Control Freak Mum needs help with BLW!!!

[firststeps]

title says it all really!! my ds is happiest when feeding himself - pushes spoon away with all meals now except yoghurt! How can I chill out about him getting enough to eat when he is feeding himself, and if he doesn't eat enough in the day is it likely he'll start to wake up again in the night? he is 10.5 months btw.

blw blog from a mumsnetter

my dd would not be fed from a spoon once about 8 -9 months..so i spent ages trying to shovel it in..me & her getting cross..till i gave up and let her feed herself..and surprise , surprise, she eats so much better now!! will eat anything and everything!

they will eat enough to satisfy their hunger and he might eat more if allowed to take the lead.....

i wish i had known about BLW ages ago...didn;t know i had been doing it !! and could have saved a lot of faffing!!!

what type of things do you give your dd out of interest (and in case I can nick any ideas!)

hi, we have done blw feeding from 6.5 month old onwards. For example:

• oat porridge made with whole milk, eg oat so simple plus little sugar in kmicrowave, overnight in fridge and cut in strips. similarly, polenta porridge, rice pudding made with flaked/pudding rice, semolina.
• 5 cm long, 2 cm thick pieces of ripe melon, pear, peach, nectarine, mango
• pieces of banana, ripe avocado
• heaps of sweet potato, flaked salmon/trout/haddock etc
• homemade chicken nuggets, fishfingers, beefburgers
• pieces of well cooked broccoli, cauliflower,courgette, carrot, parsnip
• potato chips
• toasted wholemeal bread fingers with dairy lea cheesespread, butter and jam, etc

=

It's great once you stop worrying! Agree with animalfarm but wouldn't put sugar in the porridge - try raisins or grated apple instead. The recipe for porridge pancakes in on the blog....have an evening reading on there and you'll be well away!
DD2 is just 7 months and eats more or less what we have i.e. can eat handfuls of quorn mince and rice, but she does still eat yoghurt off a spoon which I load up and she takes off me. We only do this on bath nights.
Good Luck

thing is, if you really are a control freak then maybe blw isn't for you (although it sounds like it's for your baby ). you simply have to cede control and let the baby lead their own weaning, and sometimes they eat loads and sometimes they eat bugger all. which is fine, because they are in charge. why don't you let the baby eat what he wants and then you'll find out if it affects his sleeping? it doesn't with my dd, but every baby is different, so yours might. but this way you are treating him as if he's going to wake up before he's had the chance.
anyway, i write the blog, and i do hope you enjoy reading it. start from the bottom.

Ah, but I am a control freak too, but find that BLW takes away the worry IYSWIM. No more counting the ice cubes.

BTW Aitch, DD2 is doing really well with having a plate/bowl and not chucking it around. I am very proud of her resisting the temptation.

you are proud, i, frankly, am astonished. a neat-freak at under a year, that is something to behold. wish dd was the same...

Aitch - I know BLW isn't for me which is why it's difficult - but it is definitely for my little boy which is why I want to try. You're right about the sleep thing - he has just started to sleep through and I suppose I'm panicking that he might wake up without really giving him the chance! It is a nightmare being a control freak when you're a mum - but I suppose it is the best thing that could have happened as I have realised you definitely can't control a baby. Thanks for all the messages. Laundrylover -know what you mean about the ice cube thing - we have a whole drawer dedicated to them in the freezer - but hopefully not any more.

just grit your teeth and think of the future, if you can. as i said, there is a school of thought that says if you give them control now they might be less inclined to try to grab it back as toddlers with food refusal.
obviously DD is only 10 months so i haven't tested that theory yet, but at least now if she doesn't eat i can give her milk, but when she's older i'll just have to sit and stress about it.

so if he dosn't eat well at one meal do you just offer more milk? my lo usually has milk first and last thing and approx 4-5 ozs at 2ish, if he ate less lunch for example would you just offer a bigger feed at 2ish?

well, there isn't much info on BLW and FF, because the research group were all BF.

however, i formula feed, but i have always made up feeds that i reckoned she wouldn't finish (ff on demand). i would say that is the way that makes sense if you are BLW (or weaning with purees, for that matter) as it allows the baby to control their intake.

so to be honest i'd start making up an extra ounce or two in the bottle at each feed, so that the baby can indicate what they want. (you might be doing this already, so ignore me if you are).

basically offer as much food as they want, and offer as much milk as they want. it's the closest thing to them managing their bfing, in that respect, and hopefully lessens the chance of obesity in the future.

so to look at your example, yes, i would offer more, but it's actually quite difficult for you to guage how much solids has been eaten, so i would always offer more, iykwim?

not sure i've explained that at all well...

we give formula milk in doidy cup with each meal and just top up the cup as required, mind you on top I also still b/f but mainly during evening/night.

What do you do if your baby just chucks it all on the floor?
I tried BLW, prob not for long enough, but it didn't really work for us as my dd didn't actually eat anything. Just played with it. I know if I'd persisted that she'd probably have started eating but you worry that they'll be hungry etc...so you give them mushed food to make sure they've actually eaten something.

What do you do if your baby just chucks it all on the floor?
I tried BLW, prob not for long enough, but it didn't really work for us as my dd didn't actually eat anything. Just played with it. I know if I'd persisted that she'd probably have started eating but you worry that they'll be hungry etc...so you give them mushed food to make sure they've actually eaten something.

You've answered your own question really Princess as when they are hungry they WILL eat! There is a lot of chucking food about which you just have to learn to smile about IMO. Thing is that if you then spoonfeed them it stops being BLW IYSWIM, this is why the milk intake is so important. DD2 has days when she just isn't interested in food but others when she shovels handfuls of risotto in quite happily.

Speaking as the parent of a non-sleeping baby, who also did BLW, I can assure you that how much or little they eat makes sod all difference to how well they sleep. DS is now 16 months, and most days he eats really well. But his sleep is still pretty erratic. IME, all kinds of things affect sleep - recent developmental strides, teeth (oh, how teeth affect it!), the cold, a cold or other lurgy. But food intake? Nope. Not so much.

I am also a bit of a control freak, and am still inclined to check the left-overs and calculate backwards how much he's eaten. But you just have to go with it. I consciously stop myself from making a fuss about how much he's eating and hope that as a result mealtimes won't become a battlefield. I reckon it's all good practice for all the other things I won't be able to control as he gets older.

thanks for that - think I am making a bit of headway - he had mini pizza for tea, bread and butter, a piece of cheese and a slice of mango, I looked in the highchair after tea as I usually find stray bits of food lurking in the corners and there was nothing there - he had eaten the lot!!!!

that sounds like amazing headway, tbh - congratulations. now all you have to do is promise yourself that you won't panic tomorrow when he just chucks everything on the floor without tasting it.

I bet he does that just to test me!!!!!!