Older Baby

[Sleepthief84]

Hi all,

Bit of a backstory here so I'll try to keep it as brief as I can!

DD had severe silent reflux as a baby. She was medicated for it, and from 16 weeks only ever dreamfed bottles. She would not drink milk awake, at all. It was a nightmare to be honest. We started weaning with purée at 5.5 months (on paediatricians advice) she wasn't interested until about 7.5 months which was actually when her reflux stopped and we stopped the medication. She was also on medication for an unrelated condition which could cause dangerously low blood sugar if she didn't feed or eat properly every four/six hours.

Weaning was a pain because the SR left her with an oversensitive gag reflex - this coupled with the fact that she HAD to eat well meant that as her interest in food grew a bit i stuck to what I knew she could/would eat with out being sick. She did well, but could only eat smooth blended purees for ages. I started buying her Ella's pouches and blending them and she would scoff them down. She pretty much refused all my lovingly made home cooked food.

Fast forward a few months and she's off all medication. She stopped having any milk at all (even cows) at 13 months, except a little on cereal. She's now 15.5 months and will now eat cereal at breakfast, a variety of finger foods (stuff like omelette, chopped fruit, cheese) She can easily pick up food and feed herself however she is still refusing to eat what I'd call proper 'meals' at lunch and dinner. If I give her for example, some pasta in a sauce, or some shepherds pie it just goes untouched completely. So I've been continuing to give a variety of the pouches (still blended - she can chew fine but it's like once she knows it's purée she just swallows it straight down). I do not want her to keep having pouches and purée all the time but I'm at a loss as to how to get her to eat meals. Plus, it seems the only way to get any veg in her - I tried giving her some cod, sweet potato wedges and peas yesterday and she didn't eat a thing! She also won't eat meals (even the pouches) if she's distracted, I literally have to sit us on our own in the dining room and spoon feed her. If OH or anyone comes in or disturbs us she stops eating and that's it for the mealtime then. She'll snack fine anywhere (snacks are healthy not junk but even so). Means I have to be home, or somewhere quiet to feed her 3x a day. Not great if you want to go out for the day or something. She wouldn't sit and eat her dinner is a restaurant for example, but she'd happily eat bits off my plate.

I should say she's a perfectly healthy weight and always has been. She's followed the 75th centile since birth. Her development is normal, she's happy and content and she's meeting all milestones.

Any ideas? It's not ideal her having pre-made food all the time and it's also costing me a bomb as she has a pouch and a half at each meal. She's only 15.5 months so I want to break any habits of this before she's old enough to start getting too set in her ways!

Does she still have the blood sugar issue if she doesn't eat well every 4/6 hours?

No, she's off all medication now so she's fine, just like any other child with no health issues.

Ok, so I would perhaps just offer her the food you want her to eat, homemade family food not pureed. Preferably eat the the same thing at the same time. Then just leave her to it, and try not worry how much she's actually eating. She'll eventually work out that if she's hungry she needs to eat, and not play around. If she doesn't eat much one meal she'll probably eat more at the next.

I've been thinking this too. I think it's just very hard to get out of the mindset of 'she must eat' when that's all I've known since she was tiny. I even used to have to set an alarm when she was sleeping through twice a night to dreamfeed at least 3oz of milk at a time (that she wouldn't otherwise have woken for or wanted) and to put her medicine in it. Probably just a change of attitude from me rather than a problem with her! I suppose she'll only mess around if I let her.

but she'd happily eat bits off my plate.

And

Probably just a change of attitude from me rather than a problem with her! I suppose she'll only mess around if I let her.

You know what to do.

My DD is around the same age..she also had SR and is a chronic food refuser. Up until recently, I could not get her to eat veg or 'proper' meals. She lived off of fruit and rice cakes. One thing I found that worked for her was to have options. Id offer her whatever her dinner was and if she didn't eat it, she'd get toast and nothing else. Eventually she seemed to figure out that toast was all she got and started to try different things and is now eating proper food. I think you just have to stick to your guns and not give in with puree.

As a side note, I think she possibly needs a bit more milk in her diet. Do you offer her a drink of milk with her meals or at bedtime? Just a bit on cereal seems a small amount for a child that age. But I'm no expert on how much milk they need so feel free to ignore.

It must be very difficult to alter your mindset about food and eating when you've had such a serious and important need to get her fed every 3-4 hrs. To be totally relaxed about the completely opposite mindset that if she chooses not to eat much then she'll be ok is a big ask! But I think it's probably worth trying sooner rather than later whilst she's still very little and should be able to get past this.

Summerfruitssquash - I would prefer for her to drink more milk, definitely but she won't have it. I offer it in a cup (i used to offer bottles too but she just used to launch it) every few days and she has a swig, then spits it out shakes her head and moans for her water cup. She drinks lots of water. I add it to food (omelettes etc) where I can and she eats an unholy amount of cheese and natural full fat yoghurt so she's getting plenty of calcium and the fats she needs. She always hated milk - breast, formula and cows. As I said I had to dreamfeed her every single bottle from 16 weeks and this only stopped when she refused her final evening bottle at 13 months.

Good idea about offering something boring if she doesn't eat her dinner I'll be giving that one a go. Thank you

It is difficult to change yes, but as you say now is the time I need to address it, especially as it's really my issue not hers. It sounds like she's just being a typical fussy toddler and I'm stressing over it too much!

If she eats a lot of cheese and full fat yogurt, she may well not be very hungry. Cheese and yogurt are very filling! Cheddar has 2-3 times as much calcium as milk, so you could easily reduce the amount she eats without any concern.

Does she ever eat with other children? Eating in a group of peers can often encourage fussy eaters to join in.

I don't have any other children but no, she doesn't really. We don't really eat around other kids though. If she has anyone distracting her generally she stops eating and is more interested in whatever they are doing.