BLW failure

[tertle]

DD is 8.5 months old and we started solids when she was 6 months. At the time, her paediatrician said it was good we were starting solids as her weight gain was beginning to slow down and he thought solids could help her gain more quickly.

I decided to go down the BLW route as really liked the idea and although nothing went in at first (as is normal!) she seemed to start to get the hang of things quite quickly and would eat quite a lot some days but others not much at all. I didn't worry because I was always under the impression that milk is what provides babies with their needs up until they are 1. And, when we went back to the paediatrician when she was 7 months, he said she'd gained 3 lbs so I thought she was catching up with her weight gain.

However, I went back to the paediatrician for her 8 month check and he told me she weighed the same as what she weighed when she was 6 months old. I told him that that couldn't be possible but he said when they weighed her at 7 months they must have made a mistake . He told me not to worry as he is fine in herself and that she must have lost any weight gained over the past 2 months because she was sick (she had a sickness bug which lasted 2 days).

I left his office feeling really confused about her weight but mostly feeling really bad that she has hardly gained anything in 2 months. And pissed off with her paediatrician for getting her weight wrong. And although he said she is fine in herself, which she is, I really don't like the idea of her weight gain being non existent.

Since then I decided to start spoon feeding (as well as finger foods) her so I know that she's getting some solids and this week I took her to a nurse to be weighed. She had gained 1.3 lbs in 10 days since our visit to the paediatrician. I explained to the nurse what feeding methods we'd been using and although she wasn't critical she told me that I hadn't been feeding DD enough and that she should have at least two lots of 200ml of purées /mushes per day to gain weight properly. When I suggested that I thought that milk was what is needed for nutrition she told me that that was a 'theory' created by the BLWeaners and that by 9 months, DD should be dropping breast feeds (now she has about 4 - 5 feeds a day and 2 at night).

I feel quite down about it all because I feel like I've let DD down doing BLW. And I am worried if she's getting enough from my milk? The nurse didn't mean to make me feel bad and she did say I shouldn't worry because DD seems fine but I felt horrible being told that I haven't been giving my DD enough food.

Just wondered if anyone had any advice or comments to offer.

Her weight is 15.9 lbs btw.

Thanks.

Bump…?

Has your DD got any medical conditions or are you outside the UK? This just seems a bit of an overly medicalised way of assessing children that age.

Their weight gain does slow down? What was she at birth? I think you expect weight to double by 6 months then triple by 1 year.

Thanks for your reply Mrscog. We are indeed outside of the UK, in a rather medicalised country, hence the amount of visits to the paediatrician.

She weighed 3.7 kilos at birth and now she weighs just under 7 kilos so she still hasn't doubled her birth weight.

If she's developing well in all other ways then I would try and not let it worry you too much. You can still encourage a BLW approach, but possibly alongside some spoon feeding too. At 8.5 months I wouldn't puree too much anyway - I'd encourage normal foods with a softer texture (this is what I did with my DS). So he'd have - porridge for breakfast with soft copped fruit stirred in, or raisins or something. Then a finger food lunch (for the BLWness) and then something like pasta and sauce/stew/cauliflower cheese and mashed sweet potato for dinner.

Again, if there are no medical concerns I wouldn't stress too much about the quantity of 200ml x2 per day - just give her what you'd have in an accessible format :)

I think I'd stop taking her to health visitor and paediatrician cos I wouldn't be particularly confident they knew what they were talking about.

Oh, poor you, please don't beat yourself up about this. I'm certainly no expert but am currently weaning dc3 (7 months), and what I've learned is that anything to do with bringing up your children tends to be made a little bit more difficult if you stick rigidly to a particular theory. BLW has some brilliant points, and I bet your daughter is now chewing really well and will have tried a great range of foods. She'll also be used to eating around other people. I believe it can be too prescriptive though - purees have a place too, and you don't need to make them super-smooth. I was daft with dd1 and pureed everything smoothly for too long and now - at age 12 - she still doesn't like yoghurt with bits in it! I didn't make that mistake again.

Your daughter is now putting weight on. Maybe you should just roll with it, keep giving her the finger foods and encouraging her to feed herself, but fill her up with some carbie purees or mushy mixtures as well. With ds, he only wants to feed himself but we do a mixture of him holding a spoon or feeding himself and me helping. He now has 3 or 4 breastfeeds still each day, but at lunch and supper I always give him his solids first so that the breastfeed is a top up. We do things like salmon, potato and peas,mushed a bit but not pureed. It seems like a decent compromise.

FWIW I think weaning can be one of the most overrated bits of parenting! It's great if you have an unusual child like my dd2 who is an adventurous eater and has liked mustard, curry, olives, etc from a very young age,but with most babies it's more of a slog. Just don't blame yourself, you're doing your best.

Thanks Mrscog, that's what I try to do. I spoon fed her avocado with cream cheese and mushed up steamed courgette for lunch and she ate lots. Will try not to stress about quantities. She seems really active and is always moving so maybe that's why she doesn't gain weight very quickly?! But in all other ways she is developing normally and she is quite tall too.

Thanks Gallic. I am tempted to stop going to the paediatrician. In all other ways he is good but the weight thing really annoyed me even though he did his best to reassure me there is nothing to worry about.

You've made me feel loads better Furzella. I think I was a bit too caught up on only doing BLW but now I realise that some mushed up stuff teamed with finger food will probably suit her needs much better.
You're right, she is now gaining weight and has done well over the past 10 days so hopefully she will catch up. Think I will keep on with the BFing rate too.