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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

Cheesecake for a 4 month old

27 replies

babyonboard · 17/04/2007 17:38

This isn't a joke, really.
My MIL has an annoying habit of bringing round cake/chocolate sweets etc for DS (16 months)whenever she visits.
I've learnt to tolerate it and just limit what she gives him (she was once trying to feed him two slices of m&s chocolate cake at once!)
She visited us over the bank holiday and I was making coffee and came back to find her feeding my 4 m.o DD lemon cheescake. I was suitably peed off but she acted like she'd done nothing wrong.
Now DD is really sicky and I can't help wonder if this has caused any damage?

OP posts:

LoveMyGirls · 17/04/2007 17:40

My dad gave dd2 tea when she was 8 weeks old.

I wouldn't think it would cause perm damage and short term damage would be over by now, could just be coincidence?

beansprout · 17/04/2007 17:41

This really isn't something a 16w old baby should be eating. I would do a bit more than tolerate it and just not allow it. You can do this, you are his mum, she is not. You are now having to ask a genuine question as to whether this has harmed him. Surely at that point you can ask her not to do something.

Sorry to sound so harsh but I am really hacked off with her!

Original poster

babyonboard · 17/04/2007 17:44

Beansprout I think you didn't quite read my post right. My DS is 16 months, so it's aceptable for him to have occasional treats like this.
My DD is 4 months and is the one who was fed cheesecake.
lovemygirls tea at 8 weeks! what was he thinking!?

OP posts:

lulumama · 17/04/2007 17:49

16 w old baby should be having milk, nothing else....weaning is recommended to start at 26 weeeks. and then on nutritious 'real' food, not cake...

i would really press home to her that feeding your 16 week old anything other than milk is simply not allowed, you are her mother and that is your final word

beansprout · 17/04/2007 17:51

Oh lordy - I thought you said 16 weeks (why on earth did I think that?!!)

I'm really, really sorry to wade in there.
Would still say it is up to you though. Ds is 2.5 but I still wouldn't let him have this stuff. There's plenty of time for all that, I don't think it is something he needs just yet!

MrsBadger · 17/04/2007 17:51

not on, not at 16wks
I'd have to have Words with MIL
either that or never leave dd alone with her

beansprout · 17/04/2007 17:51

Hang on - you referred to your 4mo dd, and that is what I was referring to!

MrsBadger · 17/04/2007 17:52

16wks / 4 months - not much in it really

Original poster

babyonboard · 17/04/2007 17:58

Fair enough , lol , it was the DD/DS confusion that made me think you'd misread.
Anyway I know it was a really bad thing to do, it ended in a blazing row between us all and her storming out. Thing is I know she won't listen and will try something similar again.
This is why we sadly can't trust her to babysit, even just for an hour (remembering the time she left DS in his cot without a nppy so his bum could 'get air' and we came home to find him asleep in pile of his own poo). grrrrr
Are you sure it can't have done any harm? Lemon is pretty acidic and for a baby who's just used to milk it must be hard for her body to deal with.

OP posts:

Original poster

babyonboard · 17/04/2007 17:59

(sorry i'm the one who's confused here, it's been a long day! lol)

OP posts:

MrsBadger · 17/04/2007 18:01

won't have done her any harm I shouldn't think - and to be fair even if it had there's not much you can do except make sure it doesn't happen again . Can well believe it made her sick for a few days though.

Original poster

babyonboard · 17/04/2007 18:04

DP thinks I am over reacting to still be peed off abut it but I can't help it.
With DS we weaned him so carefully, giving bits at a time and noting if he might react to something etc so for her to just wade in and give big chunks of frickin cheesecake to DD, when we don't plan to start weaning for another month at least, makes me so angry.

OP posts:

mears · 17/04/2007 18:05

I had the same problem with my MIL who scooped up a bit of cream and strawberry sauce to pop in 12 week old DS's mouth a few years ago. I just yelled 'don't you dare!' and she soon got the message. I was just really clear with her why I didn't want her to give him stuff like that at his age. I explained weaning to her and the problems early weaning can cause. She actually then didn't do it again although she tried tried with Easter egg.

beansprout · 17/04/2007 19:34

bob - pile of his own poo?! She's actually a bit mad I think. You really don't have to apologise for not going along with her child rearing methods!!

LoveMyGirls · 17/04/2007 20:02

BOB - I wouldn't have found out about the tea but he dripped it all down her bib so it was obvious! I wasn't with them at the time my dad had taken both girls round to my grandma's so dd2 could meet her and i could get a few things done.

My dad is such a tea belly and its been so long since we were little i dont think he meant to.

AitchTwoOh · 18/04/2007 00:00

what IS it with that generation being so desperate to give wee babies food? weird. my mum kept saying 'ooooh look, she's staaaarving' from about 8 weeks old. poor pup. it's probably quite rich for her wee tummy but in a way there are probably worse things. at least it's sugary and milky, like milk, iykwim?

Original poster

babyonboard · 18/04/2007 15:24

I have no idea. My mum constantly says 'get some baby rice in her', at the lightest cry, lol.

OP posts:

yummymummyeatsjelly · 18/04/2007 15:31

I wouldn't allow that. A 16wk old has a very premiture stomach and cheesecake is not good at all.

Original poster

babyonboard · 18/04/2007 15:55

It's not that I 'allowed it', more it just happened so now I want to know if it has caused dd's stomach upset, and how to control MIL so she thinks twice before pulling such a stunt again.

OP posts:

IcingOnTheCake · 18/04/2007 16:02

You gotta put these mil's in their place! They say the earliest to wean is 6 months now don't they although i would have thought 4mths would be the absolute earliest. Then i would only do a bit of veg and fruit, mine is 6mths now and she had chicken for the first time today.

MadamePlatypus · 18/04/2007 17:40

Both my mum and my MIL are obsessed with feeding DS cake - maybe it is something to do with reaching a certain age? "Must force feed sugar, must force feed sugar". Maybe its something to do with being deprived of sweets during rationing (they are in 60's and 70's).

I don't think you over reacted. I caught my MIL cramming chocolate muffin into DS's mouth and was shouting NO! NO! and he is 3 and we have quite a good relationship. (He might have mentioned something earlier in the day about liking muffins, and she couldn't resist the urge to go out and buy 4 and literally force feed him). I try to control these grandmotherly urges by discussing the latest information with them and trying to get them on board. With MIL I have to admit that I am helped in this by the fact that DH is more than willing to be rude to her if she doesn't toe the line (so much so that I often end up siding with her!).

I wouldn't have thought that this would have caused damage to your DD, but maybe you could make up a story about your HV being worried about it? Do you think that your DD would actually have eaten the cake and not dribbled it out?

redbeki · 18/04/2007 18:07

You must take control of this situation.If she takes offence ,let her deal with it,else it will escalate,and continue throughout their childhoods.They are your children you have the 'say',not her.

AitchTwoOh · 19/04/2007 00:52

i've just said to my mum 'look, dd loves you, she can't love you any more than she already does, not for all the cake in the world. but i will like you much less if you keep feeding her sweet things when she's just as happy with a bit of carrot.'
although that doesn't get you thorugh the next couple of months, though.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 19/04/2007 01:39

Apparently it is a Grandparent's right to feed their grandchildren Shit. Or Cake. Or Chocolate. Or Sweets.

If their Grandchildren do not get much Sweets. Chocolate. Cake. Shit. They have this in-built reflex to believe their granchild/ren is Deprived. Malnourished. Suffering. Etc.

redbeki · 19/04/2007 22:05

too true Veni.

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