Losing confidence in weaning 9 month old

[Amyellow]

My DD has a lot of health issues which have made weaning challenging, and I feel like we're moving backwards rather than forwards. All my friends' LOs are self feeding a wide range of foods, while I'm starting to really dread mealtimes.

I was all set for BLW, but DD's visual/motor skills aren't up to it - she still can't sit independently, and doesn't pick anything up or put things in her mouth (she was almost blind until 5 months old, when she had cataracts removed from both eyes, and she's still catching up visually).

Feeding has always been an issue - she had a tongue tie snipped at 3 months, and developed reflux symptoms at 4 months. I exclusively breastfed her til 6 months, then had to start supplementing with Infatrini milk, as she wasn't putting on weight. She's still below the 0.4 centile, and I pat myself on the back if she takes 500ml in 24 hours (4 day feeds plus 1-2 night feeds)- sometimes she won't even manage that. A bottle takes quite a long time, especially as I usually have to keep warming it up, as she'll refuse if the temperature's not right. She's still on Ranitidine and Gaviscon to control the reflux.

She has a very sweet tooth, and will accept stage 1 fruit purees, but no savoury purees. She sometimes gnaws on solid food BLW-style if I hold it for her, e.g little bits of toast, cheese, apple. She ate half a strawberry at teatime with enthusiasm (but it came back up 5 minutes later).

I'd love to hear if anyone's had similar issues, and any ideas on how I can get 3 solid meals a day into her without getting totally stressed out?

Hi, I don't have any experience with what you describe, but I was just wondering do you have any support from your health visitor/gp/dietitian? It sounds like really tough going, hope it gets easier soon-you're doing amazing. If you mixed some savoury puree with sweet would she take it - eg pear and parsnip, apple and carrot?

Is the reflux properly managed - regularly upping the dose of medicines and so on? My son is on ranitidine too, although his reflux is silent. He's not old enough for weaning yet so can't comment from that perspective...

My daughter doesn't have any additional needs, but she really wasn't interested in food until 14 months. She went whole weeks on just milk, even at 10/11/12 months old. I was tearing my hair out with stress that she wouldn't eat, compounded by her being an appalling sleeper too so that didn't helps matters. She woke up one morning and decided to eat some of the food we offered rather than refusing. I think if she had her way she'd still live on just milk. She goes berserk when I get it out of the fridge!

She's 23 months now and eats just fine by comparison. She's still not massively fussed about food, mainly because it interrupts her busy day of running around like a loon, but she does eat. She has quite a small appetite compared with a lot of toddlers her age and it's a pretty limited range but it's mostly pretty healthy thankfully!

Have you had any support from HV, GP, dietician?

Ps. What teat size are you using on the bottles?

it sounds like you need a hug and some as you have had some difficult times.
lots of babies take a while to get to grips with weaning even if they haven't had health issues and some don't really get going on eating until long after they turn one. can I be the first to say "food is fun u til they are 1"? it also sounds like you have had some progress with some finger foods recently too?

I suggest that you keep going but keep it simple - lots of variety and tastes of things, keep going with savoury and sweet - and not necessarily in the order of main course and pudding. I give my two a mixture often and they often return to savoury from sweet.

remember it is also about holding the food and the texture as well as the filling of the tummy and the taste.

don't spend ages making dishes - just put a spoonful of yours to one side to heat and offer the next day.

I'm sure she will get there.

I have no good advice but just wanted to come along and offer a hand squeeze - you've had a difficult start

My 18 month old is massive - off the scale for height and 91st centile for weight. My husband is 6 foot 6 so think DS heading the same way.

He adores milk and is still on at least 3 bottles a day.

The reason I'm warbling on about all of this is because everyone kept telling me he would be desperate to wean etc and eat loads. Well he wasn't. It was very difficult to get him to swap milk for food. He was happy to eat lots of little bits of food but clearly was relying on milk for his main nutrition. It wasn't until he was at least 14 months that he seemed to flip.

I was really worried - had visions of him going to work with 4 bottles of milk packed in his briefcase! However, the GP was totally relaxed and assured me he would get there and that it's totally fine if milk is their main source of nutrition until at least 12 months

My feeling with this is just to let your DD find her own pace. I think poo has given great advice on that

Dear all, thanks so much for your encouraging and supportive comments. Made me cry - in a good way!

It's really helpful to hear there are other babies who just preferred milk... all the babies I know are totally textbook and love their food, so I felt I must be doing something wrong. beccajoh my DD sounds like yours - she's so active, and would rather be kicking/rolling around than eat. If she has to wait a bit longer than usual for a milk feed, she stays pretty chilled and amuses herself.

The reflux seems to be under control in that she's not being violently sick anymore, but I haven't upped the meds for a while. Could it be making her uncomfortable without vomiting if she's not on a high enough dose?

Thanks for all the ideas, I will try a bit more variety and mixtures. Looking back, I have had success with a few things, but inconsistently, so it hasn't felt like we're getting anywhere. But then she does seem to do things at her own pace - gave up swaddle, nipple shields, etc, with no fuss because she was ready. So guess I have to trust her to do the same with food. I have a hunch that when she can sit and pick up finger food by herself she'll probably be a lot more enthusiastic.

Deep breath, and onwards! Thanks again :)

I'm glad you are a bit boosted - come back in a little while and tell us how you are getting on xx

My dd has only just started to become interested in food at 11 months. I know it's easier said than done but try and relax. Very few continue with this disinterest to the extent it becomes an issue after their first birthday. Milk is enough for now and personally as her hand eye coordination is behind I would spoon feed and think about blw at a later date.

Oh yes - please keep us posted.

I have an 18 month and a 5 month old yes, I'm mad and it won't be long until I need to wean here. Groaning a bit internally thinking about it as I felt I was practically housebound with DS as he was on 7 bottles a day plus three sleeps - as is DD - so it was rather hard to try and for the food in too!

Happy news will be that I can cut down expressing though - hopefully, eventually!

This thread has given me some very good refresher tips

am - re dosages, they're based on weight so has DD gone up a bit since her last prescription?

Have you tried baby cereal? Millet or rice are quite bland. Even so, my baby initially only accepted them when mixed with breastmilk or formula. I then started mixing veggie puree into this (while reducing the amount of milk/formula) and gradually upping the proportion of veggies. This was the only way I could get my son to accept solids. (If this works for you, try mixing in some pureed chicken or fish too as ideally they need to start getting some iron from solids at this age.)

Good luck - I have a headstrong one with reflux issues as well (who at 8 months is still waking hourly during the night). My sympathies, also for what you must have gone through with the cataract operation...