Breastfed 8.5 month old and night waking

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My baby is 8.5 months old. She breastfeeds and never took to a bottle. I’ve tried occasionally to give formula in a cup during the day but not terribly successfully.

I’d like to ideally wean her off night feeds but not sure how. She has always breastfed to sleep (my fault but I didn’t see any other way especially when trying to establish breastfeeding). Recently she has been in a lot of discomfort with teething (no teeth yet) and on/off colds.

I may have to try controlled crying but I’m not overly keen on this. Last night I attempted poorly to see if she would self settle with a sort of controlled crying but more at 2 min intervals and she got very distressed, quite shaky so I abandoned.
She seems to get wind at night eg might fall asleep deeply after a breastfeed but Wakes within an hour for burping. Last night I gave her some ibuprofen but she woke with terrible wind at around 1:40 am. In general she doesn’t wake with increased frequency unless she isn’t feeling well as she is not a baby who complains too much. Weirdly, she seemed to sleep better on days she didn’t eat so well. Not that she is a huge eater anyway. This week she had a few better nights, going from 1 to around 8 am but maybe that was more because of a growth spurt perhaps? I go back to work in 2 months’ time. I had hoped she would just do it herself... apparently there are some babies that just start sleeping through themselves!

Advice appreciated.

I think she is getting wound up when she does cry (when she has just had a feed, for example and isn’t settling for some reason; I think it’s teeth). And she just won’t stop crying. She wants to comfort feed. Maybe I’m trying to figure this out at the wrong time. She has felt warm, though no fever, unless it’s a low grade thing and a messy nappy the other night, so she could be fighting some bug, or is teething. I just can’t shake the feeling that if I hadn’t breastfed then at least I wouldn’t have comfort feeding to worry about as well as her lack of settling. And I can’t get back to sleep when she is screaming in her cot. I just don’t know when to time this controlled crying. I hate to have to do it but anything I do will sadly involve her getting upset and me in turn getting upset

Feeding for comfort is just as important as feeding for hunger.
If she is in pain with teeth then she will feeding more for this too as it acts as pain relief. Babies often feed more if they are getting unwell in order to try and fight it off, your milk will change for this too to provide the right anti bodies.

It is really hard when they want to feed loads.

I found the more I tried to get them to come off and go to sleep, the worse they actually slept. It was as if they knew they been taken off too soon so woke up sooner.

Would she go back to cluster type feeding in the evening? So if you just held her and let her feed all evening, she might sleep better.

If you’ve just had enough though and want to night wean, I would do it gradually. Dr Jay Gordon seems the gentlest. I wouldn’t do night weaning and controlled crying at the same time.

If you are looking to night wean/sleep train, I’m not sure it’s going to be the magic answer to you getting more sleep, unless your DH can do all the settling etc and then you would be able to get a full nights sleep.

Could you take the side off her cot so you don’t have to get up? Often it’s the sitting/getting up, lifting them out of the cot/putting back in, hoping and waiting to see if they settle, etc that makes you exhausted. The breastfeeding itself (esp if you can lie down) can often help with sleep as it releases hormones to get you back to sleep. Obviously if you have to get up to put baby back in a cot it won’t work as well as if you could go straight to sleep during/after a feed.

OP, you just sound exhausted! There is no way on the planet to know if she's sleeping as she does because you BF but in all likelihood, it's just because she's a baby.

I don't think this is the right moment for you to tackle this. Have you got a little bit more help around now it's Christmas? I hope you can catch up on resting a little while others are off work.

Maybe think about tackling this again in the New Year if she hasn't come out of it a little by then?

RockinRobinTweets great advice. Maybe stop thinking about it completely until new year, just do whatever it takes from now until then so you get the most sleep.

Sometimes deciding to stop trying to make a decision for the time being can take the stress off and mean you end up more rested.

It’s hard as everyone gives you such different advice when it comes to sleep and what worked for them and their babies obviously won’t work for everyone.

