Baby led weaning/ HV advice.

[Kittysparks1]

I'll try to keep this brief.

My son is 7months old. At 5 months old it was discovered he has put on wayyyy too much weight. I was overfeeding him and didn't even know. So fast forward to 6 months and after research iv decided to do blw so he can call the shots and I don't mess up again.
Fast forward to today- got him weighed and he has stayed on the same line. Relief.

Currently we have 5 bottles of formula 8oz a day. He usually takes about 6-7oz on average. He has breakfast and either lunch or tea, depending on what we are doing. It's offered an hour after a milk feed. He has just started to swallow, although not much (it's hard to tell). Anyway I'm not concerned.

HV advice today -drop a bottle. Offer him solids before his bottle. Give him 3 meals a day. All of this should have been achieved already. She also said I should be more in control of how much he actually eats, or at least aware.

So now I need guidance because I thought we were doing alright. I though food was fun until one. My plan was to add the 3rd meal in once he starts eating/swallowing more and just let him drop his feeds when he wants. Do I drop a feed and give him 3 solid meals a day knowing he doesn't actually eat much? I got a bit confused with the hv and ended up nodding and smiling.

Has your HV said what’s shes basing this on? Even in the NHS info on starting solids it says to “move to offering solids 3 times a day between 8 and 9 months”. Why is she concerned about this anyway? Has she said?

If she questions you about it again, ask her to plot his weight and height on his chart. Weight alone is useless without knowing babies height or knowing if baby is rapidly moving up the weight centiles without growing taller.

As far as I can see, you are doing everything right. I think there was a recent study that said babies who self feed are less likely to have obesity later.

My HV gave out outdated and sometimes quite frankly dangerous advice st times. My favourite line was, “oh that’s interesting, I haven’t heard that before, can you let me know how I read the research as I’d love to read more on it.” She did hate me though

I think based on the baby led weaning approach you’re doing great, my DD weaned quickly but still wasn’t on 3 meals a day at 7 months.
I would think about offering solids a bit longer after a bottle though as he’s probably quite full still only an hour after. At that age I was doing 4 bottles and tried to do 1.5-2 hour gap between bottle and food but I also remember it being quite hard to manage meal times when you also consider naps
At some points I only knew that DD had eaten because it was clear by her nappies as it is hard with blw to work out what’s gone in and what’s been thrown or squashed into the highchair

I think that offering solids an hour after milk is pretty standard advice. Fine if you want to increase the gap but I don’t think the OP is doing anything wrong, especially as her DS is stable in his weight centile. Not criticising you, just don’t want the OP to think she’s got it wrong when nothing so far has indicated a problem

Thank you for your replies.

The hv really confused me in fairness. She said that because NHS advice changed to weaning at 6 months it's means they have to "get up to speed" in less time than had we started at 4 months.
She also categorically stated that food is more important than milk at 7 months old. When I said that some light research I had done indicated the opposite she said "it depends what expert you ask".

For what it's worth I tried him on 4 bottles yesterday and then was up at midnight until 2am when I relented and gave him a bottle. This could be coincidental, but it's his first night time waking for about a month...

His height has only been taken once. He is a big boy, he was born a few weeks early on a low percentile and is now on the 91st for both height and weight. His dad is over 6ft so not sure if it's genetics.

I'm wondering if she was trying to tell me he is too big... in a roundabouts way. But he is yet to move, he doesn't roll etc so I imagine when he starts moving he will be alright...!

Sorry but I’m not sure your HV quite understands the Weaning guidelines. The guidelines were brought in partly to stop the rush to drop bottles.

From what you’ve said, I can’t honestly see what the problem is. If she says anything again, I’d definitely ask her to plot his height as well as weight. Weight should only be a problem if he’s going up the centiles, so say if he’s gone from 50th to 91st in a short time. From what you’ve said he has stayed in the same centile at his last weigh in. I wouldn’t get him weighed more than once a month and remember, getting them weighed is completely optional

Don’t worry about him being on the 91st, as long as he’s fairly stable around there. By the nature of the centiles some babies have to be at the top just like some babies are on the 2nd. Not all adults reach the same height and weigh the same after all. My DN has always been on the 98th for both weight and height. She is perfectly in proportion and is now a very elegant, very tall, teen

And you’re right, he’ll be moving very soon.

