Extended breastfeeding - your stories please!

[crazychemist]

Hi there!

My DD is just coming up for 2. My original plan had been (assuming that all was going ok with feeding) to keep it up until at least her second birthday.

I'd love to hear some stories from those that have carried on this long, particularly how did the story end? And how did you deal with negative reactions from people?

I fed til two and a bit.

It just fizzled out. He stopped suddenly for a fortnight, then started again but stopped for good a few weeks later.

No one offered opinions except the dad tbh. I didn't do a survey and didn't mention it though unless asked

Wow, at the moment I can't see DD ever stopping of her own accord! Did you say no to him often before that?

I'm leaning towards instigating an "only at home" rule. I think my DH would prefer that too. I'm tired of only wearing clothes that give easy access!

I BF both of mine to around two (DS1 was about 20 months I think and DS2 was 27 months). DS1 stopped of his own accord, but I was quite happy for him to do so as I was ready to have my body back at that point. DS2 I did 'don't offer, don't refuse' and used distraction to wittle it down and down until he stopped, because otherwise I don't think ever would've done!

As for disapproval - the only person who was openly disapproving was my DM - who thought I should've stopped at a year with both of them (as she had done with us). TBH, I didn't advertise the fact that I was still BFing my toddlers - it was mainly just in the evenings by then anyway or when they were ill - so it wasn't done in public. If anyone ever did question me I'd tell them that the WHO advice is for all women to BF until the age of two, which usually shut people up!

I fed DS until he was about 27 months and he just stopped asking- he was never massively fussed though tbh, and was on just a bedtime feed for about the last 4-5 months. Think it totally depends on the child! I haven't really discussed with too many people beyond those I knew were doing natural term feeding; my NCT group were variously supportive and (I suspect) slightly bemused but would never have said anything, DH less supportive after he was a year bit pretty much left me to it.

DC1 I stopped just before 3. We were down to one morning feed and I couldn't face another winter of waking up 45 mins early (slow feeder).

I gave a warning by saying the milk was running out and we probably had enough feeds to last to end of November. He still remembers his last feed now, nearly 3 yrs later.

Honestly, he'd still be on if he had his way. He is desperate to go back on, as I'm now feeding DC2.

DC2 is coming up 2yrs. Will probably end up doing the same again.

juneau the WHO recommendation was why I wanted to keep it up till now if I could and she was still interested. I don't think she'll stop of her own accord any time soon (if at all), so I might try some distraction. She feeds much more often if we're at home, I think it's just how she likes to relax sometimes.

thinkofawittyname did you deliberately cut down before that point? How did he take it? I'm a bit worried about having a public battle with her. It's not like she asks at shops or anything like that, but if there's a sofa (birthday parties, visiting friends) then she's very likely to ask at some point.

Fed DS2 to 27 months. He wouldn't have stopped of his own accord (or not this side of puberty it seemed) so I made a promise to myself that my New Year's resolution would be to go cold turkey. It didn't quite work like that but I got him off the breast over a period of three or four weeks. It wasn't an issue, he was ready, it was just a habit by then.

The big difference was that we had co-slept up to that point and we put him into his own bed at the same time as weaning him - I got my first unbroken night's sleep in more than 2 years!

Not at all. I was originally planning to let him self-ween. It just naturally fell that way. Some of it was due to my availability - after May leave I went back part time. Less than. Year later I was in A different full time job. He'd feed more frequently at weekends for a while and then this became less and less until we were just feeding in the morning.

I used never offer, never refuse for the last 7-8 months. Worked for both of us really well.

Fed dd until nearly 3. Mainly morning and evening feed. She didn't want to stop but I was ready so just weaned her really slowly and it was fine. I never noticed any negative comments. I was quite confident with bf eg bf in public, family gatherings etc so I don't think anyone would have dared. Also come from a pro bf family. No DP to have an opinion either so just got on with it. I'm so happy I carried on that long. Absolutely love it and DD 5 still remembers being BF so it's a lovely bond we have.

I’m still feeding DD2 at 2 years 7 months. She only feeds at bedtime when the lights go off and I’m tucked into bed beside her, for maybe 15 mins as it calms her down. It’s been this way for the past few months. She was on 1/2 night feeds as well before this since she turned 2. Il probably stop fairly soon. I’ve had a few nights out and she’s fine going to sleep without it.

I didn’t plan to feed her for this long but I just found it handy and she loves it.

DD BF till she was 5 and a half, a little longer even. She would have been happy to carry on but I reached a point where it was too uncomfortable. DS is 4 and still BFs most mornings and most nights. No one except my DH knows, I know most people would judge. It worked / works for us, the years of BFing fly by and I feel blessed that we have had this experience.

