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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

What miracle happens at 1?!

21 replies

Luckystar1 · 03/09/2015 08:44

DS is 10.5 months, I started BLW when he was 6 months and he is still bf.

I know 'until they're 1 food is for fun' etc, but, what happens at 1?!

DS barely eats anything that's not bread or natural yoghurt and a variety of fruit. Very little savoury and not unless it's spoon fed.

I'm now at a loss to be honest. He is still having at least 8-10 bf a day. He's showing no signs of cutting down but then he's not really eating solids so why would he?!

I just can't keep this up for much longer! I need him to eat and I need him to take less boob, but how?!

Do I just stop the frequency of breastfeeds and effectively force the issue with him?

I feel if I don't, we'll be in the same situation in another 6 months and I was intending to move to cows milk from 1 so I want to begin the process of getting him off the boob gradually (as it could take about 2 months!!)

I know it sounds ridiculous, but he still wakes up at night for a feed. All of my friends are ff and are now down to 2-3 bottles a day, babies sleeping all night etc. I feel like I've tried so hard with this gentle 'attachment' approach and it has just made my life more bloody difficult!

Any help or advice would be gratefully received!

OP posts:

FishWithABicycle · 03/09/2015 09:13

This isn't a competition and there are no winners - and there is nothing you are "supposed" to be doing. There are a huge variety of different things you can do and different people espouse them with different levels of fervour. At the end of the day, you have to do what feels right for you and for your baby. It sounds like what you are doing at the moment doesn't feel right so of course it is OK to change it.

No, no miracle happens on a child's 1st birthday. Obviously there are different developmental stages and there is certainly a developmental stage of putting all sorts of stuff into their mouths experimentally (generally cat litter and slugs in my experience). But different stages happen at different speeds.

The friends I have who were keenest on BLW are also keen on extended breastfeeding (age 4/5 and counting) - I don't know how general this is, but if it is then that would suggest that BLW isn't particularly compatible with wanting a schedule for getting them off the boob. But someone with more experience may be along with something more helpful than that.

Original poster

Luckystar1 · 03/09/2015 09:20

Oh dear, no, I'm amazed I have bf for this long, 4-5 yrs is DEFINITELY not on the horizon.

Thank you, you are so right, I just find it so stressful. We can barely leave the house with naps and bf and solids to cram into the day, I suppose I just want one or the other, and it has to be a push towards solids now.

I think I just want him to eat, rather than me spending hours cooking and him resolutely refusing most things!!

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WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 03/09/2015 09:27

Ah I had one like this, I thought she'd never eat. Nothing miraculous happened at one, getting her to eat proper meals and drop the milk was a very slow process. However she's now 22 months, eats 3 solid meals and only had one cup of cows milk at bedtime, hooray! I did 'force the issue' to some extent, in that I deliberately dropped milk feeds. I thought it would be traumatic for us both but it really wasn't, I just distracted/got out of the house instead. It took a day or 2 to get used to each dropped milk feed, and solid consumption increased naturally at the same time.
Mine only ate bread, natural yoghurt and fruit too! She still loves natural yoghurt and fruit!

Original poster

Luckystar1 · 03/09/2015 09:32

Oh thank you!! I think that's what I have to do. The thought of him being hungry kills me, but I really can't continue this level of bf, it's the same number of feeds as recommended (as a minimum of course!) for a newborn!!

When your DD refused a meal, six you supplement with milk or just power through to the next meal?

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Original poster

Luckystar1 · 03/09/2015 09:32

Err that's 'did you' no idea where 'six' came from...

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WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 03/09/2015 13:39

I dropped the milk very gradually so was pretty confident she wasn't actually hungry. I offered water but yes, essentially powered through until the next meal. Getting out the house was key I think as she was distracted from wanting a breastfeed!
I felt completely at a loss with it all and was massively stressed, especially when all the other babies the same age were eating full meals and mine was still a complete milk monster, but when I decided to be more proactive with it, it actually wasn't all that difficult/stressful.

HeadDreamer · 03/09/2015 14:03

I think a developmental leap happens. I have a 11mo DD. I know it's not comparable, as she actually love her food, though eating very small amounts. (As in she'll eat everything but take very small bites). She was still feeding every 3 hours at 10mo. Like yours, she's feeding like a newborn.

I'm returning to work when she's 1. So the bf obviously have to stop. So at 11mo, I introduced two snacks. That's when the change happened. She stopped asking for so many feeds. I don't know if she would have accepted the food if I have offered her earlier. (But NHS doesn't recommend snacks until 12mo anyway). I think she just was genuinely hungry between the meals. She's a snacker and actually needs food every 3 hours or so. Within a month of introducing mid morning and mid afternoon snacks, she's down to one bf between her morning and her bedtime bf. If we are out and busy, she doesn't even remember to demand a bf before her afternoon nap.

So our schedule now is approx 7am breakfast, 9.30 snack, 12 lunch, 3 snack, 6 dinner. The evening food time is more spread out so it's clear that's why she wanted a bf. Nursery will have a tea at 4 and snack at 2.. And then she'll be having home dinner at 6.

Don't despair. You won't be feeding till 4/5 if you don't want to. I fed DD1 to 18mo and she was BLW and BF. And that's only because we went on holiday at 18mo and I cba to buy milk for her to drink. I'm sure she would have been off earlier if I tried.

