She won’t feed herself

[Loops81]

I’m getting a bit frustrated with my 10 month-old’s feeding. She eats fairly well if I spoon-feed her mashed-up stuff that she likes - fish pie, bolognese, veggie pasta, scrambled eggs. If I hand her a loaded spoon she’ll get it into her mouth. But if I leave bits of food on her tray, she won’t eat them - she’s more likely to fling them onto the floor. Breakfast is particularly stressful, She flings/smears but barely eats. When we started weaning she would pick food up and chomp on it, but I feel like I’ve discouraged her from doing this by spoon-feeding her and I’m worried she now won’t recognise/eat individual veggies. I know food throwing is a normal phase but I’m also getting really fed up with the mess! She’s also having 20-25oz formula a day.

How have others transitioned from spoon-feeding to self-feeding? Would you go cold turkey in the mush and just wait for them to feed themselves?

She probably thinks eating is something initiated by you - your job is to get food to her and hers is to chew it. She’s not associating the food on her plate with something to eat

I’d personally stop feeding her. I’d sit down with her for every meal and feed myself visibly in front of her and let her watch, but otherwise leave her to chucking stuff around. She’ll get the hang of it

(Even once they’re good at feeding themselves the mess persists I’m afraid!)

She's only ten months old! I still spoon feed my fourteen month old some things. Feed her a little longer and wait until she is ready to feed herself.

Do you sit down and eat with her? Babies love to copy. I’d stop the spoon-feeding, put whatever you’re having on her tray, and sit and chat with her while you’re eating. She should start to get the hang of it quickly.

The mess doesn’t get any better btw, you just need to come to terms with it! But a big cheap shower curtain and put under her high chair, makes clean up easier.

10 months is still very young, mine just waved a spoon about at that age. Perhaps put some finger food on her tray, and some mashed, and a spoon. She will get the hang of it in her own time, there really is no rush.

My 9 month old is very good at feeding himself fruit, toast and other snacks but put vegetables in front of him and they are flung on the floor for the dog. 🤷‍♀️

At some point when she was about 7 months, my DD just picked up a huge piece of cake from her auntie's plate. And then another one.

I didn't know she could do it and I'd been spoon feeding her porridge-type stuff for lunch. She had been grabbing into her plate (we now know why). Since then I feed her bread and whatever else is easy to eat for her at lunch and spoon feed puree at dinner which she likes. She no longer grabs into her plate now, unless we're too slow.

The one thing doesn't have anything to do with the other. Maybe if you bring it to her mouth yourself, she'll know it's food? I have the impression that our DD sometimes doesn't know if it's to eat or not, so i put it towards her mouth and she tastes it and then recognises the next bit.

She isn't even a year old you are expecting too much put her meals in front of her spoon for her spoon for you and let her crack on.

If she was 10, then yes it's a problem, but at 10 months? Why is it an issue spoon feeding her?? She'll get the hang of feeding herself eventually, I really can't see why you'd be concerned at this stage.

@Madeline18 14 months? (So 1 year old). They should be feeding themselves.

@Loops81 as others have said, sit and eat together as babies love copying! Also play dinner games where you mimic eating with cutlery.

@mrssnootypants she does mainly but yoghurt and soup are still beyond her!

I'd be led by her.

I spoon feed my 15 month old. Lots of people do.

Militant blw is not for everyone.

Militant blw 😂😂 I’ve heard it all now!

Thanks all. Yes, I know she is still young and of course I don’t expect her to feed herself a full plate of steak and chips just yet! Just want to make sure she’s got the chance to learn, while still getting a decent amount of food in her. Rather than on the floor/in her hair.

At that age they really need helped can you do a bite for you a bite for her then she gets to grips with the finger food being for her, weaning is messy she is going to get it all over her as she learns

My 15 month is really variable with eating. He will do some things himself but he's not hugely bothered about the whole eating thing and if I didn't feed him he'd not eat much. I know that babies should be feeding themselves from an earlier age but some take longer to get there.

Mine was exactly the same at that age and had to be spoon fed everything. She’s now 13 months and did indeed feed herself steak, chips and green beans last weekend in a French restaurant without dropping any of it on the floor. Ride it out, she’ll get there. And I didn’t do anything specific, just kept offering odd bits of finger food until she eventually got the hang of it.

DS has just kind of to got the do it all himself and not let us help him phase, he's almost 13 mo. Not particularly efficient but he wants to and is learning fast