I think some are just good sleepers and some aren’t. I nightweaned my first as I thought it would help her sleep and it didn’t. My second was breastfed and slept through really early, my third was more up and down, good and bad phases and I just rode it out but I do know the feeling of thinking you’ve got to do something to change it.

Hopefully if you give it until new year to decide, she may be coming out this difficult phase.

We did controlled crying - it gets really bad press but for us it was less distressing than us faffing around DS.

Before I would feed then stand to put him in his cot and he’s cry and cry I’d rock cuddle sush the works and only another feed would work. After CC he’ll settle himself or if his teeth hurt we pat his back and he’ll go off.

First night he cried for an hour then went off (we went in at intervals). After night two he was so much better. He’s not sleeping through (11months) I could prob push and do a bit more CC but it’s working for us atm.

Thanks so much, everyone. I also think this is the wrong time. And when I think back to before solids, I was much happier, probably because I knew I had to feed her and that was that. Of course I had my moments but I was coping. I even had more energy. I think we all have some sort of a bug at the moment; I have a sore throat, DC1 was sneezing this evening and little one is most definitely teething and suffering. Plus red cheeks, tiny sniffles and several dirty nappies this evening. So it’s not her fault; I’ve just been winding myself up out of sheer exhaustion. And I feel terrible about it; she’s only a baby. I will try to chill out a little. I just feel that I might have been wrong to have responded to her by breastfeeding in the earlier months, but I thought that was how breastfeeding is supposed to work. I never understood how you go from “you can’t spoil them by demand/responsive feeding” early on to “they don’t need night feeds/milk during the day”.

My instinct at this time is that, like littletwofeet mentioned, weaning/training mightn’t be the miracle cure. Maybe I should be flattered that nobody else gives her comfort in the same way that I currently can?!

Littletwofeet, you’re right about the constantly getting up, placing in the cot and having to pick up again. Unfortunately story we don’t have room for her cot in our room and she has outgrown the crib we had in our room. But I’m hoping she will feel better soon. I would love for her to just settle down herself. I don’t mind feeding to sleep so much if she sleeps a bit longer at night.

With my DC1 I used to think once she learns to settle herself, she would sleep great. I spent months overthinking her sleep and did sleep training, etc. I nightweaned and got her to self settle. There was always something though, she’d get sick or teeth or out of routine back from holiday, etc.
I look back now and wish I had just fed her. All the thinking ‘is she sick/in pain or ‘just’ crying?’ was more stressful than just feeding (for me anyway-everyone is different).
I also don’t think I slept that great as I never knew if she would wake up and I’d have to get up out of bed.

With my next two I co-slept from birth and just fed whenever they woke. I slept really well (even if they didn’t!). The not having to think about it was a big thing for me, just to feed-not having to think ‘why have they woke again/they can’t be hungry,etc’.
Knowing once I was in bed I would’t have to get up made a big difference to me.

I know not everyone sleeps well co-sleeping though so it’s about finding something that works for you.

I just feel that I might have been wrong to have responded to her by breastfeeding in the earlier months, but I thought that was how breastfeeding is supposed to work. I never understood how you go from “you can’t spoil them by demand/responsive feeding” early on to “they don’t need night feeds/milk during the day”.

You haven’t been wrong at all, you’ve done exactly the right thing to meet her needs. Babies are born with an expectation that their needs will be met and not doing this can be damaging to them.
I understand what you mean though, there seems to be a point where it is expected that they ‘should’ be sleeping through, feeding less, etc.
I think when they tell you they want to feed, it’s because they need it. An adult doesn’t ‘need’ water in the night but if you wake up thirsty you would probably have a drink, not make yourself wait until morning because your body doesn’t actually ‘need’ a drink and could wait.

Milk during the day is something that they ‘need’ for a long time, in terms of providing nutrition and comfort. As they get older you could say the same for cuddles, in that they will survive but it’s stll a need most children have.

Maybe I should be flattered in that nobody else gives her comfort in the same way that I currently can of course! Breastfeeding is such a special relationship and you should be proud that you are feeding her.
Also, you’ve always got a magic cure for most things!