He did go up the centiles massively. I had him weighed at 2 months old then not again until 5 months as we had to stop breastfeeding due to lip tie and he went onto formula. And between that time he went from the 6th to the 91st and has stayed at 91st for 2 months now.
He was born on the 6th centipede but lost weight due to our feeding issues so I spent weeks ramming my nipple in him as his weight loss was not good.
So I think that's why I ended up over feeding him. I was so concerned about him loosing weight I over compensated.

But we fixed it, and our routine is brilliant now.

I'm wondering if the hv is still concerned with me overfeeding but I've learnt so much and even his formula bottles are totally led by him.

I'm first timer and clueless and just don't want my son to have an issue with food!!! Me and his dad have always struggled with our relationship with food and weight/Health and I don't want the same for my boy.

Which weight centile was he born on?

In the last ten years there has been too much focus about weight and not enough about looking at the child in front of you. Regardless of weight I would say that a baby of 8 months is developmentally ready to be eating finger foods and pushing-gumming lumps and real food. Even with the move to weaning at 6 months (which by the way is controversial, it was set as a world guidance based including undeveloped countries whose babies have different needs, poor water and would be better on breast for longer) Baby led weaning has other issues. I would agree he should be on three meals a day, family foods, finger foods, a well balanced and varied home cooked food. As you decrease the bottles be sure ti have calcium rich foods, cheese, yoghurt. And as part of his diet he CAN have full cream cows milk although not as his main milk which should be breast or formula. I would expect a good size baby this age to have three meals and two bottles in 24 hrs. You mention his bottles are led by him, this is normal but will inhibit him moving on to real food. The best window is between 5 months and 8 months. Leave it much later and it will get difficult. You should aim to stop all bottles by one year to give to a range of time span. By 7 months I would expect him to be beginning to learn to sip from a cup. I see little wrong with what your health visitor is saying. Food is more important than bottles at this age.It is easier to over feed with formula than with food. My concerns for this baby would be more around development and food rather than weight

Sorry I just grabbed his red book. He was born on the 9th centile, at 6 weeks he had gone up to the 25th, then he wasn't weighed until 5months and he was 91st and has stayed there the last 2 months.
His head went from 25th percentile at 2 weeks old to the 91st at 5 months. He is 75th percentile for height taken at 5 months.

If he’s on the 75th for height and the 91st for weight he’s out of proportion but not massively and this may change when he starts moving more. Is he trying to crawl yet?

From what you’ve said, I can still see no reason to worry.

Ignore your HV and I'd consider dropping a message to her office about food being more important at 7 months - that's bollocks.

My second one didn't start eating much until about 8/9 months and now there's no stopping him.

I don't think it's possible (NB. I have no medical training! ) to over feed a baby. I was concerned with my first about him not drinking the right amount of formula and if he drank too much, he would throw it back up again!

At 7 months I just gave my DC some finger food if they were awake long enough and/or I was sitting down to food myself.

Your DS is also at that age where he will be a bit podgy until he starts moving properly. They always slim down once crawling / cruising / walking.

Also, those charts are a range of what's normal. So he might be on the top end of what's normal, but he's still within the 'normal' range.

He isn't crawling but he has started to lift his bum off the ground when he is on his back so I imagine he will start shuffling. Literally today was the first day he has ever rolled over. However he sits up fine by himself and he can stand up if he holds onto something.

Today I have tried to give it a go, he is on track to have 4 bottles and 3 solid meals, I mean there is no harm in trying out hv advice. I will give it a go for a couple weeks and if he wakes up for night feeds regularly, I will go back to 5 bottles for a bit, until his eating has improved. He has cried today for his bottles as he is obviously hungry, but this will "encourage him to eat/learn how to eat food faster".

I suppose I posted as I thought we had things right and to be told by hv that we haven't is a bit of a blow. But your replies have made me feel much better in terms of if this doesn't work, I won't feel bad going back to what did work.

