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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Original poster

MIL thinks I don't feed DD enough. Opinion please?!

25 replies

LindsayS79 · 17/05/2015 16:19

Hi all
MIL has decided I'm not giving enough food for 22 month old DD..
DD was a refluxer, has cow milk intolerance ( this is improving and I'm introducing dairy in again) and was a blinking nightmare to wean.
Anyway, she's finally eating proper meals rather than mush and I'm quite chuffed at this. She's starting to get fussy but I'm still offering her the things she's refusing and not letting it stress me out. So then comes MIL saying I should be giving more snacks. I deliberately keep snacks small in order that she eats her meals as she's been difficult to feed previously. So, for example, here is her day in question where I was told off:
1 weetabix with half a banana and oat milk
Snack: rice cake with butter ( she can handle small amounts of dairy)
Lunch: a hipp risotto meal as she was at MIL's and it's easy to give
Snack: a handful of grated cheese and yoghurt
Dinner: 2 fish fingers, peas and cous cous
Snack: rice pudding with fruit (grapes, blueberries)
7oz of milk (neocate with some oatly)
Does anyone think this is too little??Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
LindsayS79 · 17/05/2015 16:21

Forgot to add that she's between 25th and 50th percentile for weight and has always been on 9th for length. Dietitian said she's steady and just small.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 17/05/2015 16:23

God no. She's not even 2 years old Confused

Sounds like more than enough to me.

theendoftheendoftheend · 17/05/2015 16:26

More than mine has!

girliefriend · 17/05/2015 16:27

No thats fine, was expecting you to say she is only having a slice of toast and a yogurt a day or something! Grin

strawberryshoes · 17/05/2015 16:27

Goodness, how would you managed to get more into her?! That sounds like loads / totally normal to me.

All you need to ask yourself is - is the baby happy and healthy? Does she pester for food between meals? Is her weight gain steady (and you already said it is).

MIL is being unreasonable on this occasion. I wonder why she thinks more food is required? Have you asked?

DramaAlpaca · 17/05/2015 16:29

Sounds plenty to me.

SquidgyMaltLoaf · 17/05/2015 16:29

MIL can get lost. That looks fine to me. My MIL thinks we're weird (well actually me, because she seems to think I press gang DH into agreeing with me) because we try not give our DD more than tiny amounts of added sugar. She's 10mo!

Fairy13 · 17/05/2015 16:30

About the same as my DS (23months) has! And I class him as a very good eater!

hugoagogo · 17/05/2015 16:34

Nope, but it seems like a lot of dairy.

Not judging I just know that reintroducing dairy can be tricky.

ThingummyJigg · 17/05/2015 16:42

Different children need different amounts so it's not always helpful to compare with other children.

However, the proof of the pudding is in the eating, and if your dd's weight centile is higher than her height centile (and presumably not falling) then yes she is definitely eating enough. I am also assuming your dd is happy and not listless, has plenty of energy etc.

MIL is perhaps comparing her to some other baby with an enormous appetite, which is pointless. Your dd is eating well and healthily, and your MIL has had her turn feeding her own children, and would do better to support you and dd, rather than criticise.

FWIW, I think your dd is eating an average amount for a nearly-2 year old.

RiskManagement · 17/05/2015 16:53

That sounds like quite a lot to me, about what DS1 (who has always been considered a good eater) ate at that age, but a lot more than DS2 would eat.

Is DD asking for more? If not she doesn't need it.

Original poster
LindsayS79 · 17/05/2015 20:51

Thanks everyone. That's so reassuring as weaning was just a nightmare.
She is really short for her age but that's always been steady. She's still got her lovely little chubby legs and arms so the dietitian is happy with her. Reading back that is a lot of dairy! She's tolerating it great, but if I were to introduce say, a beaker of milk/soya then I would say her eczema would break out.
MIL hates my guts (I'm quite ballsy and make DH do housework etc lol!) so I think she's trying to pick holes in anything. She's embarrassed that I don't allow DD a lot of sweet things like chocolate etc and she thinks I'm odd for that 'rule'. She wasn't happy as I said no to her giving DD a sweet scone with jam the other day..!! I think she's just not savvy on the levels of sugar/salt in things and doesn't see the harm. But I see a lot of harm in giving a soup full of salt or having a hyper toddler full of sugar!!