It sounds like you’re doing really well, I hope you manage to get some sleep soon

Thanks. Definitely teething but guess we will just have to ride it out. Some better nights than others. I hope she eventually does stop feeding, though. I don’t want to still be feeding a big toddler!

Funnily enough, I used to lament that I wasn’t able to offer comfort feeds to my DC- due to not being able to bf for as long... and now look at me complaining! Guess lack of sleep is just such a killer!

Aargh! Well...she is still driving us nuts. More teeth on the way but surely this can’t go on and on until she gets all her teeth?! She also seems to be going through some super excitable phase where she is wide awake and bouncing until very very late at night. The bf on top of all of that is wearing me out. She’ll fall asleep at the breast but keeps waking if we put her in her cot. She won’t eat much during the day and seems to be surviving on air. Will going to nursery make it any better or will she drive me completely crazy wanting to feed all night? Why on earth did I persevere with breastfeeding is all I keep asking myself?

Oh no, sorry to hear that.

I think they all go through phases with wanting to feed lots.
Mine all had times they barely ate and others times they ate loads. They good thing with b/f is that you don’t have to worry if they don’t eat much. (She should still be getting most of her calories from breast milk anyway). Same when sick, you don’t have to worry they will get dehydrated or be in pain. It’s an instant tantrum stopper too!
Like with anything, there are also some downsides.

Some babies ‘reverse cycle’ when you go back to work so they do feed lots at night. Others just become more efficient so will take more in the morning and evening or will make up for it on your days off. Some formula fed babies wake up lots at night when mums go back to work.

The cot thing-lots don’t transfer easily. I’m not sure if you are ending up with the worst of both worlds with the cot though. Lots of b/f mums get more sleep because they co-sleep so baby feeds and falls back to sleep easily, no settling/transferring needed. Hormones help you to fall back to sleep. By having to get up and try and get your DD in the cot, I would guess you’ll just end up exhausted. Lots of babies sleep better next to you as they have the security of you being there so may stir and fall back asleep as they know you are next to them.

You DD being wide awake and bouncing at night. Often this is a sign of being overtired-is she having enough sleep in the day? Going to bed early enough?

Do you go to any b/f groups? Often it can help just to speak to other mums and find out what’s ‘normal’ and how other people coped with similar. The groups on f/b are good for that too (breastfeeding younger babies and beyond is good and there are probably local ones to you too). If you did decide you wanted to wean, you would also get some good tips.

I think it’s hard because you get told ‘once you get past the newborn stage it’s really easy’ and no one prepares you for other difficulties. Some things with feeding are easier as they get older and some things are harder.

She may be reverse cycling;the health visitor said it was very rare but they also told me at 7 months she doesn’t need milk during the day and she shouldn’t wake up at night for milk. So I don’t even bother asking them for advice!

She isn’t dehydrated, thankfully and I don’t want bf to be the default answer to everything. But she has got swollen gums. 2 teeth down and only another 18 to go. That could be 2 years!

My older child, now 4, had only formula from 3 months and was also a rubbish sleeper and maybe he was also reverse cycling in hindsight. Still is and wakes every night; either ends up with DH sleeping next to him or sleeps in my bed and kicks DH out. He is also a poor eater. When he was around the same stage, I’d have rows of plates and bowls of rejected food in the kitchen each day.

I really don’t like co sleeping, though. I did leave DD in bed with me to bf but I find it very uncomfortable and I can’t sleep, plus I really want to stop her feeding so much at night. I am really resenting it. And I feel awful about it because I end up getting angry at a baby. Plus, with the issues we’ve had with DS sleep, I don’t want another child always getting into bed with us/me.

DD doesn’t nap much at home but will go next door to grandparents and sleep for 2-3 hours. Today she had a good mid day nap until around 14:15. This evening I really tried to get things sorted in time for her and so she ate at 18:15, had a bath and was sleepy and didn’t even want me to read to her. I did bf her to sleep but she slept by 19:20. Then woke every hour (and bf) and wouldn’t settle from 21:45 and she is currently in DH’s lap with a silicone teething brush. Admittedly, I haven’t always enforced a great bedtime routine because she never ever wanted to settle early in the evening. But I’m trying harder now. It’s just so difficult when I’m just getting by hour by hour.