I fed DD til about 2. She only fed at home from about 14/15 months, and by the end it was just at bedtime. I did don't offer don't refuse and she stopped for about a week. She then asked again and I distracted her, then she never asked again. Total non event.

DS is 12 months, total boob monster and a much worse sleeper. I think I'll wean him a bit younger as I'm a bit over it to be honest

I fed my daughter until she was just a scratch off of being 2 years.

I mainly stopped really because I was surrounded by judgemental people and it had got slightly awkward. I had planned to bf for another 6 months maximum but being told ‘it’s disgusting’ (by a family member) and some other comments like ‘it’s perverted’ was too much for me.

@MellowMelly I'm really sorry to hear that

Like a pp I was a really confident BF-er. Fed anywhere and everywhere. Answered "you can't do that here" with "watch me if you like". And just cracked on. Weirdest experience was a women thanking me for BF-OMG in public. I was a bit bemused: I wasn't doing it for her

@ThinkOfAWittyNameLater

Shocking attitudes from some people really!

I can honestly say I was also pretty confident with feeding my daughter anywhere and had mastered the art of doing it discreetly. I was able to handle any remarks made by random people (which were very few) but when it comes from family members it’s quite distressing.

Still BFing DD at 2y7m. Had no intention of feeding this long but she still wants to and I don’t mind. Just morning (if we’ve got time) and bedtime now; if she asks in the daytime I fob her off with cows’ milk and say “save my milk for bedtime” which she accepts. No idea when it will end!!

Still going - 3.5. Same as other posters- only a handful of friends and my DH know.

There's a good AMA at the moment by a poster who bf till her DD was 6.
Mine is almost 3 and still going strong. I've been apart from her for 4 days and though she didn't ask for milk immediately on my return, she did at bedtime and slipped straight back into our normal routine of milk with stories (before teeth), and then in bed with me from about 6.30am.
I tend not to let her bf when we are out and about, that's a change since she was about 2.5, and suddenly seemed more able to take a refusal or delay without drama.

I fed one til 2 and the other til 18 months-ish so not as long as you. With both I talked about how the milk was running out and they'd soon have used it all up. Then picked a day and said that the milk had all gone because they had drunk it all. Both accepted this without concern though I missed having an easy way to defuse a tantrum or get an over-tired child to sleep. But after about a week or so, it was really mentioned and they quickly found other ways to get comfort holding a boob.

Good luck. You'll know when you are ready.

Fed until just over two when I got pregnant again and developed an horrific breastfeeding aversion. Was horrid. Just couldn't do it. Had to go cold turkey with it. It's been a relief if I'm honest and dc coped really well!

I fed dd1 until she was 39 months, she had her last feed at Christmas that year, I was quite open about feeding her, I was bloody proud of it! I did wean her down, & tell her we would be stopping at Christmas, so she had some eating & knew what was coming, I'm sure if I hadn't, she would still be there now! Lol!

I'd already fed ds until he was 13 months, when someone I worked with kept telling me how gross it was & I 'needed to get him off that fucking tit!' I only ever really fed him at home, as I was so embarrassed, but that comment really spoilt our little breastfeeding bond for me, I so wish I had had the guts to continue longer!

Now feeding dd2 who is 14 months, it's only morning, nap time & bed time, but I want to continue until she is 3 as I did with dd1, people's reactions don't bother me anymore, my children, my body, my decision! Dp thinks they should breastfeed until 2, but, not his body, so although I listen to his opinion & respect it, I know what I am doing for our babies is right!

I hoped to breastfeed til age two (which is the WHO recommended minimum btw - most people don't catch that bit!). We are now at 2y 8m and have one feed a day after naptime tho she would feed much more if she could. I can't say I love it but I love how much she loves it and at a recent hospital appointment was encouraged to continue as she is still gaining important nourishment from it (til age 3). This made me happy as I feel like such an anomaly. I do feel nervous about what people might say and do not broadcast it which is a sad state of affairs. I also struggle with balancing her demands for it and her baby brother's (8 weeks old).

I will follow her lead but will be happy if she stops at some point aged 3.

Wow ladies, thanks for your stories!

It's really nice to hear that you mostly didn't feel judgement or have difficulty when it did end. Sorry to those of you that had negative reactions from people.

I think I might see how she feels about cutting it back to wake up, nap time and bedtime. Hopefully that way she'll get the nutrition and snuggles and I won't get the funny looks when she asks for it! I'm happy to keep it up at bedtime for a lot longer, but I want to feel like I'm the one calling the shots about my body when we're out and about.

DH would never question, but I think he thinks it's odd that I still bf, and I know both his parents think it's really weird. DMIL thinks it's controlling and prevents other people from bonding with DD, so it's really awkward when she visits