Can't get 1 yo to feed himself

[ChablisGlugger]

My 1 yo ds won't self-feed at all - not even finger foods. Should I be worried? He also won't take milk from a cup - after 3 months of trying we've gone back to the bottle for the time being - and we have to hold it as he just won't (he throws it on the floor if we try to encourage him to do it himself!). I feel a failure!

I wouldn't be worried. He'll become independent soon enough! My dd two and a half sometimes still likes me to feed her with a spoon.

There isn't really a timetable just guidelines and you are NOT a failure.

Try not to worry about it, it will all happen eventually. My ds wouldn't eat lumpy food until way past 13 months.

There honestly is no rush with all this stuff, just offer it every so often.

Just carry on offering finger foods and showing enthousiasm for food.

Thanks guys

Can I add to the list that he also hates his teeth being cleaned (screams blue murder!), doesn't try to stand at all, and hits or throws all his toys (ie won't / can't play with them at all in any other way). I only have a couple of friends with kids and theirs were all way more advanced. He doesn't get much exposure to other kids - do you think this plays a part?

They probably weren't 'more advanced' just different natured. he's at an age where he is just discovering himself, in that he has a mind and can use it to control what happens and try to get things 'his way'. It's quite normal for him not to like his teeth being cleaned there's been quite a few threads about this, the advice is just try your best at doing it, (most have to literally hold them still!) maybe give him a brush to hold and waggle as well. Or sing a song 'this is the way we brush or teeth....'

Are the toys age appropriate? Does he actually know how they work etc. It also may well be he's not into that type of toy. He may enjoy being with other children but if he isn't it won't 'hold him back'. You both might enjoy a local mums and tots group (your HV will know of local ones) But again that isn't for everyone.

Ds wouldn't (and couldn't) self feed until around 15 months, he didn't get how to drink from a cup at all until he was over a year.

He did play with toys as they were intended though.

although i do it all the time, try not to worry about this too much - they're all different, but it doesn't mean they're 'behind'

ds is 17mo and rarely feeds himself. if he's excited about something (snacks, mostly) he'll cope with finger foods, but he generally does not enjoy mealtimes and it's a case of me coaxing him by whatever means to take his food. invariably this means distracting him while i feed him

there are techniques which some people swear by (involving them in preparing the food, making it look 'fun' etc.) but i'm afraid none have worked for us. sticking noddy on in the corner of the room works for us [bad mother emoticon]

a one year old who prefers to be spoon fed is just enjoying having you feeding him. it doesnt mean he cant do it, it just means he prefers not to

keep putting finger foods on a plate and casually leaving them within reach. curiosity will get the better of him one day

as for the teeth brushing, have you one of these?

also, stand behind ds and gently hold his chin while you brush his teeth, it feels more secure to him and you

Thanks to you all for the words of wisdom / encouragement. I'm a first time mum, and trying to juggle looking after ds with working full-time from home. Sometimes it just gets on top of me and I think I'm doing it all wrong and panic sets in ....why isn't he standing / why won't he drink from a cup unaided / why doesn't he say many distinguishable words...etc etc etc. On the other hand, he recently worked out how to turn the computer off while mummy was working!

The finger toothbrush suggested looks fab - am about order one! As for the rest of it, I'm sure it'll all fall into place (I was panicking avew months ago that he couldn't crawl and now there's no stopping the lil bugger!).

Thanks again