The worst part is that I feel like I am too tired and grumpy all the time, unable to do anything with DS, or DD. I’m too tired and demotivated to go out for walks with her. And I can’t just switch off the bf.

I just wish there was an easier way. Just seems I’ve got to either keep going and resent it or force her to stop and self settle to sleep.

I’m not on any bf Facebook groups and I don’t attend bf groups. I don’t know of any. There is a bf support worker at the children’s centre where DD gets weighed; not part of the HV service but I don’t know how helpful they’ll be.

I really appreciate the hand holding. This wouldn’t be such an issue if I didn’t have to go back to work in 2 months. I’m so fed up with bf her now and I’m really resentful of anyone who has an easier time with this. One of my colleagues has a baby one week younger than my DD and is asleep by 18:30! Not fair!

I typed too quickly! What I meant to say is that the other night I did keep her in bed for an hour or so at a time so I could lie down to feed her; she just kept feeding! But I never mastered feeding lying down and can never get comfortable. I also worry about accidentally rolling in her or putting the duvet over her as I feel cold during the night.

I really feel for you, it’s just awful when you feel so exhausted.

This is quite good at explaining milk v solids in the day.
kellymom.com/nutrition/starting-solids/solids-how/

Yes, the teeth could go on for a long time but that’s going to happen whether or not she’s breastfed. Then you would still be up in the night having to give her calpol/resettle,etc.
At least the b/milk is a painkiller for her teeth.

The same with her sleep, I would guess she’s going to either sleep good or she isn’t regardless of whether she’s breastfed (same as your DS).

You could look up b/feeding groups in your area, sometimes it’s just nice to talk with others who are going through similar. Or f/b group can be good to just read about others who’ve been through the same when you get a bit fed up.

It does sound like she’s getting enough sleep in the day. My DC3 used to do the same, waking every hour from when I put him down at 7ish until about 11. I used to go to bed with him and read or make sure I was really fast getting to him as if I could feed him back to sleep he was fine. If I left it too long, he was wide awake and was harder to settle. He did gradually start going longer between wake ups. It was sort of like late cluster feeding.
It sounds like that’s what your DD is doing if she’s going from 1-8. It usually is very gradual, so a few good nights one week, getting gradually more with bad phases in between.

In general she doesn’t wake with increased frequency unless she isn’t feeling well as she is not a baby who complains too much
This is why I would just feed her (as hard as it is), it won’t be forever and it sounds as though it’s what she needs.

Weirdly, she seemed to sleep better on days she didn’t eat so well. Is this because she’s having more b/milk on the days she’s not eating as much? You could try b/feeding her more in the day.

It sounds like maybe part of the stress is going round in circles looking for answers. I don’t think there is a magic cure. The same with your DS, I’m assuming you tried various things over the years to get him to sleep.
You say you don’t want your DD in your bed like DS, you may have several years (like with DS sleep) of going in and out. Would it be easier to work on your DS sleep than your DD sleep? Or at least get DS staying in his own room.

I don’t want bf to be the default answer to everything. you’re missing a trick thereif you’re going to breastfeed you may as well get the benefits! When DH has the DC, I always think he has it much harder as any problem to anything, I can just sit and feed where as he has to settle/walk round with them/distract/get a drink etc. I find the not having to ‘think’ about what’s wrong/what to do,etc great. I know it’s not for everyone but I wish someone had said same to me with DC1. I used to try everything else and then b/feed as last resort, just made it so much harder for myself.

Just seems I’ve got to either keep going and resent it or force her to stop and self settle to sleep.
I think you are sort of spot on there unfortunately. If you did decide to sleep train her, I would wait until you are back in work as I would guess her sleep will probably change when you go back to work. I would maybe try and sort your DS sleep too first as this may mean you are better able to cope with DD sleep.
Feeling resentful may change too, maybe reading about all the benefits and positives could help for now and then once you’re back at work if you did want to stop you can try and work out the best way for you.