OP posts:
girliefriend · 17/05/2015 20:58

Tbf to your MIL I think that is maybe a little bit PFB to say no to a scone with jam (sorry Wink ) I think as part of a balanced diet treats such as a scone or small piece of cake are fine. Forbidding certain foods is asking for trouble later on imo.

Original poster
LindsayS79 · 17/05/2015 21:34

Don't get me wrong, she does get treats, but she turns into a demon child afterwards so I do like to keep it to small amounts!! I also find that if I give a big snack then she doesn't want lunch/dinner. So I like snacks to be fruit, cheese, piece of toast etc.

OP posts:
RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 17/05/2015 23:15

The food looks plenty. Btw the whole sugar/hyperactive thing has been debunked. I like to make sure my DC eat decently too but a scone is fine for a nearly 2yo IMO

SofiaAmes · 17/05/2015 23:25

Doesn't sound like too much, but as you said sounds like a lot of dairy and virtually no veg. And perhaps a lot of sugar, depending on how much of what your gave her was made from scratch. Sugar doesn't necessarily make a child hyper (I think that was debunked), but it is empty calories without fiber and vitamins and protein. Those percentile things are a load of nonsense. I have still not had a straight answer as to where they get the original statistics from. They always wrote my dc's info down wrong too.

MovingToAlnwick · 17/05/2015 23:30

I wish my nearly 4 year old eat that much!

Original poster
LindsayS79 · 18/05/2015 07:24

Thanks. The risotto had loads of veg in it, I'm getting to the stage of having to hide veg now due to her thinking anything other than sweetcorn, peas and baby corn is poison.
Well it must be sheer coincidence then that she runs about like a headless chicken if she has chocolate/cake!!!
I'm not saying a scone is bad, but I'm saying that I don't want things like that given every day and MIL would do that if I let her

OP posts:
MangoBiscuit · 18/05/2015 07:28

That's more than I can get into my 20month old, and she's big. So far today she's had milk, shunned breakfast, shunned fruit, and had some watered down apple juice. Hmm Your MIL would have a field day round here! Grin

pictish · 18/05/2015 07:29

Your mil needs to butt out.

I remember being concerned about the tiny amount of food being consumed by ds1 when he was about 2. I spoke to the HV and she reassured me that id he was thriving he was eating enough...which is kinda obvious when you think about it.

Anyway - it sounds like an appropriate amount to me. Your mil ought to back off.

pictish · 18/05/2015 07:32

At the same time...I have to say that getting into battles with your mil over silly things like refusing a scone and jam is just going to make you seem every bit as disagreeable.

MinimumPayment · 18/05/2015 08:25

I think you DD is eating plenty, but I too would have allowed the scone, or if it was very large suggested MIL shared it with her

TeenyTwins · 19/05/2015 11:40

I think your DD is eating loads, so no worries there. But if your MIL helps out a lot (if DD was there for lunch I'm assuming she does?) then you need to be careful about broaching the subject.

IME grandparents all want to feed their grandchildren 'fun' food and snacks, though they made us eat 'sensible' food when we were kids!

tiktok · 20/05/2015 11:48

Honestly, I would wonder why you make it easy for your MIL to express her opinion in this way.

You dd's diet is fine, and anyway, it's none of MIL's business - unless of course you were deliberately under or over feeding/neglecting a health issue or something serious. And it's clear you are not doing any of that!

If it was me, I'd tell her firmly not to make comments....and then change the subject. If she took the huff or continued to make comments, I'd bring in DH to lay the law down in support.

BlueBananas · 20/05/2015 11:54

That's more than my 5 year old eats! Curious as to where your MIL thinks you should add more snacks? You do - breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack - so there really isn't more room in the day for any more Confused

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