9 month old now milk only - what do I say to nursery?

[Stepspring]

Some advice please, my 9 month old has been in nursery for about 6 weeks now. When he started he was eating puree and sucking on finger foods. He hadn't managed to swallow any lumps having a bit of a gag reflex. But I wasn't worried and thought we would progress in his own time. We told the nursery all this.

Every day the nursery staff were reporting all these different types of foods he was eating, as well as puree he was eating bread, rice cakes, bread sticks, even hot dog!? and at first I thought wow! how have they managed that? But at home he would suck on these things but either gag or just push the food back out. So I started asking for them to define what they meant by him eating these things. Turns out they weren't that sure and maybe he was just sucking on these things but not eating. Every day it would go down in his diary he was eating these things. Sometimes he was coming home hungry (and tired) and the first thing I would do is feed him.

He is also getting far less milk than he usually would at home and they said he was refusing it. We kept impressing that they needed to try and make sure he got his milk. Some days he would get only a 1/3 of his normal amount but they kept reporting all the other food he was eating and they weren't too bothered about the lack of milk.

Now his eating has gone downhill and he has started to react badly to being fed and refuses to be spoon fed and won't even try finger food. The nursery have now I think finally got the message but seem to suggest it's something we're doing at home - cause he was eating so well before! The fact is, he has never eaten these foods and it worries me that they haven't been paying attention and it makes me wonder what has been going on? We've been very gentle with him and allowed him to progress at his own pace and I feel so frustrated that every day things seem to be getting worse.

So how do we resolve this? We have a baby on milk only and refusing puree, finger food and anything we may offer.

One thing maybe as that he was diagnosed with a posterior tongue tie at 8 weeks, not a significant one, but enough to cause us problems with feeding. This resolved but I'm wondering if it's affecting his swallowing?

My (now) 13 month old wasn't eating anything at 9 months either. It was only really at about 11 months he suddenly found his way, and is now on three meals a day. A health visitor was very when I told her he still basically lived off of milk at his 10 month check, but I did remind her that I could hardly force feed him.

As far as the nursery is concerned I would raise it with them. Note down how much milk he is to have each day and when. Maybe ask them to give it after meal times so that he will be hungry and hopefully he will try food first.

Good luck

Ah thanks for the reassurance and advice that he will get there. I'm a bit nervous about talking to nursery - don't know why I am paying them after all. My husband has been coming down to reitterate things to them but I guess it's time for a proper chat to them rather than just a few words at drop per or pick up times.

Don't worry about talking to them, just make it clear what you want him to have and when and they will go ahead. If it doesn't work out that way then you will know you may need to move him elsewhere.

When my son got older I started to get worried that he wasn't eating. Lots of babies I knew of similar age were all on 'three meals a day'. But eventually something just clicked with him and he figured it out. I found organix snack stuff good to ease him into feeding himself because he actually wanted to eat it. If I gave him a finger of toast or something he just didn't 'get it'. Now though he eats everything!

With baby led weaning they say food is for fun until you're one at home I'd just put out food stuff and let him play don't worry about him eating you can rely on milk. With nursery I'd be firmly asking for a much closer eye

I'd have a talk with the nursery manager and/or baby room leader. Doesn't have to be accusing, just be clear that you want them to support you in getting your DS through this tricky phase.

I echo "just for fun until they are 1"

You are doing all the right things.

Do you give bottle feed times to nursery. I would try and have them offer milk just as you do at home.

thanks so much for the advice, I've been feeling the pressure from nursery that he should be eating more solids and he's falling behind (I didn't know it was a race?!) - I would like him to go at his own pace and thanks for the reassurance that food is for fun until one.

I don't know why but I feel really nervous bringing this up to them? I will be firmer and make sure he gets his milk. They have been giving it to him much hotter than he would get at home. I did query this and they said he likes it fine hot - but then also reported he wasn't drinking it??? They got bottle feed times when we first started along with nap times and so on - which they then ignored and tried to get him to fit in with their schedule. Needless to say he's not sleeping much there. At home I try and keep lunch and dinner to the same times as the nursery so there is some consistency.

We're trying the baby led weaning but at the moment nothing goes near his mouth - if we just let him play with it and not fuss about him actually eating it then is that best?

Yes just let him play with it! That's what I did, he would have a meal in front of him first, he would eat (or not eat) and then a bottle.

If they're not sticking to the schedule I would just bring it up with them again and insist they stick to it. If they try to give you grief about his eating, just smile and nod.

Good luck op!

...but also I would speak to the nursery about how accurately (or not) the diary is being filled in. What else are they not telling you/putting a spin on?