Maybe try introducing snacks with rice cakes, cheese, fruit, etc?

HeadDreamer · 03/09/2015 14:05

If it's not clear from my post, I never not offer the breast. I just give more food and she naturally demanded less. Her stomach is filled with food instead.

Original poster

Luckystar1 · 03/09/2015 17:34

Thank you that is all great. I suppose I just feel completely out at sea because bf on demand doesn't lend itself to a routine so it's all be so confusing (or perhaps I'm making it so...!)

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HeadDreamer · 03/09/2015 18:47

luckystar I was feeding on demand as well. The routine happens with solids. At least I made it so. She has the three meals with us. And the snacks are offered around 9.30 and 3.30, around her naps. Basically if she's awake at 9.30 she is given a snack. If she's asleep then it is after she wakes up.

I give the food on a schedule and BF on demand. So the BF was dropped whenever she doesn't demand. HTH

HeadDreamer · 03/09/2015 18:48

And nap is also if I see she looks tired. For the last two days, she only had one nap. Maybe she's ready to transition to one nap now.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 03/09/2015 19:31

Same as HeadDreamer, the routine kind of built itself around the solids in the end.

Original poster

Luckystar1 · 03/09/2015 19:43

Ok thank you, I've implemented a new 'regime' so hopefully it will mean more solid and less boob. I'm happy to keep bf as long as he wants but only one or two feeds a day (within reason of course!)

Thanks for your help. Everyone I know has stopped bf and all I seem to hear is how much their dc are loving food... I spend a lot of time stressing!!!

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HeadDreamer · 03/09/2015 20:07

Forgot to reply on the night weaning bit. DD1 was night weaned at 15mo with Dr Jay Gordon's method (google it). I'm a softie and don't feel DD2 is ready. She still wakes 1-2 times a night for bf.

Sugarandsalt · 03/09/2015 20:15

Mine was the same. An absolute nightmare to wean. No interest in solids for a very long time, bottle refuser, wouldn't drink milk from any receptacle bar breast. I went back to work full time when she was 11months, with a settling in fortnight at nursery prior. And she started to eat within a few days, although at home she ate very little until she was 13months or so. Now at 16months she eats well, little and often. Still breast feeds 2-3/day, like you I thought I'd have long stopped by now, but she won't take any cows milk.

Lurkedforever1 · 03/09/2015 20:24

They're all different. Food wasn't just fun for dd by 6 months, she was cramming it down. My friends ds was bf as the main form of nutrition up till 2. Both nt and healthy, with hcps happy with both. And by 3 both eating like each other. Admittedly they might be two extremes, but it's all the same in the end.

Original poster

Luckystar1 · 03/09/2015 20:34

I have zero intention of breastfeeding for any longer than 18 months and that's at a push! I'm glad I'm not alone, although after only doing one feed this afternoon, ds eat quite a decent dinner so perhaps that's what I have to do.

Also, I'm struggling with portion sizes. Could anyone enlighten me as to how much their dc are eating?

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LieselVonTwat · 04/09/2015 15:34

Food before one isn't just for fun. Milk is supposed to provide the majority of their nutrition, but not all. That's just a slogan, no science behind it. Saying that, sometimes they do have a sort of overnight miracle! And it can be at about 12 months, or earlier, or later. Mine did, at about 9 months. She had virtually nothing before, then within the space of a fortnight was on three meals a day. I know of people for whom it's happened later, too. As others have said, it can be a developmental thing.

Also it doesn't sound like he's having nothing, it could be worse. Even quite a small amount of solids can provide significant nutrition. And loads of babies still wake for a nightfeed at 11 months. Obviously you may prefer not to, which is valid, but it's perfectly normal.

Tfoot75 · 04/09/2015 15:56

Rather than 'food before one is just for fun', it's more of a gradually changing diet from 100% milk at around 6 months to milk forming only part of a balanced diet by one year or sometimes later.

I made it into a routine after about 8/9 months as I didn't personally think bf on demand was needed any more. That was around the time that hunger could be resolved by either milk or solids rather than just milk.

I know that that might not fit with attachment parenting theories though!

I night weaned at around that time and bf about 4 times a day between meals. Would feed early if hungry but not do extra feeds, would offer solids instead. Snacks weren't really required at that age as bf was the snack. Cut down to milk twice a day at 1 year (stopped bf at around this time due to biting). Still having milk morning and evening at 2.5.

LBOCS2 · 04/09/2015 16:09

Also, when he's seeming hungry, have you tried offering solid food first? I know sometimes that doesn't work (when they're STARVING and it's all going to take too long!) but I'd certainly try and offer something quick (scrambled eggs maybe, or toast slices with something on them - cheese, mashed avocado, hummus) to see if he's happy to take that. It's almost a self perpetuating cycle - he's not eating solids because he's breastfeeding a lot and he's breastfeeding a lot because he's not eating solids.

Original poster

Luckystar1 · 04/09/2015 20:36

Thank you all! Finally I feel like I can see through the fog, and I have started to now feed on more of a 'schedule' (very loosely...) and it seems to be working (famous last words). Thank you all for your insights they've been really helpful.

Ds is also a major biter. He has a lot of teeth too, and had 6 by 5 months. He has drawn blood on more than one occasion. I am awaiting my sainthood!

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