I've been unfortunately I didn't enjoy it one bit.the women seemed very cliche like. I'm only 21 so still quite young.

Thank you so much I really appreciate the help you've given me I'll check out the PND groups on here and Facebook x

There are yes and I've been unfortunately I didn't enjoy it one bit.the women seemed very cliche. If you have a number of someone who runs it, it might be worth ringing them up and saying that you are nervous of going again and can they help you. Most people who run groups will usually bend over backwards to help. If they won’t, you’ve lost nothing.

I think sometimes when you go to a new group, it’s easy to imagine that everyone you meet are already great friends, but often this simply isn’t the case. More often than not, at least one other Mum will be there for the first time or will have joined recently. Maybe give it one more shot?

They did the whole child in need thing sigh me too, more dramatic than it sounds, believe me.
And I know what you mean about the cliche groups.