The feeding lying down - have you got her low enough down? Look up positions so you can see, if you’re in the correct position you can’t roll on her. Also look up safe co-sleeping guidelines. I did a lot of reading and research before deciding to co-sleep. Everyone needs to make their own decision on it though.
I think the co-sleeping tends to work best as a long term thing rather than the odd night (although it can be great for that too) as she should get used to you being there and hopefully wake up less/settle more easily and you learn to sleep better. I’m not sure if you’re lying there thinking she should be in her cot/you can’t sleep with her next to you it’s going to work that great for you as you’re just going to end up stressed out and having a rubbish sleep. It only really worked for me when I completely relaxed about it all. If you don’t like it though that’s fine too, you’ve got to decide what works best for you and you might get a better sleep with her in the cot even if it does mean going in/out, everyone is different in what works for them.

You’re spot on with describing it as late cluster feeding, as that’s exactly how I have felt. Middle of the night cluster feeding!
It’s so kind of you to have read through my previous posts to pick up on some of the points, and very patient of you! I’m lacking in patience right now and have completely fallen out of love/even liking breastfeeding now! If I had another, I don’t think I’d bother breastfeeding again. With my son, I used to lament “...if only I could breastfeed, maybe he’d find some comfort”, but my daughter is driving me crazy so I’m not so sure about that one now!

I’ll have a look for local support or Facebook groups; maybe it’ll help make me feel less stressed about it all.

Waiting until after I return to work might be sensible as she may well become more unsettled if I get her in a good sleeping pattern now and then it fails. She will be almost 1 so possibly a better time to try it as well.

With DS, his waking doesn’t bother us like it used to, because he just climbs in quietly now. One major barrier to co sleeping apart from my being very uncomfortable about it would be that DH would either have to cosleep with DS (as DS room is the spare room) or go on the sofa; I don’t think 3 of us will fit. But if I get desperate then maybe I’ll have to. I can just see it going down a slippery slope though. Initially, the interrupted sleep thanks to DS made the sleep deprivation with a baby much easier as we were already conditioned to interrupted sleep and had almost 4 years of poor sleep. So DS did us a favour in that sense! I think I was better able to cope with frequent waking early on as I knew that was how I’d establish breastfeeding and that breastmilk digests much faster.

One thing, though, as I angrily overthink this day and night...DD’s mood isn’t so bad during the day, so I don’t know is she just having her cake and eating it by fussing so much at night? This phase seems to have gone on for a month now. I’ve tried offering her more milk during the day but she either is distracted or not interested/full. She may be full from solids but really doesn’t eat much at all. And not a variety, either. The health visitor scared me about anaemia if I just give her milk. Having said that, the 5 hour stretch she does without breastmilk (roughly 10-3 during the day) I feel will help make life at nursery when she starts there a bit easier for us both as she’ll be used to not having so much milk during the day. Gives me a break at least. Of course, she may well wreak her revenge at night!

The Kelly mom site is very useful and really helped me out early on, especially with understanding cluster feeding (she did a LOT of that). It seems very much biased towards continued breastfeeding though with respect to introducing solids? The way I’m feeling now, if I could stop breastfeeding her as of this second, I would. I just kept up with bf as I thought things would get better eventually with solids. But I’ve often wondered if I take a step back with solids, would it be so bad, especially as she seems to be eating more like a 6-7 month old than a now 9 month old.

I still can’t thank you enough for the advice!
When did you stop bf your little ones and was it a rough transition?

Update: So over the last few days she has been waking at night, but roughly every 3 hours rather than hourly. She still does the sleeping for an hour thing and waking to burp when she goes to sleep after her bath. Or she will sometimes get herself in an awkward position in her cot during the night. She breastfeeds to sleep, which is my “fault”, but always how she has done it.
Still not eating that well and weee waiting on some upper teeth. So we may just ride it out a little longer before attempting to wean off night feeds or try controlled crying- ideally I’d like to avoid that!

