Nearly 1yo and not sure how we're doing.... Not well enough I suspect

[ilovetosleep]

We are in a difficult situation as DS is dairy/egg/gluten free but I still feel things should be better. He still bfs all night long which obviously impacts on his appetite but I'd like to know if he's eating a comparable amount to other 11-12 month olds. He is also a fiercely independent spoon refuser so Blw since beginning.

How does this look, and what does yours put away? I should add that hv, paed and dietician all think he's not eating enough solids, but I just want to gauge compared to other kids rather than their strict 'no more than 2 bfs a day and 3 solid meals' approach. They've made me a bit anxious about this.

This is our last 2 days:

Night time 5 bfs
Breakfast - 1/2 slice gluten free bread and peanut butter. Not a lot goes down. Handful of blueberries. Water.
9am bf.
Lunch - 1/3 adult sized cod fish cake, 2 slices roast carrot, 2 florets broccoli. Half a pear, 3x spoons soya yoghurt. Water.
1pm bf
Dinner - butternut squash pasta, only ate about 3 pieces of fusilli. 1/4 small avocado. 1/2 satsuma.
Bedtime bf.

Over night 4 bfs
Breakfast - refused porridge. Water.
9am bf
Lunch - 1/4 avocado, 2tsp hummous, 1/2 gluten free cracker. 1x cherry tomato. Water. 1/2 kiwi fruit, 1x small Ella's coconut smoothie pouch.
1pm - bf
Dinner - roast chicken - ate 2 small slices chicken, 3 discs carrot, 1 green bean, 1 small roast potato. 4 spoons coconut yoghurt and 10 grapes. Water.
Bedtime bf.

What do you think? Thanks in advance.

I didn't BF so can't comment on the frequency of that, but I think he should be eating a little more. The roast chicken dinner is about the minimum I would have expected DD (now 19mo) to eat at that age.

There doesn't seem to be much protein, that would help him remain fuller. Does he like meat? Mine don't like chunks of meat ( probably because I don't like chunks of meat so didn't feed them regularly) but enjoy tinned tuna, tuna steaks, mince, sausages, salmon. Apart from that it's all decent, healthy stuff you're giving him.

What happens if you refuse him nighttime feeds?

Please don't be anxious, not all children are the same. But I assume you would like to reduce the nighttime feeding? You must be shattered?

Also meant to give an example of DDs daily food, as it's been the same for the last 6 months:

Breakfast: ikea kids bowl 3/4 full of porridge and mashed banana, 1/2 a tommee tippee of pure orange

Lunch: one slice of bread in the form of cheese and ham toastie / French toast / egg mayo sandwich / tuna mayo sandwich / beans on toast and ikea kids bowl 3/4 full of chopped berries & grapes and Greek yoghurt and 1/2 a tommee tippee of milk

Dinner: ikea kids plate full but not piled up of salmon brocolli pasta, chicken pasta, chicken, mash and peas, chilli con carne and rice etc and 1/2 a tommee tippee of milk

We don't really do snacks, but if we do it would be fruit, and she has water to drink between meals.

Last post, I promise!! Looking again, there is a decent amount of non meat protein, but is he prioritising the fruit and veg over it?

I'm also b'feeding my DS. He's 15 months now and he eats less than that and refuses to touch grapes or tomatos.

That seems like a healthy and varied diet to me, after all 'food is fun until they're one', so any food he's eaten is a plus and it will increase in time as the milk feeds go down.

We cosleep and my DS also feeds up to 5 times a night, I think he fills himself up with milk then but I've given up worrying about it, I'm providing food and if he's hungry he eats it. Some days he eats lots and other days he eats hardly anything. He's teething at the minute so he's off his food a bit and his milk intake has upped correspondingly.

Well that sounds at least as good as my DS, also almost 12mo and without the restrictions of any intolerances. He's only just showing any sort of interest in feeding himself with fruit and veg. Also still BF-ing at night, twice or sometimes 3 times (when I'm a pushover).

Has your DS had lots of winter bugs? Mine has been ill almost continuously for the last couple of months (starting nursery hasn't helped) and has had several days where he's refused solids altogether. He was weighed yesterday at his 1 yr check and his weight has actually fallen over the last 6 weeks. I can't force him to eat if he's not feeling like it, I figure things will improve in the summer when hopefully there are fewer bugs around and he's a bit more coordinated. I'm also cutting out the night feeds, but only gradually. BTW we are working with a sleep consultant who says 4 BFs a day (i.e. daytime hours) is ideal for 12mo, so I think what you're offering during the day sounds fine.

I'm sure they'll get there!

So mixed opinions really. In answer to some Qs, yes he does like meat but somedays not so much - eg in typical one year old fashion I could serve up chilli 5 days in a row and he wouldn't touch it 2/5 times but would wolf it down the others. But yes he always prioritises fruit and veg over protein - just like his older brother (who, apart from this eats like a trooper and is the envy of many mums!) for rxample, today we had beef chilli and rice. He ate a chunk of beef (broken into about 3 small mouthfuls), about 5 kidney beans, 2 mouthfuls of rice, one asparagus spear and a handful of peas, but all the while he was shouting and pissed off. I cleared his plate as I hate mealtime battles - but was happy as marry when I put his fruit in front of him and demolished the bowl (it was actually a salad of peach, avocado and cherry tomatoes). So I hate to say it but I think there is an element of fussiness beginning to appear. But I have read 'my child won't eat' and I'm determined not to make a fuss!

