Not digesting???

[crace]

Some background, my 14 month old has pretty much never eaten food - and refuses to eat off a spoon for me, and will barely lick it if she's holding it. She is also still breastfed, and will eat hourly if I let her.

Last night for supper she had a soft carrot stick, some pork and raisins for dinner as finger foods. And all of it came out pretty much as it went in - whole bit off pieces. I knew she wasn't chewing but for crying out loud, her body isn't digesting it!

I have a call into my HV who isn't around until Monday and the GP who will phone back this afternoon as it's non urgent. But.. what is going on??

I have to say, this is going to put me into a mental facility - I am fed up with this food rubbish.

DH said it's because she skipped puree and her system isn't able to digest as we skipped that stage and put her on pureed food - but she won't eat off a spoon! Alright for him to say, she isn't bugging HIM for feeds or refusing to eat for HIM. He's not around! And he's working off in Manchester this weekend so it's just me yet again.

FED UP! Help anyone?

Carrie

HI, sorry you are having a bad time. Without sounding critical and with respect .... think about is from her perspective... why should she chew hard funny tasting textured stuff when she can just suck and get a nice warm milk drink that fills her tummy all through the day? You have already answered the question in your message 'hourly if I let her'.

Maybe its time you gave her the incentive of eating by stopping the boob? I know how important BF is but by 14 months (as you obviously already do realise as you are a sensible mum, she needs minerals and vitamins from food). SHE doesn't know that, so it might be time to actually be hard on her and tell her there is no more BF except X time of the day (maybe just in the morning when you have a cuddle in bed and no other times).

I call this the 'Parental Executive Decision'. You need to take charge. I think she is spitting up whole pieces because she hasn't learned to chew yet as she hasn't been given the chance to practice.

Hope you don't mind the very blunt suggestion. Maybe while your partner is away this weekend its time for cold turkey. It will be tough but think of it as a 'food boot camp' and get out the bottles of puree and start from scratch. Every time she wants some boob, offer a pot of apple puree. She can use her fingers, a spoon, lick it off the plate, anything and see how that goes. Just give her oodles of praises and reward with hugs and tell her how wonderful she is and what a big girl.

Good luck and please accept my advice with my utmost respect and love and let me know how it goes.

To be fair, if adults don't chew their food, the food comes largely out as it went in. I don't think there's anything wrong with your daughter's digestive system, she just needs to get in the habit of chewing.

Some children really don't get into eating until well into their second year. I don't think this is necessarily a problem.

Did she enjoy eating the carrot stick etc? Does she generally eat a reasonable amount?

I did get fed up with bf on demand at about a year, and moved to feeding each DS only in a few places - my room, their room, that sort of thing. That meant that they wouldn't expect to feed while we were out and about, and I wasn't always feeling pulled at and hassled to feed.

Oh, the puree stage is totally unecessary, lots of people skip it, and their children digest food fine.

I know you say she's pretty much never eaten food, but carrot, pork and raisins sounds fine.

Remember, food is for fun until a child is one - she's only just over that age, it's not worth stressing about too much.

DS didnt start chewing things properly until he got his first molars at 18 months and even then it took a couple of months for him to get the hang of using them...but when he did the difference in his poo was very obvious...from what you decribe about her eating & bfing patterns she sounds fine to me...some babies do eat very little & still have lots of bm well into their 2nd year...haave you read "mothering your nursing toddler" by Norma Jane Bumgarner - really good reassuring read about bfing older children....highly reccomend "My child wont eat" by Carlos Gonzales as well...really good book about babies & their eating habits.

No, it's fine - I agree it's the feeds. Sorry I didn't come back before now, I've been working to keep my lovely daughter distracted. I've moved her to 2 hourly feeds, and she's actually eaten a small lunch and a small dinner. Wonders - the object will be to get her to eat more and therefore space out the feeds on her own, which will be ideal as neither of us are ready to give up yet.

There is hope, I just need to help her along a little with a lot of patience and determination on my part as I am very weak.

As for the food, the GP said it was a stomach bug, stupid man - I am more inclined to think it was literally just becuase it's hard to digest food and she isn't chewing yet. I've given her soft food (dinner was tortilla with beans and melted cheese) and chewed any hards bits for her lunch which I gave her ham, cheese etc and she ate a few bites of each. So progress.

Thanks for your reponses.