Missed your other post, just saw your update from today. Hopefully you’re coming out of that really bad phase and it’s slowly getting better.

I think you’re in the hardest stage in a way - up until 6 Months you expect to have to feed all the time, them not to sleep very well. I don’t think anyone prepares you that you’ll still be feeding lots after 6 months.

If she’s regularly going 5 hours in the day without milk then I guess she could be making up for this at night. Or she could still wake up lots at night regardless! I understand you feeling better about going back to work if she’s not feeding as much in the day though. Although they do adapt when they’re not with you.

I know what you mean about your DS coming in not bothering you and if it’s not a problem it’s pointless trying to change it!
Don’t think of your DD sleep as ‘going down a slippery slope’ think of it as doing what you need to do NOW to get some sleep. You can change it at any time in the future if it becomes a problem to you. If you manage to get more sleep with DH sleeping elsewhere then that may be a short term solution, it won’t be forever.

Re:anaemia, again kelkymon if you’ve not already read it but may help you worry less!
kellymom.com/nutrition/vitamins/iron/

I’m not sure if KM aid biased as such in terms of solids but I do know what you mean as it seems to be quite different to what we assume/are told. Maybe it’s more realistic in terms of what lots of babies would do naturally. It’s hard as we’re made to feel (often by HCPs) that the aim is to try and get them to have lots of food and less milk! It helped me to relax in terms of what they ate so I didn’t worry if they slept through lunch and missed it or we were out and I wasn’t able to give a proper lunch/dinner and also in terms of what they ate at meals as I was happy that they were getting nutrition they needed from breastmilk.
FWIW my DC2 & 3 were really good eaters and they still fed lots and I don’t think it made any difference to their sleep.
There’s just really anything you can do about her eating so there’s little point stressing over it (as hard as it is sometimes).

With mine-I stopped feeding DC1 at about 14 Months (looking back it was a nursing strike but I didn’t know). I had gone back to work and I did cut the feeds right down as I thought it would be easier but wish I hadn’t. Comparing her to DC2, the toddler years were actually harder as B/F can be such a useful tool to help in most situations, especially all the sickness bugs they get.
I do wish I had done things differently but you do what you think is best at the time, don’t you.

DC2 (age 4) is still breastfed. He has always been an amazing sleeper though (sorry!)

DC3 is nearly two and b/fed. He did what your DD does, waking every hour and then sleeping well from 11/12 till morning but did have bad phases. He gradually cut the hour wakes ups and just woke at 11/12 ish then slept.

I’ve had lots of phases where it drives me completely mad though! With DC2&3 I didn’t have to go back to work and probably would have felt differently if I had.

Every breastfeeding relationship is different and if you do want to wean, there is nothing wrong with that. It’s fantastic to have done as long as you have, it’s not easy with another DC and not getting sleep.
kellymom.com/ages/weaning/wean-how/weaning-techniques/

Don’t feel it’s your ‘fault’ for feeding to sleep. Again it’s one of the benefits of breastfeeding that you have an easy way to get them to sleep. Both DC2&3 have gone through phases of not feeding to sleep and it’s a nightmare-all that messing about instead of just feeding straight to sleep!

She’s a little rascal, that’s for sure! But I’ll only stress myself out by fighting her. It’s fairly obvious that she’ll do what she needs to so for now it’s probably better to just go with the flow.

You’re right; we do what we do at the time to get some sleep. That’s what we did with our DS as we both had a lot of work related pressure so just had to sleep and didn’t care how! I just kept going in the hope he’d “get it” himself. We’re still waiting but it’s so much better than before and it’s acceptable to us at the moment.

I’m curious to see actually how the breastfeeding helps her when she starts nursery. Maybe she’ll avoid some of the sickness or handle breastmilk better than DS did when he had a tummy bug during his first week at nursery.