Please don’t let him cry for his bottles OP, he’s still so tiny!

Oh please rest assured I won't let him get hysterical. It's been brief crying whilst I make up his bottle is all. If he is crying because he is hungry im giving him a bottle simple, feck the guidelines or advice. I seriously don't know how anyone one manages to do that cry it out stuff, they must be strong people I tell ya that. I get physically upset if I hear someone else's baby cry let alone my own precious babe!

Me too Kitty. I work with someone who will quite happily tell you that she put her babies as newborns in their own room, shut the door, and didn’t go back in until morning. First time she said it my face must have been a picture!

I just can't handle it. I understand a lot of people use it as a last resort as nothing else worked. My sister has used the technique for all 3 of her boys.
I tried once to let him cio at nap time as he had gone past tired. He had a breakdown, I had a breakdown. I've never felt so much guilt. It didn't work, I spent 2 days crying over what I did to him, and I will never, for as long as I live, do that to him ever again. I basically neglected him, there is no other way to look at it. He needed me and I ignored him. Worst day of my parenting life (so far!) and my biggest fuck up.

So, to recap the info from your posts, your DS is on 91 centile for both height and weight. He has a tall father.

But he was born small and rapidly moved up the centiles in length, weight and head circumference and has now stabilised on 91st Centile.

That doesn’t sound like overfeeding, it sounds like a baby showing “catch up growth” ie they might have been born smaller than their genetic potential due to (for example, placenta not working as well as it should), and then the lip tie affecting feeding too.

While crossing centile lines is a bit of a red flag for weight gain (or loss), I don’t think that applies here when your DC is matching that with an increase in length and head circumference- and it doesn’t sound like the HV is taking all of the information into account.
I think you need to nod politely at the HV and then continue feeding your child enough to keep him happy and healthy.

It sounds like you're on track to me. My DC was born on the 9th centile and is now up to the 50th. She loves her food now and is eating anything we give her. At 10 months she is now up to 3 meals per day plus one snack. She still has 3 or 4 small bottles though as she's hungry through the night. Milk feeds certainly didn't drop til around 8 months though!

Many of my friends have had outdated or dangerous advice from HV as mentioned above. Trust your gut. Your baby will only eat what he wants. I would say Try not to equate food with sleep as it's often not the case! 6 month growth spurt and sleep regressions around 8 months throw it all out!

If you're on fb there are lots of helpful blw groups that offer support and guidance (I found them invaluable!)

Oh and I totally get the reluctance to cio. I won't leave dc to cry as like you said she is crying because she needs something even if it is just a cuddle. Never thought I'd be so soft!

Never thought I'd be so soft! me neither but it defintely pays back

Lettice I think that this sounds like catch up growth too, especially given the lip tie which in all probability had tt too.

I did BLW. I found the Gill Rapley book reassuring, because it isn't what people are used to. But it is normal for them not to eat a lot at the start and take a few months to get into eating food.

Guys this really is reassuring, thank you. I know my baby is big, but I do honestly think he was meant to be big.
I'm pretty sure at the beginning he starved. My milk took a week to come in after serious pumping and the poor mite latched on correctly once the whole time where he guzzled for an hour and 40 minutes then vomited it all back up as soon as he latched off.
We have done the 3 meals and 4 bottles today. It has gone well. It has totally messed up his sync though and he has skipped his afternoon nap so if going to bed a bit earlier. But I'm sure after a week or so of this we will hopefully have things sorted.
I have no qualms with reverting back to original plan if need be. Thanks for confidence boost, i feel strong again about this blw jazz! :)

I got pre eclampsia, well the actual eclampsia by where you almost die after emergency c sec. so the bit about the placenta, I don't know, maybe it's all related. Pregnancy was hard. I also had hypermesis. So no wonder babe was small!

God sounds like your PG was awful. No wonder he’s been playing catch up.

Just wondering if you’ve ever had him checked for tongue tie? Don’t know if you know but it’s extremely unusual for lip tie to be present without tongue tie.