Yes he has had a constant streaming cold/cough and is teething chronically so I assume this is affecting things too. He actually only has 2 teeth (ds1 had about 12 by now) which probably doesn't help, especially as a spoon refuser!

Arctica how are you cutting back night feeds? I have a thread going in sleep about this, I'm starting to work on self settling at bed time (v gentle, gradual retreat) but so tired in the night I'm struggling to say no..

Compared with DD1 I think he's not eating well. I remember clearly it was breakfast, bedtime and one night feed. So only 3 bf a days. She dropped her day feeds by around 10mo.

I would trust your HCP judgment. But I'm not sure how you can make him eat more.

My 11.5 month DS probably eats a bit more, but isn't so keen on fruit and veg at the moment - but he goes through phases of eating a lot every meal, hardly eating anything, living off snacks, eating well teo out of three meals, who knows what type of day it wil be! Dd (5) was similar but always demolished any fruit, she is a fantastic eater now so I am just going with the flow, I think we found that the more often we could eat together and share meals, the better her eating became so trying to do that a little more now as well - you may already do that, but it definitely helped us. I also think sbout 14 months was a massive turning point with DD when she seemed to get meal times and eat much better generally! I am working on the assumption DS will do the same...!!!

He is eating a similar amount to my DS1 at that age. Who probably had about 3 feeds a night. He probably only ate twice a day at that age. When I went back to work and he couldn't bf in the day he ate a bit better on those days. But he didn't really eat well until he was night weaned.

Ds2 is 10 months and he feeds once during the night. Today he has had a morning bf, one weetabix
PaPasta with veg and tuna and cheese. Fruit puree half a pitta bread. Breastfeed.
Breastfeed
Two Yorkshire puddings, some mash and some sausage. Yogurt
Breastfeed.
I had no idea babies could eat this much.
They are all different.
I think you are doing the right thing letting him regulate his appetite.

I did night wean DS1 at about one though as was too exhausting

Not sure how you can make him eat more.

Well that is the point isn't it. He is who he is and will eat what he will eat.

At that age ds was eating very little (less than yours) and bf a lot. Professionals were also concerned, advised me to cut down bf so he would start eating more solids. Avoiding breastfeeds was hard work for me, miserable for ds and guess what - he lost weight! Brilliant, thanks for that great advice.

So gave up on that and just let him do what he wanted, three months later he just started eating solids at one meal and carried on from there. I did nothing, he was just ready and now at 4yo eats a good variety of foods and is growing like a weed.

He is bright but a bit behind on physical milestones - sleeping through, potty training, mastering balance bike etc so I imagine his digestive system was the same. He also wanted the emotional comfort of bf I think as that went on for a long time.

If your ds has allergies I'm sure breastmilk is a safe comforting food source for him that doesn't cause any of the sore tummy etc that he might have experienced when trying solids.

I'm not going to tell you what to do but if I had my time over I would jack in all that worry.

I am trying so so hard not to worry. He is a big healthy boy but I just need my nights back. I wouldn't give a crap how much he ate if it wasn't literally eating up my nights - I haven't slept more than a 2 hour stretch in 9months. I guess one of the reasons I'm asking this is because I don't feel confident night weaning when he's clearly not eating enough, but it's a vicious circle and he won't eat more as long as hems filling up at night. But as BatFox pointed out, with his allergies and intolerances I don't want to interfere with his appetite too much.

He is most definitely better when e eat as a family. However we are v v busy during the week with DS1s activities and never get back til 5pm for the kids dinner - it's always frantic and they're starving (he is so obviously hungry but sometimes too hungry/tired to eat!) and it's always too much for me to sit down and eat with them - I hover around them unpacking bags/clearing up mess/prepping dinner for later and their left overs for the next day. I try really hard not to interfere with his eating as I don't want him to feel pressured, but I know my desperation must be rubbing off.

I think you could start with night weaning by designating times where you won't feed if he wakes up. So if he wakes up before 11 pm you feed him and after say 4am but imbetween those times you work on cutting out the feeds.
I used Dr Jay Gordon method. Worked for DS1 and Wasn't difficult, I thought it would be terrible. Takes a Week I think. Then he did start eating better in the day

My dd is 14 months old and I would say her diet is very similar. For example today she has had
One or two bf during the night
Bf on waking
Breakfast: refused satsuma, ate possibly a quarter of weetabix
Snack: third of banana, half a breadstick, couple of pieces of nectarine and bf
Lunch: almost half a slice of cheese on toast (no crusts and refused the tomato) and bf
Snack: 2.5 grapes and most of a cracker with peanut butter and bf
Dinner: 8ish kidney beans, spoonful of rice, bite of mince
Bedtime bf

Sometimes I stress that this isn't nearly enough but she had put weight on at her 1 year check and is definitely eating more now most days (without dropping any daytime bf in last 6 months I think). Most nights she is having one or two feeds. I really have no advice on how to change it, as I am trying to follow her lead with regards to food and milk. I have also read my child won't eat, thank you for reminding me of it. I shall have to read again to make sure I am not making a fuss! Also she only just got to five teeth in the last couple of weeks (only had two before).

My dd also ate less then what you describe at that age, she just generally wasn't a very hungry baby. She bfd 2 times at night so not nearly as knackering! I didn't attempt night weaning till 14 months and regret not trying it earlier, but as I said she never used to be very hungry (this all changed by 16months, she won't stop eating now!) so even though it was hard it only lasted 1 week and it worked (mostly)!
You can't make them eat and as long as he's healthy etc I'm sure he'll be fine in the long run.