I think I there may be an element of reverse cycling here as during the day she doesn’t feed so much. She gets distracted or just latches but smiles and doesn’t feed. I’m sure she will adapt to nursery; I feel that some of her daytime feeds are a bit out of boredom or just for fun for her. Sort of like a baby’s version of a cup of tea!

Well another night of teething hell and no sleep for me and little sleep for DH. Really hoping she gets some more teeth quickly! Ended up bed sharing and feeding lying down for a very long time ... makes for a very tired and achy mother! She just wants to feed endlessly!

Oh no, sorry you had another bad night.

Are you able to ‘sneak away’ when you’re lying down with her? You might have to pay attention to the sucking so you can time it right!

Have you got a bed guard?
Can you try just keeping her in the bed all night, that way you can say to yourself at least you don’t have to get up out of bed until morning.
I may be totally wrong but I get a feeling (with mine anyway) that once they know they are right by you and not going to be moved away (into a cot) then they don’t feed as much/come off easier as they know you will be right there next to them.
Maybe get DH to sleep elsewhere just for a couple of weeks so you are more comfortable and can get as much rest as you can then have another think about it all.
Can DH get up every morning to at least give you an hour or two, longer at the weekend. Find little things that can help.

I feel that some of her daytime feeds are a bit out of boredom or just for fun for her. Sort of like a baby’s version of a cup of tea!
This made me laugh-so true!

Thanks. It just makes it easier being able to rant and know someone’s been through it.

I think I dozed off (with my arm in a very bad position) while feeding her. I had a dead arm by the time I noticed. I know what you mean about sneaking myself away at the right time... she has perfected her latch to not let go if she’s not ready!

DH, bless him, sort of does musical beds, sleeping wherever he can/if DS needs him he’ll sleep there. And I don’t wake up when he is getting ready for work. DS does but has been learning to manage without me. Won’t work when he returns to school, however as we need both of us to get him sorted in the morning. I’ve got about 8 weeks until I return to work! I’m really hoping this is just a very difficult time that will pass. I’ve had to get more of the MultiMam compresses since I’ve been getting a bit sore on one side.

I think we’re doing what we can in terms of getting whatever rest we can. The house looks permanently messy and I never get through a household take from a start to finish (eg clothes piling up in the kitchen, washed but not folded, not ironed etc, not putting things away). We have no energy so have to conserve what little we have to get through each day! And tea for me!

At least you managed to doze off feeding anyway-every little bit of sleep counts! You might manage to find more comfortable positions and find that it works. Or, you might try it and decide you really hate it and just can’t sleep-at least you’ll have tried though before deciding what to do next.

Have you got a good mattress? I found a new, good quality mattress made a massive difference.

I think you’re right about it just being a bad phase that will pass. If you had a date when it would end it would be so much easier, wouldn’t it! It’s the not knowing how long it will go on for that’s a killer.

Sounds like you’re managing really well though and prioritising rest over house stuff. I know exactly what you mean about not finishing a task-it puts you off starting as you often end up with things in a worse state than if you hadn’t have started-washing everywhere all half put away instead of just in a big pile!

If it’s any consolation, I just feel like I’m coming out of the really hard bit, my DC3 will play for ages now and I can have a shower,get ready etc and start and finish jobs. Before it would take forever with constant interruptions! It feels like you’ll never get there though.

Are you back at work full time?

I go back 4 days, so close enough to full time. The mattress we have is good, nice and firm. I just don’t know how to tell at what point is she crying because she needs me or crying because she’s just prefer to feed but doesn’t need it. Right now she’s not been so well from teething but who knows when she might be feeling ok? It’s so hard; I actually thought a breastfed baby would be better.

But she did let us sleep from 1-5am last night, so I’ll take that as a good night!

Hopefully her sleep will get longer and more regular long stretches at night.

Comfort feeding is just as important as feeding because she’s hungry so I wouldn’t worry about trying to work out why she wants feeding, just feed her. I found that easier in a way that I didn’t have to try and work anything out or think too much about it, just feed.

Fingers crossed for a good night tonight!

themilkmeg.com/an-argument-for-the-comfort-breastfeed/