Please help - toddler not gaining weight, picky eater, should I follow hv advice???

[lem31]

21 mo doesn't like high chair and has always struggled to gain weight so I've fed him as balanced a diet as I can within whet I know he will eat. I'm trying to get him to eat nicely in his high chair and to try new foods so followed advice of hv, always put him in high chair, give him what we are eating and if he doesn't have it then he goes hungry until snack time.
I've been really strict for more than a week. He tried a few new things, but just a nibble really. Mostly has been barely eating and mealtimes are hell with it descending into him screaming. He has stopped sleeping through - maybe he is hungry???

Now hv says weight gain isn't sufficient, back to regular weigh ins but to keep with high chair, new food etc.

Just had breakfast after night of little sleep and hubby says he can't sit there and watch lo scream so took him out and fed him a yogurt on his lap. Now sat here crying and don't know what to do?

Do I club hubby to death for undoing my work?
Is he right and I give up?
Do I follow hv advice?????

Help me - I'm too tired to be rational!!

Agree with the others - give him what he'll eat.

I also find the high chair advice odd - my oldest 2 DCs were in high chairs until over 3 but I think that's very unusual, and it's because they liked them. Generally I'd say that 21 months is the time that you'd be thinking that the won't be in a high chair much longer.

My advice would be to give him his lunch at a different time to yourself. Let him eat it sitting on your lap (no he WON'T do that for the rest of his life) so he can make as much mess as he likes, then have your lunch a bit later.

It's hard. I have one normal eater and two fussy eaters. I never gave the fussy eaters what we were having as I knew they wouldn't like it and wouldn't eat it and it goes against every instinct as a mother to give my child something to eat I know they'll hate. (I am not talking about giving them breakfast cereal they used to eat last week but declare this week they don't like any more here - I never gave in over that - I mean our actual meals.) So I ended up with two "chicken nuggets and chips" kids. But they enjoy the food they do eat and are gradually (the progress is glacial) eating more foods as they get older. Needless to say, ironically they are both staggeringly healthy and get much fewer colds/bugs than DC1 who will try anything and who eats all his veg.

Just a quick idea which turned out to be hugely relevant for us, get his tonsils checked out and make sure they are not too large.

I agree with other posters, teach him to enjoy food and later teach him table manners, he's so little! I only insisted on very basic things like not chucking food around until as was about 3.5. Then introduced reward charts for table manners. I think.its good practise to offer what you eat, but you can cater for them a bit without them realising. For example ours are given the same as us but I always make sure thre are 2 or 3 things they like, e.g side salad with tomatos or cucumber so if they don't each much of the main thing at least they eat a bit of something healthy. I can relate yo you sat crying after dh undid all your work, we've had moments like that! Its hard to know what to do for the best but don't worry it will get easier. Dd2 currently won't stay in high chair, all meals seem to end with me covers in food!

Anything to do with feeding children is incredibly stress inducing. I think it must be a throw back from cave man days to ensure we didn't forget to feed our offspring and accidentally wipe out the human race

If the priority is getting calories in then do that any way you can. And btw 21 months is really early for sitting beautifully at the table eating a range of nutritious food groups. If you've achieved this by the age of 7 I'll be impressed.

I would second the idea of picnics. Mine loved a picnic so we'd pack a rucksack with snacks and climb up the mountain (stairs) to the secret cliff top (landing) and then crawl across the dangerous ridge to the hidden cove (a bedroom) where we would eat our picnic as a reward for great adventuring. The teddies and dolls usually joined in too.

Keep smiling, millions of us have been there.

My ds usually eats on his lap in front of cbeebies. If I make it more "formal" with him at a table or no tv he doesn't eat as much and seems to get stressed out. I plan to work on his eating habits as he gets older. ... there's no reasoning with toddlers! We do eat out a fair bit so he gets the sitting at the table experience then but at home I am very laid back. I like to eat on the sofa in front of the tv and I guess he's the same!